Couch 229 - Acetominphen and

Today's session was very hard. I am doing my best, but I am trying to learn my way out of having to feel this loss. It still freaking hurts.

R was wonderful as always, but it would be so much easier to have these conversations in person. No news as yet, as things keep getting pushed back from above.

Hugs, Lemon.

I feel so bad. Had a session with Rob at 9.30am. Have just been jumping from person to person on the phone all afternoon.

I don't know how to calm down. Desperately trying not to self harm.

Lemon

Do something nice for yourself like you're always suggesting for others. You deserve it as much as they do. Take a few minutes just to breathe.

I'm sorry you're having such an awful time, Lemon. I agree with NP that you should take some time for yourself, maybe with some music and a fuzzy blanket and scented lotion. If you're really freaking out, I recommend trying to activate the mammalian diving reflex. I can verify that it can give you almost immediate relief (although it's not terribly comfortable while you're doing it!).

I think i'll give the cold water thing a go when I get up again just been in bed crying.

Found an old photos of 12 year old me on google images if you search for my old school's website. Brings up the feels.

Edit: Tried the water thing minus the bowl. Just feel very deflated now.

HUGS Lemoncake, be kind to yourself.

Hugs, Lost. I wish I knew what to say that would help. I hope you get to go back to in person soon.

I agree with the self-care. I'm sorry you're feeling so low and I hope you feel better soon.

I wish I knew what to say to help. Please stay safe. You are a lovely person and worthy of so much care and love.

I emailed a charity that deals with crises rather then calling.

I wish I could believe you guys. I feel like I don't deserve everyone being nice to me.

Sounds dramatic but I also emailed another T asking for a crisis session.

Just got off a zoom call with the incoming and outgoing fellows at the program where I’m going to start in July. This is a big deal prestigious program that’s supposed to provide really good training and I was super excited about it… but all the current fellows spent the whole meeting talking about how the program director is terrible (rigid, chaotic, credit-stealing). WHY DID NONE OF THEM SAY THIS WHEN I INTERVIEWED THERE???

I’m so disheartened and mad and sad. I’m going to be away from my BF and my friends, have to deal with all of this moving nonsense, and now this. I am so down right now.

It doesn't sound dramatic, Cake. If you feel you need a crisis session, then you should try to arrange one.

Ugh, I'm sorry. Maybe he's not nearly as bad as they say? I agree they should have told you before, but maybe they didn't feel comfortable doing so?

I mean, maybe they didn’t feel comfortable but man would it have helped if they could have found a way to say it. She seemed great when she interviewed me over Zoom, but apparently she’s a real terror.

I did not uproot my life for a year so that I could deal with this crap.

Kind of similar example:
My ex-Pdoc was scary! She even has horrible reviews. But after a few months, I discovered that not only did she have a personality and a life, but she had a big heart. She was never squishy, lovey-dovey, etc. Her love was tough love. She was the best Pdoc I ever had. I keep in contact with her once a year.

I've had a lot of relationships with tough love type people. Especially women. I respect them, look up to them, and am honored that I get to be a part of their lives.

Please don't judge this woman before you get to know her. She might just be overly passionate about her job and/or displays tough love.

Hugs Lemon. I think you are meant to be a doctor too.

What happened to the couch title? Was there a copyright issue with the name of the other drug?

Nobody said anything, but i think it was like tempting or inflammatory? Or as catholics would say, "near occasions of sin"? It wasnt sober.

Hey Lemoncake. Hugs if wanted

No hugs on Tapatalk so take thanks as a hug?

You do absolutely deserve kindness and support.

No hugs on Tapatalk so take thanks as a hug?

Hugs, Lemon. You give amazing support to the people around you, I hope you can give it to yourself also.You are going to be a kind compassionate doctor.

I like working from home. The breaks are so much better.

garden.jpg

What have you got growing?