Couch 222: Create, Cooperate, Harmonize

I saw a documentary where they said sloths have a communal latrine at the base of the tree and they are not really fuseed if the previous sloth hadnt moved yet. Thats why they smell so bad

I really wish we had proper wildlife documentaries these days the recent ones i have seen are just "see cheetah stalk gazelle, see chertah run gazelle dead" or " mother lion basks in the sun with the cubs playing" i want to know about the biological ecological and behavioural aspects in a documentary.

And where's CE gone? I have really missed him.

My necklines are not nearly as plunging!

And I also wonder if/when COVID threat goes away, some people will wear masks during flu season or, say, when flying or on other forms of mass transit.

I will always wear a mask in he winter now to be honest. I am immuno compromised and was considering it before the pandemic went down so I think its permanent for me.

Not in the summer though. It is too hot as it is

There are a population of people originally from China near where I live, and for years I have occasionally seen some of them wearing masks in the winter, especially on public transit. I'm not sure if they were sick or if they were particularly worried about getting sick, but once it becomes normal, I think it'll stay normal for many people. I honestly don't even notice my mask anymore. But then I have a hard time envisioning a future version of myself who feels comfortable moving freely around the world again, so who knows what that hypothetical future person will do.

Maybe thats why they look so mad! No courtesy flushes! Thanks!

Eta - i can see myself keeping a mask around my neck as a fashion accessory. I used to just pull up my turtleneck or tshirt if somebody sneezed on the bus. A mask would definitely be more convenient. Or if somebody is smoking nearby.

I have noticed the same—people of Asian extraction wearing masks more often than non-Asians. I assumed it was because of picking up the mask habit during bird flu and SARS 1 in Asia.

I found another mask use this morning in the cold—it’s almost as warm as a scarf, especially one you left at home, and more comfortable.

The Asian mask wearing pre-dates SARS. In China, it's more common because of air pollution. That's where the PM2.5 masks originated because that's the size of the particulate matter. In Japan my female students would wear masks a lot during allergy season, winter PM2.5 blowing from China, and sometimes when they overslept and didn't have time to do their make-up.

Oh man Denny.



I only got to season 6.

Saw gender psychiatrist. Finally officially diagnosed with major depression and dysthymia. She's very familiar with complex trauma too. Starting Vortioxetine in addition to my other meds.

Waiting for the referral to an external therapist, as the clinic's gender psychologist is on maternity leave.

Re masks, I'm Chinese and it's normal to wear one when sick so you don't sneeze or cough onto people.

I'm still absolutely gutted about the match results. I know I'll get good training and it's plenty prestigious but I had really decided I wanted my first choice for a boatload of legitimately good reasons and the thought of moving across the country sounds just awful.

I'm trying to get excited about warm weather and surfing and the legitimately amazing faculty there but I think I need to wallow a bit more before I'm ready for that.

T ended up getting back to me via text. (I never text him unless I need immediate help but in the chaos of finding out I texted instead of emailed.) He said, among other things, "I think the hard thing is that we have a very strong relationship, and it genuinely feels like we are “in the middle” of something together—Not just getting started, and definitely not naturally winding down. It feels very odd to think about having to interrupt that; it is almost hard to fathom."

Geneticist guy still wants to see me again (though I can't imagine why--who would want to date someone who's moving across the country in seven months?) but virologist guy fell off the face of the earth. Just as well.

I wonder if I'm going to stay in bed for the next month. Very well might.

I wish US culture was more like this. I had a conversation with Dr. T near the beginning of the pandemic about how so many Americans seem so reluctant to wear masks. And it being particularly upsetting because it's more to protect other people than oneself. And we discussed how it's more common in many Asian countries, and he said that the overall culture tends to be more collective (or some word like that), where people are thinking of the greater good, of other people's welfare. Where here in the US, the culture in general is so much more individualistic, about personal liberties, etc.

There's pros and cons tbh. I'm not one for hyper individualism but imo, filial piety is one toxic Chinese concept that looks good but needs to go. Used to justify so much abuse because parents can do no wrong. And sometimes personal liberties mean more autonomy and freedom instead of being a dutiful walking money dispenser to selfish family.

Ooh, maybe I can skip makeup next semester and just wear a mask!

I think one presumably positive effect of the pandemic on me is that I'm not so concerned about wearing makeup in public. If I go grab a beer and a snack outdoors someplace, I may put on a little makeup, but if I forget, I'm like, "Eh, whatever." And I used to always apply it before going to a therapy session in person, and I did apply for maybe the first virtual session, then switched to just lipstick (I have rather ghostly lips), then lately haven't been applying it at all. Like, eh, whatever.

I suspect I'll go back to applying some eventually, as I have rather pale skin and worry I'll look sickly. But probably more minimalist than I used to.

Also, I have now accepted food deliveries while not wearing a bra, which probably sounds really silly, but it's something I used to be really neurotic about, like asking H to answer the door because I wasn't wearing a bra. (I do put on a bra for Zoom therapy sessions, though one time I started one without, then was like, "Ack, hold on a second" and put one on in an area where I was definitely off-screen).

I don’t bother with makeup. I’m in a mask all day long that covers all but my eyes. Why bother with makeup? Even our dress code at school for teachers is rather lax this year. With so many teaching virtually, I think they are just glad we’re functioning. I teach in person all day, but my shoes are tennis shoes; my pants are stretchy. No makeup.

I'm extremely sad. I only have this month of December before I have to reduce down to once a week with L. She's been really reassuring and supportive. I was afraid she would take things away because of the fee reduction, but she says she won't. She did lower her fee by $25. So with the reduction, that will save us $700 a month. That will help us immensely with financials. I'm just sad I will have her less.

I'm sorry Scarlet.

I communicate with my boss via microsoft teams throughout the day but I do get a bit antcy if she goes quiet for a long time. So I submitted the bills to her about an hour ago and I hadn't heard back from her yet but as I was on PC I wasn't too concerned. She just messaged me to tell me she's working with our outside accountants and she'll get back to me soon. That was nice. She knows my anxiety can go through the roof over stupid stuff.

I haven't bothered with makeup since Covid since the mask covers half of my face. Not that I was big on makeup before. But I admit, I did get excited about some new mascara I saw advertised on TV. Even my Mom was like, hmmm when the commercial came on. We both kind of had the same reaction, like I wonder if that really works like they say it does.

I did see something, somewhere, that said eye makeup sales have gone through the roof since this pandemic started.

Hugs, Scarlet, that sounds really difficult...

I was hearing voices yesterday. It wasn't for long but it was enough to spook me. So I texted a couple of friends and they kind of talked me through it. That was nice.