Couch 242: madam i'm adam

Quote:

Originally Posted by Polibeth Ugh - the plague has visited our household. My son and I tested positive for COVID. Husband is at work and hasn't come home yet (he probably doesn't want to). No way to isolate from each other as we live in a small apartment with one bathroom. The good news is that we don't feel too terribly bad.

Oh, no! I hope you have light cases that leave quickly.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal ...I'm just dissatisfied overall in being married anyway anymore... it's like we're both miserable and neither of us can see a way out of the misery. I don't know what to do.

You very much have my sympathy. I'm in the same rotten situation, and have been for far too long. I never wanted to be married, just wanted children, and I so regret that I ignored my gut feeling and got married. But back then, having children without being married was taboo.

Oh gosh, I'm sorry, I hope you're all feeling better soon!!

Thanks all my pocket riders. My second appointment with my new potential T, K, went well. We talked about the anxiety and panic. Some of her ideas would be difficult for me to implement. But I am going to implement a few of them and see if they work. I also brought up talking to my pdoc to see if there is a longer lasting anxiety medicine that he can prescribe because I am worried about dependence on Xanax. She thought that was good since I don't see him until April 19th. So I sent him a message through the portal. I can't keep having 5 or 6 panic attacks a day. It's just not feasible to me. Way too stressful. She liked the stuff I am already doing, deep breathing, box breathing, using different senses, cold water. She suggested warm baths, protein for the nausea, and keeping a log or journal of when I have a panic attack, or a lot of anxiety so we can try to figure out what is causing it. We both thought I should also take a mental health day off of work soon too. Not sure when I will do that but I think I need to do it soon.

Also new potential T, K, said to feel free to text her to reach out and let her know how I am. That's nice. I got a better sense for her today.

Kit, have you tried ginger for the nausea? They even make ginger lozenges. Women who have morning sickness often use them.

Nausea often accompanies my anxiety. L and I use sugar free peppermint candies and breathing to help with mine.

I'll have to look into it.

Ugh, I'm sorry. I hope you both feel better soon and that your husband is spared. If you sleep in a different room (one of you in bedroom and one in living room maybe?) and mask up most of the time you're awake and both home, there's a chance he could avoid it. Though the one-bathroom thing makes it more difficult as of course you can't shower or brush your teeth with a mask on.

For anxiety, you could also try magnesium (magnesium glycinate doesn't have the same, er, GI effects that the citrate form does) and L-theanine, which is a supplement (though maybe check with your doctor first on that one--magnesium should be fine).

Vitamin B6 (that one separately) can help with nausea, as can various antihistamines, including Zyrtec (or the more sleep-inducing ones like Unisom, Dramamine, or Benadryl). And sniffing peppermint oil can help, too, or putting a bit on the back of your neck (keep it away from your eyes!)

Thanks, LT!

Hugs, Artie. I'm not sure what time the drum circle is your time, but if you're fine with an online one, maybe see if you can find one on the East Coast or even, say, Europe that would fit better with your sleep schedule? Or one on the weekend.

Is staying in an unhappy marriage less frightening than doing something else? My sibling and his spouse sound like this - both are miserable, sibling is insanely depressed and talks about wishing he had not been born, and yet for whatever - the idea of doing something different is less palatable than staying in a miserable place hoping the other person will change. Leaving someone is not fun or easy -but I have found it better than staying with someone I no longer am happy being with - not little glitches but basic it isn't working sort of thing. You cannot change someone else. And I don't even think it would be a good idea if possible. Everyone gets to be responsible for themselves and their own choices.

I see my doctor again on Friday, because I need a referral to rheumatology. They don’t think it is plantar fasciitis now. But, I can NOT keep being in constant pain. I’m on like week 6 or 7. I am terrified that she won’t prescribe anything, like an opioid because of potential addiction problems. Except, I feel like that is what is needed, because the 4 anti-inflammatory lies i’ve tried haven’t worked. So far the cortisone injection
hasn’t helped.

I don’t know what I will do if I keep feeling like this.
I already sobbed on the phone with my therapist last night because I was panicking and feeling extremely alone. She helped calm me down in the moment.
But tonight, back to the same thing. It is endless and I can not see a way out.

Hugs, Velcro. I hope the doctor is willing to give you something. I wonder if a medication that's more targeted toward nerve pain could help? If he could prescribe something? I know there are on-label meds that do that (can't think of the names), but Cymbalta, a psych med, can also be used to help with nerve pain. As maybe it's about the nerves rather than inflammation?

Velcro, im sorry you are having pain. My abdominal pain is better sometimes, but while i am in the midst of it, boy life is not worth it. I hope they can resolve your foot.

Could it be a structural issue? Ten years ago or so, i got a new pair of boots that made me twist my knee when i walked, and they told me i would need ACL surgery. Then a random lady ortho dr showed up at my PT one day and yanked my leg and i was healed. But before that it felt like a pit bull was clamped around my knee and yeah the drs thought i was drug-seeking. I waz like, you cant send me outa here with nothing, at least give me crutches you mofos.

Thinking of you.

I have had more luck with marijuana (legal in my state) and kratom than with opiates for inflammation/arthritis pain

When you were doing that CBT-related work therapy last year, one of the lessons that really seemed to impress you was that you should recognize the reality of your life, instead of trying to be hide it from yourself. Because, frankly, that's like papering over a hole in the wall. It doesn't help you, and in fact it hurts you, because then you're living a lie and you're sensitive to the fakeness of it.

So, recognize you're miserable. Stop trying to happy-attitude it away because you think it's what you should do or it's who you want to be. Only then can you know what to do.

My advice, anyway.

In the mid 2000's I started having, for lack of a better descriptor, butt pain. I usually said hip pain, but really it was butt, not hip. but it was a deep kind of pain, like near the bones. I was in school at the time so I went to the school health clinic. I think they thought I was nuts or something. They had no idea what was wrong. Bone scan showed nothing. Put me on dexamethasone which was like going on a big, nightmarish mood roller coaster. The pain was unbearable. Every time I sat down it was like this mega intense cramp in my butt for about 15 minutes. Every time I stood up same thing. I remember one time trying to get into my car and I couldn't pick my leg up to get it into the car and just sat there sobbing with my car door open for the whole world to see. I was miserable. I wasn't sure if I could continue living with this level of pain. Finally found my way to a pain clinic and they did a series of corticosteroid injections into like the sacral area under some light sedation using x-ray guidance. They didn't know what they were fixing, but that fixed it. (I'm pretty certain now that it was piriformis syndrome that was irritating my sciatic nerve.)

I know this is tough for you right now. I understand sobbing because you can't take the pain anymore. Give these doctors a chance. Hopefully they'll figure something out for you and relief will be coming soon. Tell them how bad you're hurting. If they think you're drug-seeking, so be it. You know you're not and there's no shame in wanting some relief from pain. You may have to be more proactive about this than you want to be. If they're not helping you, push to see someone else.

Thanks everyone. That is good advice, NP.

Stop dog-I do have some vape carts of marijuana. Haven’t even thought to try that, so thanks!

Thanks @@. Yes, I remember that and I'm trying to find my notebook where I took notes during each call. Apparently, I don't have access to the app I'd used anymore which is a bummer because it was helpful. When I saw L last week we talked a good bit about that - accepting things as they are instead of whatever exact opposite thing I do.

It sounds so matter of fact and obvious when you say it - like it should be as easy as flipping a switch (there I go again, with my "how it should be" thing) - but of course it isn't. Nothing worth it is easy, right? Maybe that's why I posted earlier that I'm miserable. My job, my marriage, etc. I'm just going to have to keep writing it and seeing it in writing until I can fully recognize and accept it and then ****ing do something about it. I appreciate your thoughts.

Husband is being a jerk about son and my positive COVID tests. He screams at us every time we leave our rooms (even if it's to go to the bathroom).....but he hasn't tested himself yet. He just keeps yelling that he'll die if he gets it (he's fully vaccinated). The man doesn't handle illness well but he's taking this to a whole new level. Will be a long 5 days or so. Don't mind me if I hang out on the couch more

I'm late to the discussion but probably 10 years ago or something I can't recall exactly I started having terrible pain in one heel/foot. Every morning when I first woke up, I couldn't walk my foot hurt so much, until I stretched it and stuff. I went to a podiatrist and she took xrays and found that I have a bone spur on my right heel. I ended up getting custom orthotic inserts that were molded for my feet, but I had to wear one of those big boot things for a couple weeks I think it was at first, I wore it at night during the day all the time it kept my foot/ankle immobilized. I had to ease into wearing the orthotics, but very quickly they helped. I can't wear anything but tennis shoes with the inserts or flip flops/sandals with a good arch support, and I'm not supposed to ever go barefoot which is a challenge for me. She told me I could no longer wear heels or even flats - had to get a dr's note for work to be allowed to wear tennis shoes while I was still in office - but the inserts solved the problem for the most part. Every now and then if I do a lot of hiking or something, the bone spur will start hurting, and I wear the boot for one or two nights and the pain clears up. I'm thankful I didn't have to have surgery - the foot dr said they try to avoid that with the inserts and the boot. I'm suprised my inserts are still working - she said they last around 5 years and I've had them twice that long I think.

I hope that they are able to get to the bottom of whatever is causing your pain and that it can be remedied as easily and quickly as possible.

I'm so sorry, Polibeth. Hugs if wanted. I think your H and my H should get together and go bowling. (Breakfast Club reference, I love that movie). My h doesn't handle illness well either.

Ugh, I'm sorry. I mean, for all he knows, you and your son got it from him! It doesn't make sense that he's so worried yet won't test himself. And if he's that worried, then find somewhere else to stay for a bit (not that many friends would probably be like, "Oh, you were just exposed to Covid? Sure, come stay with me!") Don't know if the cost of a motel or something is feasible. For him, not you and your son--you deserve the comforts of home when you're sick.

Yes - it sounds like they should! Sorry yours is being a pain too!