Couch 238: Appreciating Small Progress Couch

I am exhausted, but I don't know how to rest.

Mine locks itself when I walk away with the key in my pocket and beeps like crazy if it can't lock automatically. I would have to go out of my way to leave it unlocked.

[QUOTE=unaluna;7236494]A, im agreeing with you.
2, why dont people lock their cars? The manufacturers keep making it easier. Its a push button now! Or maybe, HOW? How can they do it? My dominion does not extend that far.[/QUOTE

A. didnt understand what you were saying.

2. I think some people think they shouldn't have to because other people shouldn't take their stuff. But sorry it upset you so much. I'll admit that I don't always lock the car Because I don't think about it. when I remember I do

Where I live, anyone who doesn't lock the car will have stuff stole, sometimes even the car itself getting stole, if it's a car that's worth much

It's why it's best to get second hand car, not brand new, less likely to get stole

Thanks all!

I also believe that most parents are really trying to do the best they can with what they know at the time. And They don't always get it right but I don't think it is because they didn't want to. They often didn’t have the awareness, access to information or knowledge that we have now and even now having all that can be overwhelming to navigate. BUT having the best intentions does mean that they did not harm you or cause you trauma that negatively impacts your life as an adult.

My parents for example have caused me tremendous amounts of trauma. Were they good people who were trying to do a good job yes. My mother for example had her own trauma and pain and didn’t realise the damage her actions were to me but they were and I am
Still Living with and trying to heal from the ramifications of that today.

Do I think their actions greatly cause most of my trauma? Yes but I can also understand the why. Knowing they meant well doesn’t take away from the fact that they didn’t. It does help me forgive them .

My mother loved me a lot as a child (still does). I was even her favourite. She would never have intentionally harmed me, but harm me she did nonetheless - very much so. I was emotionally neglected and spent a lot of time by myself.

It sounds very contradictory and just shows how complex trauma can really be. I was her 'good girl' and never really felt a child.

Even now my mother texts me many times a day and is deeply attached to me. I know I'm still her favourite.

And yet I've spent years in therapy trying to cope with how messed up my upbringing was, to the point I wasn't even 'allowed' to speak to my father who lived in the same house as us, and I was lulled into secrets about who else lived there.

I don't doubt that my mother did the best she could with what she knew and the situation we were in, but there's also no doubt that she traumatised me and I have had to live with that all my life.

I'll chime in too xD I think lots of parents want to do the right thing, and might even know what to do, but it's still very hard. Everyone has their own story, own issues and own things going on. Being a parent means to some degree putting all that on the backburner, but to do it correctly so that it's neither too much nor too little, I'm not sure it's doable for most people... Even if you do everything right, suddenly there's an accident, an illness, anything at all... I don't think most people are ill-intentioned towards their own children, although there's certainly that kind of person as well.

Hugs and head nods all around as appropriate. It's monsoon-ing here right now so I'm only here for a minute, not staying on my computer too long - lots of lightening today!

Tagalog.

I was hampered in my parenting by my ex who refused to come to any parenting classes and undid most the work i was trying to do by threatening physical violence. Yelling and thumping walls got the kids to do things but they have anxiety disorders as i result. We were all terrified of him.

Clearly I am in the minority but I still think that there needs to be more bucking up and less gooey whining. I am gearing up for the fall version of mollycoddling and pc idiocy well-meaning perhaps, but entirely misguided garbage that will not prepare these people to be attorneys or frankly even humans who can handle life.

Im learning it from watching 90 Day Fiancé.

In my view, people who have been able to face the limitations of their parents and the deep emotional pain that can come with it, who have tried to forgive and/or move forward in whatever form that looks like to them, who perhaps deal with becoming parents knowing how limited they themselves are and all the love and pain this brings, show a huge amount of courage and ability to handle what it means to be human.

They may not make attorneys, no, but then not everyone would want to be. But humans - yes - as being human in my opinion is all about living with the beautiful mess that we are.

I haven’t had time this summer to even start preparing for classes. But yeah, not looking forward to certain types of students. Also after the first seven months of this year for me I am less inclined towards sympathy. If I can be doing my job given all that, so can they.

Behold, a sentence that ignores the apostrophe while including the acute accent.

You never cease to amaze me.

I'm guessing you mean the students who mess around and don't want to learn?

The one surviving school report of mine says I was eager to please the adults

With hindsite, I'm wondering if it was how I was being treated by others, at school and at home

Bullying and physical abuse meant I learned shut down mode, which has stayed with me all these years

I actually think most of the students can handle it if the administration and the touchy feeling do good Social workers/or whoever they are in the administration that does this sort of crap would stop Trying to convince them that they are victims of some thing and to keep whining and needing to be cuddled. One of my big concerns is how they seem to try and talk students into thinking they can't handle things on their own.

I agree that different views make the world go round. And all the people that I teach are in Law School, so presumably they do want to be attorneys.

I sure hope they're not like social workers in my part of the world where young adults who endured CSA or faced life threatening violence gets asked why don't they go back to their family and reconcile.

Where administration thinks people with C/PTSD are just whining and weak.

i'm confused now, stopdog, if a student has actual disagnosed mental health problems, are you saying they cannot try and become something they want to be?

I am a pretty mushy person, and I've noticed there are a lot of young folk who haven't developed a lot of resilience, flexibility, or self-advocacy skills (at least ones that go beyond saying "I have a problem" and into responsibility for identifying and pursuing solutions).