Couch 235: Home State Advantage

I think I would err on the side of not disclosing mental health issues/diagnoses in the work environment or be very, very choosy about who you share it with. It seems like the potential for negative outcomes outweighs the need to tackle stigma. I feel like that is something that needs to be addressed on a more societal level first. If you want to fight against stigma, it seems safer to do it in your personal life where there's no risk to your livelihood. Just my opinion.

Honestly, schools don't consider you recording hostile. It's all pretty routine - and recording in these days of virtual meetings is pretty common.

The only time I've been aware of contention in IEP meetings was with a few situations where parents had previously set up a pattern of true hostility and outright abuse of the system. It happens, but I highly doubt that is your situation.

Glad the meeting went well. Went through years of them myself with our daughter - I understand the anxiety from the parent end, but I also understand the routineness from the educational end. I know it feels like they focus on deficits, but remember, the goal of these meetings is to ultimately target those deficits with accommodations and perhaps modifications so that each student can make gains and find success in their education. We have to address those deficits in order to address the required services needed. Also, there are realities in the school and classroom that educators have to work with that sometimes parents just don't realize are part of the equation, and part of the IEP meeting is addressing how to best meet the needs of each student within the boundaries of staffing, funding, time limitations, teacher-student ratios, legal requirements, etc., etc. etc. It can feel us vs. them, but it's more of a situation of what can be done in the reality of all of those moving parts vs what could be done if all of our wishes could come true without those realities that just have to be worked with and around. We hope to meet somewhere in the middle.

Oh that sounds good! both the chicken and the zucchini fries. My favorite thing to air fry is bacon, it's perfect every time unlike when I used to fry it on the stove. And much less of a mess!

You have inspired me to go to the store after work and get some chicken, I have a recipe I've been wanting to try.

Thanks Lemoncake,

I have started spending money on myself in a few ways. I signed up for Sketchbox which is a monthly subscription of art supplies and I also got a Lokai membership where every month you get a new Lokai bracelet and other benefits like 10% off at their website and exclusives and stuff like that. I also signed up for Britbox after wanting to do it for some time so I can have British TV available 24/7 especially now that my parents cable provider does not carry BBC America on our plan.

I've cut back some of my giving this year so I could do a few other things like support my sister more (Charity begins at home) and get my niece who is suffering from severe anxiety and also depression a subscription to Sketchbox to try to help her work out her feelings in an art medium. (She likes art.)


So I think I am making some progress.


Thanks so much! HUGS Kit

Ordinarily I would agree with you and this is the first job that I have been so open with my mental health issues. The situation was sort of forced two years ago when I was first hospitalized in the psych hospital and I had to let several people know in management what was up with me. The coworker that I addressed yesterday is not my direct supervisor but she is in a supervisory role and as the owners already know of my condition and tell me I do a good job here and stuff like that I am not too concerned for the safety of my job. But yeah, I don't go around telling everyone at work. But I had already told this supervisor why I was taking 4.5 days off of work and found her lack of empathy disturbing to me. She hasn't responded and I doubt she will but maybe it will give her something to think about. I probably could have lived with leaving it alone but something in me felt like I needed to speak up. I might regret it later but what is done is done. Only can learn from this exchange and move on. HUGS Kit

It's my T's birthday today. I am trying to decide if it is weird I know this.


Yesterday I was supposed to have an appointment with T. She texted me about a half hour before saying she didn't feel well and needed to cancel. No big deal. She was upfront in the beginning about having health problems.


Today I texted her and said that I hoped she felt better and that I prescribed warm tea, fuzzy socks, warm sweater, good book, mystery movie, and snuggling with her dogs.


She got back to me and said that was a perfect prescription because today is her birthday. So of course I texted her back and wished her a happy birthday.


If this was a friend it wouldn't be weird. But everything is different through the therapy lens. It's like did she want me to wish her happy birthday, is that why she told me? The disclosure is nice sometimes I just don't know always what to do with it. I would have felt like a heel if I didn't wish her happy birthday. But like I have never known a T's birthdate before. I knew long term T's birth month and that she was a twin but that's about it. What if she expects me to remember next year? Ack!


Now we are having issues rescheduling the time. ::stressful::

My Doctor's office got back to me and told me to take 325 mg Iron twice a day. She didn't say for how long but my next appointment is in June so I guess I will do it until then and then ask her about it. She still hasn't straightened out the BP meds. UGH!!

I feel like I should send T a birthday present because I know it is her birthday today. Y'know like something on text. Text gift card or something. But I know T's are weird about gifts. But it's like I'm not fully acknowledging her birthday. I think it would be better if I didn't know.

I think it's enough that you sent birthday greetings, Kit. I doubt she'll expect you to remember next year. You definitely don't need to get her a gift. HUGS.

Thanks! It's definitely awkward. I struggle socially anyway so it's like, what's the protocol?!!


HUGS Kit

I agree with all this. She may not feel comfortable receiving gifts, too. If you really want, you could get her a card to give her next session, though I wouldn't include a gift card in there or anything.

I hope you're able to reschedule soon.

Thanks, LT. We are just doing phone calls right now (her dentures are still at the dentists so we aren't even doing Zoom) so I can't really get her a card. The text message is going to have to suffice. Although I have her email so I could do an ecard maybe. I think we have settled on Saturday. Now we just need a time. This back and forth is killing me. I'm like just set something up, that isn't in the AM because I volunteer then.

L and I do not gift on birthdays or holidays, but we gift any other time without expectations. There is a max limit of 10% of a session fee. We do acknowledge each other's birthdays, and she'll put up a little paper flower string decoration for mine, but that's it.

Glad tha IEP session were well, LT.

If it helps, I'm not religious but give money in mutual aid groups even though I shouldn't.

Regarding iron deficiency (low iron saturation), I upped how much dark leafy greens I eat. I hate pork liver but I hear a bit of it once in a while is good. I eat more red meat when I can. Dark parts of a chicken, pork. Beef if I can afford it.

My iron supplement comes with Vit C, to help absorption. Vit B12 and folic acid can also help.
Iron-Vit C-Vit B12-Folic Acid Oral: Uses, Side Effects, Interactions, Pictures, Warnings & Dosing - WebMD

I avoid caffeine and calcium for 2 hours before and after I take my iron supplement. I prefer to take it right before I go to bed, with plain water.

Thanks, QM!

I am not a doctor (not that kind of doctor, anyway), but that seems like a whopping dose of iron. Maybe check with your doctor or a pharmacist on what form of iron they mean? Because WebMD says that high doses of iron are toxic and the maximum safe limit for adults is 45 mg per day.

But it's 325 mg of an iron supplement, not 335 mg iron. I am anaemic and was taking 322 mg per day of ferrous fumarate which is a fairly standard dose (and only a fraction of that is actual iron).

What amount of a drug you should take depends on the exact medication you're taking as well as your circumstances. However, that being said with iron, keep in mind that it's not well absorbed by the body if taken orally. It was found that about 1/3 of the amount is actually absorbed. But even then, if you are in need of iron supplementation, which should be assessed via blood work, then taking more than the recommended daily intake is necessary if it is to fix, taking more than recommended for a short time is fine. You first need to fix the deficit before balancing on that new value. You should not exceed about 20 mg/kg of body weight, 60 mg/kg can be a danger to your life. 20 mg/kg * 50 kg = 100 mg, which you need to multiply by about 3 to get about 300, this will depend both on body weight as well as the exact absorption rate. It's a high dose but should be fine if monitored by a doctor.


There are side effects to taking it, at least I experienced some. I had stomach pain, couldn't drink any caffeine without getting diarrhea and felt sick a few times, this was on a rather low dose. Also, the most important thing to know is your stool turns black, which normally should be an immediate sign to go to the doctor. Sorry for TMI.

(Small disclaimer my mom is a pharmacist so I have gotten used to medication quite a bit)

Also, side note, if you take it with Vitamin C (I always washed mine down with orange juice), and on an empty stomach, this will increase absorption, but whether you actually want to do that in your exact case is best discussed with your doctor.

And I'd check back with your doctor for how long she'd want you to take it. Normally, it should last for maybe 8 weeks max. After that she should at least check your blood levels. Else you'll get in the territory where you have enough iron already and you shouldn't have to take it any longer, at least not a lot of it. Else there might be an underlying cause, if the levels are still off.

Edit: and apparently if you don't have enough B12 (relevant especially if you're vegan), then you might not manage to retain the iron. So, if that's a possibility maybe get that checked out as a side note.

And regarding the tea, it might actually play a role in this, since tea contains a lot of tannins, which hinders iron intake. Maybe that's good to check in with with your pharmacist or doctor too?

Wow, thanks all for the comments, suggestions regarding the iron.


My Dad found me an over the counter supplement that said 325 ferrous something I don't remember but the actual dose of iron in it is much much lower so I think that is what the doctor meant. My doctor sucks at getting back to me unless I make an appointment but I do have an appointment in June which I am going to request another test for iron to see if I am still anemic then. I had trouble with anemia when I was quite a young child probably due to Mal-nutrition (we were quite poor) but that is not the case now so while I don't know what is causing it I am okay with trying the supplement because I don't think I will get enough through my diet alone. I do eat a lot of broccoli and spinach but I am obviously not eating enough if I am still having a pretty low iron count.


My Dad said to take one pill a day for like a week to see how I tolerate it before I take two pills a day. I detest orange juice but I have read that it is best if taken with vitamin C so I am going to buy some oranges (I don't mind oranges, I just don't like the juice) and try to have like half an orange with the pill or something since the bottle says "take with food." I will check with my pharmacist about the tea or my pdoc because I see both of them before I see my GP again. I can't imagine life without my tea. I know my Dad has to dilute his down quite a bit and I like really strong tea both hot and iced. I don't remember why my Dad had to dilute his down but that is something I might have to start doing as well. The doctor didn't say anything about foods to take with it or foods to avoid so I'll talk to the pharmacist and see what she says.


Thanks everyone for your care. HUGS if wanted, Kit

Pineapple has more vitamin C than oranges! Strawberries and broccoli too, taking it with foods like that might help too.

Thanks, I didn't know that!

If you don't want something sweet, bell peppers (green, red, etc.) also have lots of vitamin C. I mainly know this because guinea pigs don't produce their own vitamin C (just like people), so I have to give them a source daily. Peppers are the main suggested option (helps that they like them!)

Thanks LT!