Couch 226--CCXXVI Couch

I dont understand why you found it hilarious? Did you imagine someone putting on a bra while being twirled around and blindfolded? Is it an Unaluna thing?

Today was incredibly emotionally draining. H and I were supposed to go to our friends’ house for our semi regular game night. I came home after TMS and picking up dinner to pick up H. He’s worked a lot the last couple of days so he was tired and not feeling well. There was a miscommunication between the two of us that ended up with H yelling at me and berating me. I ultimately went to my friends’ house alone.

This is a couple group of friends. The man had heard from his girlfriend that there had been some issues between H and I, prior to tonight. Long story short, for my safety, my H manages my medications, but will sometimes forget to take them out. The pills are locked up and I don’t have access to the keys. I am okay with this, but it is frustrating that I have to rely on him and have no recourse if he messes up. This friend, S, was really concerned about this and basically asked if he needed to rip H a new one so that there won’t be any more issues.

The relationship between H and I is overall good, but it’s not without its issues. Talking about those issues in addition to my mental health was really taxing. I appreciate S for caring enough about me to make sure I’m well taken care of, but a lot of stuff got dredged up that I now have to deal with.

Plus both of the games we played tonight were stupid and poorly designed. At least the nachos were good.

Jesus. I get home and talk to H. Apparently the miscommunication we had earlier today is even worse than I thought. I thought he was just tired and needed some rest but apparently his chest is hurting and his left arm is bothering him. I’m forcing him to go to the ER. I want to tell myself it’s nothing, but he had a mini stroke in October 2019 and his neurologist had told him to see a cardiologist. He didn’t.

I know rationally that tonight would have gone much differently had he told me this earlier (instead of him saying I’m tired and I don’t feel well). Yet I’m beside myself upset because if something is really wrong I’m going to blame myself

Can you phone for an ambulance if he won't go in? We were always taught not to ignore chest pain.

Finally some good news. H has been approved to move up to a rehabilitation hospital next week. The goal of the rehabilitation hospital is to get him home in about two week, able to get up and down by himself, shower, walk from room to room, and manage his oxygen (he will very likely be on oxygen at home for the foreseeable future - proper lung function will probably be the last thing to return, if it ever fully returns). So maybe he'll be home by May. Here's hoping. I miss his presence in our home terribly.

Glad to hear it, Artley.

Restlessness seems to be the order of the day today. No news on my relative, and I have no end of difficulty believing the old saying 'No news is good news.'

Surprisingly rattled by R talking about how things 'used to' happen in session. I really need to believe that will come back. It seems like a non-issue, but it's bugging me.

I thought it was funny because it's the same physical action as pin the tail on the donkey--just stabbing and stabbing and stabbing until you get the right hook in the right eye. Blindfolded didn't have anything to do with it. When I think of the pin the tail on the donkey, I don't think blindfolded, I think of the utter frustration of it. (After I first encountered it at a friend's birthday party, I informed my parents it was banned from my parties.)

We weren't making fun of you.

Glad to hear, Artley.

Pin the tail on the donkey was such an apt description to capture the ridiculousness and futility of this "minimum daily requirement" of women's attempts to be socially acceptable. Reducing one's serious efforts to a child's party game.

It was just brilliant on so many levels. It was definitely a daffydungle thing, and why i want to marry you SO BAD!!!

Philanderer.

I save the occasional interesting or pretty stamp, but i wouldnt say i've made a hobby of it.

daisydid, I hope your h is ok!

well it's been 24 hours now since my 2nd covid shot, so far so good.

I've just learned there's an exercise app that measures your calories burned in slices of pizza.

It's really for bikers and runners. Maybe I should take up triathlon training again...

Hey! You promised me first!

Una's a heart-breaker...trouble-maker...in fact, she's a walking Pat Benatar song.

Philatelist...or do I mean philistine?

trigger for weight talk

The emails the university keeps sending out about the vaccine are getting more and more ridiculous.

Thanks Scarlet. I'm going to look into Noom as well.

I don't have the heart for a long, sad poem this evening for PAD Challenge, Day 10 so haiku it is!


birds chirping in tree
cat chattering, creeping near...
disappointment: flight!

(Penelope really thought she was gonna catch one of 'em earlier, but it was not to be!)

Instead of a sad poem, I think instead I will make a list of what I am grateful for.

So H and I went to the ER last night. He told the ER doctor that his chest had been bothering him for about a month. News to me! Thankfully all of the basic tests came back normal, but the doctor did recommend that he see a cardiologist for possibly a stress test.

Artie, I understand the allure of a program like that, but I would be very cautious.

Found an organization nearby that offers free support groups for victims of crime and abuse. They offer many other services such as domestic violence, crime and abuse advocates for all age groups as well as a 24 hour crisis line.
Two groups I might be interested in are “survivors of sexual assault support group” and “Boundaries support group.”

Also, the open and closed groups for domestic violence are possibilities: The description says “This group is an especially good fit for adults who are survivors of childhood abuse, multiple abusive relationships, and issues related to low self-esteem.”

The website doesn’t say how they are handling Covid restrictions. I feel it’s worth a few questions.

T is fine with it. I would still be seeing her.

Wentto bed earlyish and I woke up from a nightmare in which I ate something with gluten and knew I was going to get sick. Now I’m awake and worrying about getting sick still.

I think I’ll run my building’s back stairs till I calm down.