Couch 242: madam i'm adam

Exactly! I have no idea why he hasn't tested yet. I'm sure his work doesn't want him to go there either having 2/3 of the household with it. What's he going to do- yell at us the next 5 days? And I have heard him coughing too.

If he is that worked up about it - he could go to a hotel or a friend's house

It does sound like he needs to test since he’s developing symptoms. He’s scared. It’s understandable, but he doesn’t need to be yelling at you. Encourage him to test and if negative perhaps find a place to stay for a few days if he’s trying to do what he can to remain safe. Perhaps calling his doctor and getting advice might settle him down? Chances are he’s positive (tests aren’t terribly accurate in the first few days so he may need to repeat the test a few times.) If he is fully vaccinated, even if he gets Covid, it should be pretty mild. Hope you get through the next few days relatively unscathed.

I hate my doctors. I just had my second appointment with the new pdoc. I asked him for more Ativan for emergencies. He refused. He's putting me on Vistaril instead...I've taken that before and it's done nothing for me. *sigh* He told me first appointment he would prescribe me my benzos and now he won't. I don't know what I'm going to do in a crisis. He told me if trauma work is too difficult for me, to stop and work on my skills. Such b.s.

Ugh. I feel for you. When I was IP last they gave me Vistaril. It did absolutely nothing. Even more ludacris, they gave me Vistaril and tylenol for my migraine. About four or five times. I was like, I really need my prescribed migraine medication. Finally two days in, I got it. By then I was so sick. I don't know what they were thinking.

I like Ativan too. It is definitely helpful. I haven't asked my T for ativan but I was on Xanax for a while but I have been having panic attacks frequently. 5 or 6 times a day. So he is switching me to Klonopin which is supposed to last longer in the system. We'll see. I really hope it helps.

In the meantime, I am supposed to try to track my panic attacks and what leads up to them. I'm baffled. I am writing down what I know but I don't see a reason for having them. I do have an anxiety disorder and I wonder if that is causing them. But maybe it's supposed to be something more than that. I don't know.

I don't know why more doctors won't trust their patients and give them what they know will help them. So sorry you are in this situation, Scarlet. HUGS kit

I have Ativan and Klonopin. They're basically the same just Klonopin is long lasting. For a crisis, I use Ativan. For an anxiety producing situation that is going to last hours or even days (like when I moved), then I use Klonopin.

I hope the Klonopin helps, Kit!

I wish I could feel better emotionally, at least for a little while.

I need to bite the bullet and send soon to be former T an email explaining that I won't be seeing her anymore. I don't know if that will make me feel better or worse. Plus she is hurt right now. She has staples in her head. Feels wrong to abandon her at a time like this. Still I got more out of the session with potentially new T, K yesterday than I have the last several months with soon to be former T.

Quote:

Originally Posted by stopdog Is staying in an unhappy marriage less frightening than doing something else? My sibling and his spouse sound like this - both are miserable, sibling is insanely depressed and talks about wishing he had not been born, and yet for whatever - the idea of doing something different is less palatable than staying in a miserable place hoping the other person will change. Leaving someone is not fun or easy -but I have found it better than staying with someone I no longer am happy being with - not little glitches but basic it isn't working sort of thing. You cannot change someone else. And I don't even think it would be a good idea if possible. Everyone gets to be responsible for themselves and their own choices.

Sometimes (in my case) there's a financial situation that's complex. For example, VA benefits, inheritance. Then too, I know a couple who live in the same house but are legally divorced. One spouse has one part of the house, the other spouse has the other part. Creative and mature thinking.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ScarletPimpernel I hate my doctors. I just had my second appointment with the new pdoc. I asked him for more Ativan for emergencies. He refused. He's putting me on Vistaril instead...I've taken that before and it's done nothing for me. *sigh* He told me first appointment he would prescribe me my benzos and now he won't. I don't know what I'm going to do in a crisis. He told me if trauma work is too difficult for me, to stop and work on my skills. Such b.s.

I am so, so sorry. What a sh-ithead. Vistaril. Please. Useless allergy medication. And oh, how they can lie! Say something, then either go back on it or deny they ever said it. Pdocs

Have you ever been on gabapentin for anxiety?

Yes, I've been on Gabapentin for knee pain. It caused me bad memory issues. I could barely remember sessions. Sometimes I couldn't even follow a conversation, it was that bad.

Anyone have a tens device at home that they would recommend? I've been going to physical therapy for my shoulder pain (which actually stems from my neck being all messed up but the shoulder is what hurts) since September. First they were doing some sort of ultrasound thing, and massage, and traction. Then I kept complaining that my shoulder is what hurts. So for the past 3 or 4 weeks they have been doing the ultrasound thing, the massage, and the tens device. It's helped a lot with the shoulder pain. There's tons on Amazon. I just didn't know if anyone here had a recommendation. Thanks Kit

I tried Gabapentin for anxiety and sleep issues, and even on a really low dose, I struggled to stay awake during the day. Wasn't worth it to me.

Well I feel like garbage. I sent my now former T a breakup text. I had texted her to see how she is doing with the staples in her head this morning. She replied this afternoon saying can we talk tonight? Not a session. Just to connect.

That's part of the problem! I can't be her friend. I need to be her patient!

So I sent her a text back.

I said:

Oh darling J. I can't talk to you right now. I contacted my pdoc and he is doing a med change. I love and care for you very much, maybe in a way that is too much, because I am too protective of you and I desperately need to get to a place of some stability where I am not wanting to SH every day (I used more graphic language here) but I worry about you too much and I am not getting better. I know you don't really understand my self harm, or the extent of my anxiety, and maybe I haven't said it well. You said before that if what we were doing wasn't helping enough I needed to tell you. So I have to tell you that. Not because I want to hurt you, but because I need to love me. I really need to get better. I didn't want to tell you this when you were hurt. It feels bad to abandon you right now. But if I don't make a change soon, I will be back in the hospital and I don't want that. Thank you for loving me. I will always love you. I met with a different therapist this week. A LCSW and she met with me twice already. I have to educate her on Schizoaffective disorder but she gave me some tools for my out of control anxiety and panic attacks. Maybe you will hate me for leaving now when you are hurt. Or maybe for leaving you at all. I hope not. ANd I know we can't be friends. But please know I will carry you in my heart for the rest of my life. I love you.

_____________________

Yup, I feel like a jerk. But K has been helpful this week and I think she has potential to be way more helpful than J. And K wanted me to break up with J before she even saw me so I feel guilty that I hadn't done it. Although I didn't see J after seeing K so I guess it is okay.

Now I am in so much more pain. UGH. And I can't talk about it with K because she thought I broke up with J last week.

Hugs, Kit. It's good you're setting boundaries like that, about not wanting to connect as a friend. I hope that J responds to your text and is understanding.

Oh Kit, it sounds so hard, but my personal opinion is that you can, and should, talk to K about this. Honesty is the cornerstone of the therapeutic relationship, and therapy, and if she is anything of a decent T she will totally understand. It has only been one week, and I think anyone should accept that transitioning therapists is hard, and won't be without a real struggle. I would definitely recommend telling her, and allowing your feelings around it to be shared. I am glad you are looking out for you, now, and hopefully K will be the therapist that you both need and deserve. Big hugs.

Kit, my heart goes out to you. It all sounds so hard. Sending hugs.

I put in for some days off in May, and just booked a flight to go visit my sister. Yay!!

One of my longtime friends (the one I went and visited last summer) will be driving through my area in early May also, so we're already figuring out how to meet up for brunch that day. Looking forward to seeing her again too! Having these things to look forward to is brightening my outlook.

Kit.

That was a beautiful letter. About K: just my opinion, tell her the truth that you didn't end with J until now. Don't start a relationship off with a lie. Be honest that you just didn't know how to do it and you didn't want to hurt J. If K is a good therapist, she'll actually value your honesty and could even build trust. Again, just my opinion.

Hey everyone. I am going to warn in advance that this is long, but I really need some suggestions/ideas on how to move forward with this.

I have been dealing with very severe feet pain since November, and has been getting steadily worse since January. I have been to urgent care twice (both on weekends), have tried 4 or 5 different kind of meds, seen two different podiatrists, as well as my regular doctor a couple of times. I absolutely have been taking much more time off than I would like. I already feel guilty that I have been burdening the main sub that I’ve been using the most.

Tomorrow I have PT, another doctor’s appt because I need a referral to a rheumatologist, and begging for some sort of pain meds. Then regular therapy.

My boss texted me tonight that my sub can’t work tomorrow, that she is turning her phone off, and I need to figure it out. She also has the day off tomorrow.

I am absolutely flabbergasted. She also said I need to make different arrangements for PT, because it isn’t fair for the other teachers when I am constantly using a sub. I already feel very guilty that I’ve been asking so much, afraid of burdening the sub or any of my co-workers. Now I feel about a thousand times worse.

Up until tonight, my boss has been very supportive. I went inpatient twice last year, for multiple weeks and she had to scramble to find coverage, but she seemed supportive.

She has known all along about all my appts in relation to the feet, and as far as I know has been ok with all the time off I’ve used-until tonight.

I did manage to find a sub last minute for tomorrow morning, but I am beyond upset. I don’t know how to move forward from this. My friend suggested talking to HR, which I most likely will-even though I have no clue how to handle it.

What do you guys think?

Hugs Velcro. I'm so sorry you're dealing with so much pain and that your work is not being more supportive. Can you take like FMLA or something? I had to do that when I had my appendix out back in 2019, I was off work for at least a month on that iirc after the surgery.

Sorry Velcro. It stinks when you're dealing with something chronic and trying to work on top of it. FMLA is a good suggestion if available.

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Husband has calmed down considerably and even apologized for one terrible thing he did (which we are going to discuss when things calm down). He finally tested but just told me it looked iffy. I encouraged him to take another test but he didn't want to and said that he was feeling better. My doctor got back to me and prescribed Paxlovid. She said to go to the ER if I experienced shortness of breath. I feel ok though - just like I have an annoying cold

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Stupid weather! Ugh. I can't do in-person with L tomorrow. And I really needed it to be in-person. Telehealth will only make the child parts feel more alone.

I agree with Art, Velcro. If you need a sub frequently, you’re in this much pain and going to this many appointments, and it’s causing stress in your work relationships, FMLA might be best for you. And if you talk to HR, they might well suggest it too.