What will it be like?

My old T’s clinic didn’t do in person sessions despite all the surrounding offices reopening last June. I was getting the run around non stop for 10 months about a possible reopening and she’d have specific dates but then she said that wouldn’t be happening. She did go in twice specifically for me. But I didn’t get the whole run around thing. It seemed like false promises. My new T seemed really relieved when I asked if she did in person sessions. She said yes she did.

When L started doing in-person sessions, it was one day out of the month, then one week out of the month. Now we do almost every session in-person. Except this month and May, she'll be out of town for two weeks and I have to do telehealth again. It's really hard on me going back and forth. It makes me feel really unstable.

This is a genuine question and not intended with animosity: why don't you decide the nature of the sessions and request remote sessions only? You would avoid the back and forth whilst also exerting control over your work and circumstances. Is the potential for instability preferable to remote working for you? Again, I am asking this with interest and as a way of considering my own position.

Been back face to face since the fall and face to face maskless as of last week as we are both fascinated. It was amazing to see all his facial expressions.

Merope, thanks for sharing your experiences with being back--gives me some hope! And glad you've generally had a good experience being back in person so far.


I have thought of how my T seems so much closer to me on the computer screen vs. how he'll seem in person, especially if needing to socially distance. But then, it will be nice to get the full body language (though he talks with his hands a lot, so I tended to often see them on camera).

We returned to face to face mid last year. and t later had to suddenly go away for nearly three months because of a family emergency. The benefit of having done virtual therapy was that we seamlessly reverted to virtual therapy while she was geographically distant. But true vacations - that is, true absences from work without seeing clients - still need to be taken from time to time.
Still the benefit remains that there are times where pre-pandemic we would have simply had to miss the session (or several). But now we can easily schedule on zoom and still connect in that way.

In-person sessions mean a lot to me. I guess I feel like the back and forth is worth getting to see her in-person. And I chose to also do telehealth because it's better than nothing.

Tomorrow we're actually going to try a phone session and then at the very end do telehealth so I can at least see her face. We're hoping a phone call will cause me less distress. Past experiences with phone calls have gone really well. I can connect better just listening to her voice instead of trying to read her physical cues on telehealth.

That's a good point. I did ask my T at one point whether video sessions would always continue to be an option, and he said yes. I'm thinking they could also be helpful in bad weather or if I (or T, I suppose) were feeling ill to the point of not wanting to go to the office, but still wanting to do a session. Or in a scenario like you mentioned. Or if I was on vacation but still wanted to meet with him (which I did in the summer at one point).

I do understand that he'll need to take true breaks, and I've actually been rather concerned for his well-being that he *hasn't* taken them--even if it was just to sit around his house for a week. Or drive to a cabin in the woods or something.

I'm glad you were still able to keep meeting with your T, as 3 months would have been a really long break.

Been back to in-person for a while now (therapy is treated like medical stuff here, so they try to keep it open as long as possible). I have to say, the first few times were very weird. I was happy to see T again. But I also felt like I didn't trust him the same way and didn't feel as connected as before the lockdown. But that feeling disappeared after a month or so, now it's mostly the same way it was before the pandemic - minus the masks, no handshakes and apologies whenever somebody coughs.

Before Covid hit T and I haddone a few random video sessions. Normally when I had a scheduling conflict. Every year my son had a sports banquet at the same time my appointment ended. The banquet was 5 minutes from my house. Ts office is 50 minutes. So we had video sessions on those evenings. It made transitioning much easier because T already had a doxyme account setup and we knew how to use it.

I suspect we will use it mire in the future when the weather is bad.

So, I ended up asking Dr. T about this today. He said his wife has told him that he's not allowed to return to in-person sessions until she's vaccinated, too. Though if vaccines roll out as expected, he thinks could be by May or so. That he'd request his clients also have vaccinations. That neither he nor clients would have to wear masks in session, but that he'd ask me and other clients to sit at one of the chairs at the end of the room (I normally sat on the couch, closer to his chair), so that there would be 8-10 feet of distance (he has a pretty big office).

He said he felt like he'd rather do virtual with no masks than in-person with masks, and I agreed about that. He also commented how I tend to use at least a couple tissues each session, so he imagines it might be uncomfortable for me to wear one for the whole hour, which I agreed with.

I mentioned my concerns of being really anxious the first session back in person and how I wondered if we'd have the option of, say, doing part of it in person, then if I was too anxious, I could go out to my car and we could finish on FaceTime (which probably sounds ridiculous, but...). He said he was willing to be flexible like that.

It helped to discuss it. I also said how I didn't want him to say "maybe in a few weeks" if he wasn't sure when he'd be back, then have to keep pushing it back. He said he didn't want to do that either, that he'd want to wait until closer to the time when he'd be more sure.

I also was mentioning again how I worried things would feel different. And I said, "I guess for one thing, you'll be 3-dimensional." He said, "No, actually, I'm just 2-dimensional now. Saves a lot on food and clothing." So it helped to have a little humor in there...

The only things I now know about T that I didn't before we went online are: her home office is messy, and she got married this summer.

But today I suggested that I could now, since we are talking about retirement and termination, I could ask her things I never dared ask her before, and she might reply.

I haven't started yet, but I'm hoping it's face to face. I don't have a web cam and telephone would seem like it's impersonal. Faced to face sans mask (six feet apart) is my preference, though I know that sans mask is unlikely.

I have wound clinic every week and there have been no problems. Nobody from that clinic has contracted COVID - yes, I asked!

I've realized I'm anxious about returning to in-person, which my T said he expects to happen in mid-May. He's said I always have the option of staying virtual. But I was trying to figure various reasons why returning is making me anxious (aside from having to sit more than 6 feet apart, so not in my usual seat, and also much more distanced than it seems on a computer screen; his likely not wearing his reading glasses; and it potentially feeling more intense being in the same room).

And I think I realized part of what it is. I was saying to him today how I was afraid he'd change from how he'd been since the pandemic started. And how he's been dressing more casually, and I'm concerned that when he goes back to button-down shirts all the time (he still wears them at times), dress pants, and dress shoes, he'd end up acting more formally, maybe less empathetic, etc. He said he didn't see himself changing in that way.

I've thought about it more since session. And I've realized that one difference now is that we're both sitting in our own settings. He's in his office probably 2/3 of the time, the other time at his house. But I'm always at my house, in my space. When I start seeing him in person again, I'll be on his turf, in his office. He will be in his chair, and he will dictate where I'm allowed to sit, what I'm allowed to do, how close I'm allowed to come to him. I think there may be something to that aspect. It felt more like equals talking before over the computer, but this will go back to his clearly being in charge. Does that make sense? Is anyone else thinking of that difference?

I have started therapy during the lockdown and it has been face to face without masks (I signed a form) from the start. We did online twice when I had a few symptoms of a cold, else I go to my t's office, which, to be fair, is about as far away as you could throw a stone, so to speak. I prefer f2f because I think it's easier for to read my body language and vice versa.

Besides, apparently there is a law in my country inhibiting the therapist to do the therapy from @home. So even in our online sessions, she sat in her office.

My T is fully vaxxed, and I will be as of next Tuesday. The word is f2f sessions starting in late June. Don't know why we have to wait so long after being vaccinated. But as much as I dislike teletherapy sessions, it's appointments with my pdoc that I really miss. For example, I have developed a severe tremor from my jaw out to the rest of my body. My pdoc can see my hands on camera, but not the rest of my body. So I'm left feeling like I'm not getting the proper medical treatment because she can't truly assess the situation.