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Old 03-06-2021, 10:13 AM   #1
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Default Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVI

Anything you would like to say to your therapist, big or small... post it here.
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Old 03-06-2021, 10:55 AM   #2
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVI

Hi R,

I feel like crap today on multiple levels. Didn't actually get out of bed until just before 11:00am. Struggling to motivate myself. Thought I'd got away with feeling bad after the injection, but no such luck.

Feeling awful physically adds to feeling awful mentally, and it just snowballs.

Hope I'm feeling better by Thursday.
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Old 03-06-2021, 11:49 AM   #3
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVI

Dear T,
Possible trigger:


Love,
LT
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Old 03-06-2021, 12:31 PM   #4
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVI

Hey L, I just signed up for the next workshop. I didn't realize how much I wanted to do it until we were talking yesterday. I still haven't mentioned the year-long writing thing I'm doing. Or the still upcoming free zoom lectures I've signed up for. This is all in the name of keeping my work going apart from you, which is important for me so I know that I can and will do as we continue to decrease the frequency of my sessions. Every 2 weeks/twice a month feels really good right now and at some point, I imagine we'll go to once every 3 weeks... then once a month? We'll see how it goes. But I'm comfortable for now where we are. That one website I told you about in January, they have several free one-hour recorded lectures that I'm going to listen to between sessions, and there's also some very affordable ones too (to the tune of like $15-$18 each) that sound interesting to me as well. It's a good resource I found. And if S does any more $29 ones, I'll be all over those too. I have a hard time spending $199 for the longer ones, but I think this one at the end of the month will be worth it.
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Old 03-06-2021, 04:14 PM   #5
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVI

The past 2 sessions have been excellent. You really understood where I was coming from, and I got you, too. It facilitates true self-growth.
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Old 03-07-2021, 06:29 PM   #6
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVI

OH and... I'm still a little amazed about the Bear thing.
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Old 03-07-2021, 10:28 PM   #7
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVI

I can't believe I wrote that to you/acknowledged it. I am already scared to talk to you on Friday.
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Old 03-08-2021, 10:30 AM   #8
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVI

I seem to have moved on from previous T. It took a couple weeks. I didnít think about her much this weekend and today Iím ok too. Once I realized just how much better my mental health is now without her I feel ok with things. Honestly with the new T I see her again on the 18th and Iím not thinking much of her either. Iím just trying to focus on my move and get things taken care of around the house. I hope it continues that I am not hyper focused on therapy with anymore with anyone.
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Old 03-08-2021, 11:15 AM   #9
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVI

Hey L. Okay, so I'll admit it. For the first 2-3 days after my session, when I'm working on something related to what we talked about I'll be like ooh I want to tell you now. But then after that, usually by Tuesday at some point that goes away and I'm good waiting again. Finding these other interactive ways of continuing my work between sessions has been really helpful and I'm glad I'm doing them. Like, last night I found a 4-lecture series about dreams, archetypes, and complexes that I'm strongly thinking about registering for even though it's not free, it's not too expensive. Cuz I'm super interested in the complexes thing the more I read. It's absolutely fascinating. I'm working on trying to name the one that's been activated recently - I'm thinking it's like a core one or something, a deeper-seated one than others that I've already brought to light and integrated or whatever. It's a tricky one eh, that shape-shifts and slithers out of the light. It doesn't like me shining light around looking for it, does it? Ha. Goddess this work is fascinating.
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Old 03-08-2021, 02:02 PM   #10
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVI

Dear T,
So that ended up being kind of intense for a while there. With the talk about D and my fears and also with the COVID anniversary. Thank you for holding and accepting all of that, for being understanding and not judging of a couple comments. I admit that I have to wonder if they resonate for you as well in some way, but I could see them resonating simply as a fellow parent--and fellow adult human dealing with this. And thanks for sharing some of your own experience of the pandemic. I'd intended to talk about some other stuff today, too, but I apparently needed to address that.

I feel like the ending was awkward, but I think maybe I was just not wanting to say goodbye and sorta fishing for a "Take care" or something.

Love,
LT

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Old 03-09-2021, 11:12 AM   #11
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVI

L!!! I realized with a start this morning something else about myself/my shadow that I've been projecting on h for the longest. O.M.Freaking.G. Will these revelations never cease?! Navajo rabbit shadow work is hard. How does one keep from falling into a pit of despair over the things they finally allow themselves to see when doing this work?! I think I may want to come this week after all if I can't get a handle on this myself. I'm not spiraling into self-hatred yet, because I know the goal is wholeness, not perfection.... and I also know that once the shadow is brought into the light it will no longer control me.... therein lies my hope. I can do this. I can.


But I might call you.
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Old 03-09-2021, 12:59 PM   #12
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVI

What a ride the last week has been. I'm feeling more like myself now, though.
It bothers me how crucial that caring element is...it's not something I've ever experienced as a 'lack', but...where it matters and it isn't there....that's going to have consequences.
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Old 03-09-2021, 01:10 PM   #13
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVI

Dear T. Thanks for responding to my text message and sending me the picture of Pooh and Piglet hugging. That's not practical help for how I'm feeling but I know you are thinking of me and I appreciate it. Kit
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Old 03-09-2021, 03:31 PM   #14
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVI

I miss going to work and then right after that an in person therapy session and then going out to lunch right after that to try to rewind from therapy. I do have to tell myself that all this will start to happen again by June. Just different town, different therapist etc. but things will get back to normal for me.

I kinda missed old T today. But I used to have sessions on Tuesdays. This week Iím not having one at all. So maybe I just want a therapy session in general. Not necessarily with old T. My new therapy time is on Thursdays starting next week and Iíve always wanted therapy on Thursdays for some reason. I guess itís just extra support before the weekend is about to begin.
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Old 03-10-2021, 06:38 PM   #15
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVI

Old T was basically out of my mind today. Iím hoping the new T will be able to give me some names of people I need and possible referrals to other hospitals that can do what I need and that arenít hours away.

So far new T is like how old T was for almost a year. Just a regular T with no transference and I donít care about her other clients or if she thinks about me between sessions and secretly worrys about me the way I felt about the old T.
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Old 03-11-2021, 05:11 AM   #16
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVI

Dear T,
That was an interesting question you asked about whether the parental transference I feel towards you is a positive or negative thing and whether we can use it to progress therapy or if we need to work on trying to reduce some of that transference. You seemed to be suggesting that you were open to trying some reparenting to help build attachment if I felt that it would be helpful. I appreciate you asking me what I thought would be most beneficial and useful and being so open to my thoughts rather than pushing for what you think would be best.
I also appreciate your sensitivity about you going on leave for a couple of weeks and giving me lots of advance warning so we can spend some time preparing for that so Iím not left feeling abandoned. Itís weird, it actually feels like someone truly gets me.
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Old 03-11-2021, 07:45 AM   #17
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVI

It really hacks me off to think it's been a year since we were in the same physical space. My memory for dates is doing me a serious disservice in that regard.
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Old 03-11-2021, 01:45 PM   #18
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVI

Heya L (again). Man I'm still processing big stuff today. Holy wow. I was chatting with one of my old friends earlier and she said something I thought was really profound, and sorta sums up some of what i've been thinking about she said that "you're never going to figure it all out anyway, so just enjoy each day." something like that. It relates to therapy. Like what I was saying. That I know I'm never going to be done with my inner work, and that's why I'm finding ways of doing it that don't involve you. I have another (free) Zoom thing tomorrow evening about working with nightmares, that will take the place of seeing you tomorrow since we're not scheduled again until 3/19.

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Old 03-11-2021, 03:19 PM   #19
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVI

I kinda miss old T today. I am thinking about how relaxed I am about my move and how good of a mood Iíve been in these last couple days. So Iím wondering if I jumped the gun a bit with old T. But maybe Iím so relaxed because I have therapy figured out now. I donít know. Itís a bit confusing right now. I only saw new T once and I donít see her again until next Thursday. So hopefully things work out.
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Old 03-11-2021, 03:25 PM   #20
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Default Re: Dear T: I really need to tell you something XLVI

Or something, whatever.

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