Couch 242: madam i'm adam

RIP Cindy Williams

I am as certain of that as i am of anything.

Carmine has been waiting for her.

And Lisa Loring.

I never did understand their relationship. She was closer to Boo Boo Kitty.

My poor puppy doesn't know the furniture arrangement in our place. Yesterday, she went full speed around a corner and hit her head on a wooden bar chair. We had to take her to the vet for a neurological exam. She seems fine today. Also yesterday, she got trampled on by the older girls and twisted her leg. She walked it off and is fine. What a bad day for her though!

Fyi, we put the chair in the garage!

Poor Luna! I hope she gets the hang of things soon.

Awww! I hope Luna gets the lay of the land soon! Sweet girl.

Last night I dreamed something about being in college again and having a big cage up on my dresser with these teeny-tiny pet mice in there, and 4 baby rabbits. One of the mice got loose and I found it behind the dresser and picked it up & put it back in the cage. I was surprised in the dream that they didn't bite me. Not really a helpful dream on the surface but... at least I remembered it I guess.

eta: Just read this on a dream interpretation site: "Baby rabbits are connected to confronting our own fears in life. Spiritually speaking the baby rabbit is associated with care but also that you need to face any fears." okay that's interesting. I definitely need to face my fears with regard to current situation.

Art maybe it also goes back to you also expressing the wish to be like your old self and getting things done. Instead of the server it was solving the problem with the escaped animal.

Have a therapy appointment tonight. I am looking forward to it. It's been a hard week.

I think I need to change my expectations of what to expect while my friend is gone.

My Peru trip got cancelled. I was going with a Church. There is a lot of unrest there right now (not why it got cancelled) so maybe it is for the best. Maybe I can go next year and maybe my niece can go with me. I'm disappointed/bummed though.

Oh, I'm so sorry it got canceled, as I know you were looking forward to it. Though like you said, if there's a bunch of unrest, maybe it is better to wait.

I hope your session helps. Sorry it's been a difficult week. Hugs...

Just plopping my bum on the couch, I hope there is room. Sorry your trip got cancelled Kit, it can be really difficult when something like that happens. I really hope you can go next year too.

There is always room on the couch, Waterbear

Oh Kit,

I'm so sorry your trip got cancelled.
I hope there's another opportunity for you in the future.
I hope you are able to be kind to yourself in this time.

HUGS,

Lost

My friend and I have exchanged a few messages on FB messenger since she has been away. Nothing like how we usually communicate (three to four texts a day) but it's something. She is currently in Egypt and is having a blast, totally the time of her life, which is great and I am happy for her. (And a little jealous since my Peru trip got canceled.) It is hard not seeing her. And not getting hugs. My emotions have calmed down and some of my abandonment reactions have calmed down. I think I am numb now. 12 days until she is back. It's been 7 days since I have seen her, so I guess we are kind of in the middle stage right now. Hopefully I can talk more about this with my T. But since my emotions are more calm now it is hard to talk about the intensity of what they were. Also the numbing is in itself annoying even though it is protecting me.

Numbing is a great protective mechanism but really hard to work with stuff once it's in play isn't it!! I hope your session with T goes well, and that you can find a way to talk about it all!

I hope your session goes well and is helpful. I'm sorry that you're having a hard week.

Thanks Waterbear

Awww, I'm so sorry it got cancelled. Maybe it is for the best, like you said if there's unrest there right now. Doesn't make it easier because I know you were looking forward to it, but... I hope you can go next year with your niece. That sounds like it would be nice.

Thanks everyone. It's been hard having my Peru trip canceled. It wasn't due to the unrest but a lot of people are telling me that it's good that it is canceled because there is a lot of unrest there currently. I was looking forward to getting to use my passport and getting to see a different country. I was practicing my Spanish. I know quite a bit but find it hard to respond well in Spanish. I comprehend more than I can say back.

Had an interesting thing happen earlier. H called with a question about something and I don't even remember what now, but he didn't like my answer so in an annoyed voice said something that got my hackles up which I don't recall now either but I am working on being mindful today, so I noticed the hackle-rising, took a breath, and instead of reacting, I responded "I am not going to fight with you." I literally felt calm floating down over my body in that moment. He said in response "Good, I feel like I won" and I didn't even care. It was just like, whatever dude.

There are no winners in this situation.