Couch 230: Decent Communications

ArtieTheSequal · Jul 16, 2021, 07:58 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

I don't know if anyone remembers, but when I first found out my therapist was leaving, I came up with the idea of making a kintsugi heart as a present for him. It's not intended as a romantic thing and I hope he doesn't take it that way!

I've had the supplies I needed to make it for quite a while, and I decided recently to go ahead and make it. Earlier this week was the 5th anniversary of when I started therapy with him and I decided I wanted to give it to him now instead of waiting until he's leaving. I was kind of scared to break the heart actually because I had a hard time finding one I liked on Etsy and when I did find one, they only had one and no longer had the mold. Over the last couple of days, I broke it, glued it back together and painted the seams. In that sense, it's more of a faux kintsugi I guess. I forgot to take photos when it was broken, but you'll have to trust me that it was. I also got some lovely fabric so I could wrap it up Japanese-style (furoshiki).

I really hope this isn't dumb and that he'll find it meaningful.

I think that is lovely and will be very meaningful. Very nice job.

StressedMess · Jul 16, 2021, 08:03 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

I don't know if anyone remembers, but when I first found out my therapist was leaving, I came up with the idea of making a kintsugi heart as a present for him. It's not intended as a romantic thing and I hope he doesn't take it that way!

I've had the supplies I needed to make it for quite a while, and I decided recently to go ahead and make it. Earlier this week was the 5th anniversary of when I started therapy with him and I decided I wanted to give it to him now instead of waiting until he's leaving. I was kind of scared to break the heart actually because I had a hard time finding one I liked on Etsy and when I did find one, they only had one and no longer had the mold. Over the last couple of days, I broke it, glued it back together and painted the seams. In that sense, it's more of a faux kintsugi I guess. I forgot to take photos when it was broken, but you'll have to trust me that it was. I also got some lovely fabric so I could wrap it up Japanese-style (furoshiki).

I really hope this isn't dumb and that he'll find it meaningful.

Turned out amazing!

Sent from my SM-N950U using Tapatalk

NP_Complete · Jul 16, 2021, 08:05 PM

All wrapped up. Next session is tomorrow morning. I guess I'm going to give it to him then. I don't know why I'm so nervous about this.

LonesomeTonight · Jul 16, 2021, 08:05 PM

I agree that it is lovely and meaningful (I thought those words before reading Artie's post). I hope your T understands the meaning behind it and is touched by it. When do you plan to give it to him?

Incidentally, one of my favorite bands, Death Cab for Cutie, has an album titled Kintsugi.

ArtieTheSequal · Jul 16, 2021, 08:24 PM

Oooh my phone just beeped an "Imminent severe weather" warning. I think that monsoon is my favorite time of year.

unaluna · Jul 16, 2021, 08:38 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

Oooh my phone just beeped an "Imminent severe weather" warning. I think that monsoon is my favorite time of year.

We see cars being swept away in your state! Ours just get stuck trying to go thru underpasses on the freeways.

unaluna · Jul 16, 2021, 08:41 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by NP_Complete

All wrapped up. Next session is tomorrow morning. I guess I'm going to give it to him then. I don't know why I'm so nervous about this.

Its gorgeous.

ArtieTheSequal · Jul 16, 2021, 08:48 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

We see cars being swept away in your state! Ours just get stuck trying to go thru underpasses on the freeways.

Yes, it happens. Too many times it's people driving around the 'road closed' signs thinking it's a good idea to drive through a flooding wash. The problem is that even if you think you know the road because it's one you drive every day, under all that rushing water sometimes chunks of the road wash away and then a tire goes clunk down into a hole and they can't steer anymore and get sideways in the water and swept away. It's scary but mostly preventable if you don't drive down into flooded washes! I won't be too judgemental though because I know there's roads that flood unexpectedly where there are no washes. That stuff you can't really help. What I just hate is when I see someone drive around one of the many road closed signs. We have lots of usually-dry washes around town that flood every year, that's what they're for, to keep the water from flooding other things, and the city always puts up big road closed signs.

ArtieTheSequal · Jul 16, 2021, 08:51 PM

I have a bit of a therapy hangover, despite it being an overall good session. There were a couple of elements though that brought on the hangover. I think I'm going to go watch baseball with h.

ScarletPimpernel · Jul 16, 2021, 08:59 PM

I have pre-birthday jitters! My birthday isn't until next weekend, but my sister is planning a surprise for me. And it's intriguing and scary because it somehow involves L! I can't think of what my sister is possibly doing or how L can even be involved. I'm nervous too because what if I don't react the way they hope I react? I'm not the type of person to show outward excitement. And my dad says I'm going to cry. I am a cryer, but not normally for happy things.

Everyone including L says this is a good thing. So I am looking forward to it. And I also just wish I could simply spend time with them and make my favorite meal (which I am).

I think part of my jitters is that I just don't have good birthdays. Normally they are really bad or just okay.

CantExplain · Jul 16, 2021, 10:18 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

I'm in a quandary again though (my most predictable pattern, which I see clear as day) as I was getting ready to leave I was overcome with this sudden emotion that I didn't think showed on my face but she felt it anyway and said so, I told her yes, there's something I suddenly want to say but I'll just write it down when I get home. She said something like "You can hold it."

I wonder if doorknob therapy could be turned into a force for good. T says, "Time's up". Patient says, "I just thought of something." T says, "Only joking. You have fifteen more minutes."

Farewells are powerful triggers. It seems a pity to waste them.

Quietmind 2 · Jul 16, 2021, 10:52 PM

Gorgeous gift, NP.

Daffydungle · Jul 16, 2021, 11:02 PM

I have been watching bear cams and i always thought that they edited the wildlife docos to only show bears catching salmon as they leap out of the water. Turns out bears just stand there and wait for the salmon to jump into their mouths.

WarmFuzzySocks · Jul 17, 2021, 01:06 AM

NP, that is lovely.

unaluna · Jul 17, 2021, 03:04 AM

I read that as "watching beer cans" and i felt a little less alone...

ArtieTheSequal · Jul 17, 2021, 03:12 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

I wonder if doorknob therapy could be turned into a force for good. T says, "Time's up". Patient says, "I just thought of something." T says, "Only joking. You have fifteen more minutes."

Farewells are powerful triggers. It seems a pity to waste them.

I'm wide awake at 1 am and thinking about all of this and can't go back to sleep. But I'm getting closer to putting words to what I was feeling; I'm coming to an uncomfortable understanding about something.

But you're right, I mean it's obviously a 'thing', doorknob confessions or whatever, so why do they act all surprised and stuff? Instead of figuring out a way to work with them. I'm just glad I didn't go all petulant teenager on her (like I've done in the past).

CantExplain · Jul 17, 2021, 03:26 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal

But you're right, I mean it's obviously a 'thing', doorknob confessions or whatever, so why do they act all surprised and stuff? Instead of figuring out a way to work with them. I'm just glad I didn't go all petulant teenager on her (like I've done in the past).

I can think of no reason why they should be surprised. It ought to be part of their training!

ArtieTheSequal · Jul 17, 2021, 03:34 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

I can think of no reason why they should be surprised. It ought to be part of their training!

Agreed! I was probably projecting as usual though and she likely was not surprised at all.

ArtieTheSequal · Jul 17, 2021, 03:39 AM

I hate that I can't sleep. My session today was overall a good one, so I'm not sure why I'm feeling so perturbed over her and therapy in general right now.

ArtieTheSequal · Jul 17, 2021, 03:43 AM

Welp I'm gonna go back to bed and try to get back to sleep.

atisketatasket · Jul 17, 2021, 06:56 AM

Quote:

Originally Posted by CantExplain

I wonder if doorknob therapy could be turned into a force for good. T says, "Time's up". Patient says, "I just thought of something." T says, "Only joking. You have fifteen more minutes."

Lacan wouldn’t tell clients how long the session was—3 minutes, 15 minutes, 50 minutes? So they had to spit it out.

Insurance companies would hate that, of course.

unaluna · Jul 17, 2021, 08:19 AM

Re doorknob confessions - they probably to not want to positively (or worse, intermittently) reinforce this behavior. They try to extinguish it.

LonesomeTonight · Jul 17, 2021, 08:49 AM

Dr. T is just used to my doorknob confessions--well, they're more like 10 minutes left confessions. Sometimes it's like I'm building up to say something all session, and then I'm looking at the time and thinking "OK, better spit it out now!" I've mostly gotten better at it. Though yesterday I waited to bring up his going out of town until we had about 10 minutes left because I had other things I wanted to discuss and knew I'd get all emotional with the vacation part. I figured I'd get emotional at the end of session anyway, so why not put it all together? Plus how much was there really for me to say (OK, apparently more than I'd expected...).

Artie, I imagine your T wasn't surprised or upset by it. Could you maybe reach out to her if it's bothering you that much?

LostOnTheTrail · Jul 17, 2021, 12:08 PM

Couch parents - would you consider 5 days a reasonable time frame to submit work for an extra-curricular project? (I should have sent an email reminder a couple of days ago, but forgot until this morning.) I'm expecting some....friction as a result of this.

CantExplain · Jul 17, 2021, 01:23 PM

Quote:

Originally Posted by unaluna

Re doorknob confessions - they probably to not want to positively (or worse, intermittently) reinforce this behavior. They try to extinguish it.

So the patient goes away unsatisfied and broods for a week and constructs a false narrative. The chance to talk about the raw and present feeling is lost.

P.S. One of the tragedies of therapy is the feelings you get when you can't talk about them.

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