Couch 242: madam i'm adam

My friend got the doggie afghan I made and sent her, and sent me a pic last night of him laying on it, and it just tickles me no end to see! I know my cats sleep on theirs all the time, but it's awesome seeing her pup using his! This has helped improve my outlook on life as well. I think I may have to open my Etsy store again and fill it up with pet afghans (or find craft fairs to sell at) - I enjoy making them so much and my friend was like omg omg omg when she opened it They're quicker to make too (especially the cat ones) as they're smaller than people-ghans. I'm gonna ask my son's gf about doing craft fairs, as she's an artist (paints and makes jewelry) and has sold some of her work at them up in their area recently.

Trigger for ex-cat talk



I recently had to put down my ancient 20+ yr old cat (it was time and I miss him but it is not a tragedy or anything like that - he had a long good life here and I am fine with it) and last night I think his ghost decided to mess with all of us - around 3 am the dogs started pacing around and I thought I heard a cat in the living room but my younger cat was sleeping on top of me. The dogs ran to the living room and barked at the space heater where he spent his last few months sleeping - then stopped, came back to the bedroom, and just plopped on their beds and went back to sleep. Spooky

SD - best story ever.

Eta - dont you guys watch Ghost Whisperer? The dogs told him it was okay to go into the light. He didnt want to leave by himself.

Ex-cat definitely popped in for a visit.

Yep, sounds like he popped in to say hello!

I love that show.

Keeping up with the drama in my life in regards to all this feet pain i am dealing with: I had this morning off bc of physical therapy, another appt at my doctor’s to get a referral to rheumatology, and then regular therapy.

My boss texted me (while starting a 45 minute to my psychiatrist), telling me that the sub I had couldn’t cover me for this morning. That she was turning her phone off and I had to deal with it. That I need to schedule my upcoming appts (physical therapy included, which is twice a week making me about an hour and half late) outside of work hours.

I can not believe I didn’t crash my car, I was crying so hard. This blindsided me, because she has known all along with what i am dealing with, and has seemed supportive. It feels unneccesarily cruel. Also, I get that is frustrating-I’ve been taking a lot of time off because of this. Anyway, long story short, I ended up finding someone who could work for me this morning.

I saw the Nurse Practitioner today, and she doesn’t think it is rheumatology related bc i don’t have any other symptoms. So she is referring me to see an orthopedist, to take it to the next step-which might be surgery. Which, I can’t even think about.

The nurse got an appt me for 1 today, but it was impossible to go at that time. I rescheduled-for March 8th.

The NP said she would prescribe tramadol for the pain, but she can’t bc there are too many interactions with the other meds i am on.

I broke down, again, because I can NOT deal with this pain any longer. I have spiraled downward this week-pain and mental health-wise.

I don’t know what to do. I emailed the woman in HR to talk about al of this, and what my boss told me. I have no idea where that will lead.

How can I keep going on? I’m seriously asking.

Hugs, Velcro, I'm so sorry you're dealing with this and that your boss is being such a jerk about it. It doesn't seem right that they can just turn their phone off and make you deal with it. Do you have any sort of notes from your doctor(s) about how serious this is and how important PT can be? I hope HR is helpful in some way.


Also, I'm assuming you need to stand at least some of the time for your job, right? How do they expect you to do that if your feet are in constant pain?

Finally, does your PT place have any weekend hours maybe? I think where H goes offers some on Saturdays. That could at least help with one of the days.

Thanks LT.

I am assuming there are notes in my doctor’s file. They know everything I’ve tried so far. And yes, I do need to be on my feet a lot of the day. That is unavoidable, and making the situation much more difficult.

The PT place I am using does not have weekend hours. Seeing her at 8 was the best I could do to not to interrupt work.

I didn’t hear back from HR, and am terrified to go to work Monday. Partly bc the pain is only getting worse, and partly bc I will need to face my boss. I am so, so upset about this. I also avoid confrontation like it’s the plague. If my co-teacher weren’t out of town next week, I would seriously consider not going Monday at the very least.

My therapist also recommended FMLA. Which I am strongly considering. But I still need to talk to HR about that, and that won’t happen this weekend.

I am at a loss. I feel like an empty shell of a person.

I'm so sorry you're going through this, Velcro. Gentle hugs if wanted.

L called me paranoid today! lol She was talking about one of my younger parts. It was funny because it was true, but she freaked out after saying it. We agreed: common humanity, we all have paranoid parts.

It was a good session. I needed in-person to do deeper work than I was able to do.

I hope Tuesday's rain isn't as bad. I could have done in-person today, but H said he was too scared for my safety... The rain didn't even start until after I would have gotten home. I'm broken-hearted that I didn't go today.

Hugs, Scarlet. I'm sorry you weren't able to see L in person today. But I'm glad it was a good session anyway. And I hope you get to see her in person soon.

My pharmacy didnt deliver today because the ice storm knocked out their power since wednesday but i waited because i didnt get a good message until halfway thru delivery time, then i was like hmm let me check and there waz a 2 hr old message. So i need to go monday or tuesday, unless they will deliver then. I dont like to go in unless i have to pick up my insulin which cannot be delivered. They still didnt have power yet, you would think they would have some priority.

Well, little Luna is free. She figured out how to get out of her playpen. She's too smart. We have her sort of pad trained. When we put her on it, she goes. But if we don't, she'll go wherever.

The doctor finally signed off on my liver scan. Only took them 6 weeks. But they won't give me the results unless I make an appointment. That's an $85 copay just to get results!

And I'm going to be seeing a new pdoc next week. The pdoc my ex-pdoc wanted to refer me to, now works in my county! So hopefully she'll be a good one. And maybe she'll prescribe me my benzos?

Morning, Couch.


Hope you are all doing well.

Pocket riders would be gratefully appreciated for the event in two hours.


No idea what to expect, but I am going.

I'm a little late, I think, but I'll pocket ride.

Thanks, LT.

It was gruelling, but worthwhile.
I managed to speak to someone from a UK-wide organisation I found back in August 2021, when their nearest 'local' group was 200 miles away from me.

Through that conversation I learned that they have a Facebook group, and a group in my city.

I've requested to join the Facebook group as a possible stepping stone towards the in-person group.

A member of another well-known UK organisation started a conversation with me, but then said 'The choir are getting into place now, let's talk later.'

I worried a lot (as ever) about finding the words, but my phrase 'My friend Steve died in June 2021' seemed to do the job.

There was a table with some boxes of free books, and I managed to find a David Whyte book that I've been seeking for a long time.

Funny how things work out.

Hiked about 3.5 miles today, it was wonderful and just what I needed.

Why is pic sideways 😐

In my hotel room kicking back crocheting this is for my sister's doggie. Ignore my toesies heehee

Therapy is so shameful. Why do we pay someone to listen to our most private selves? I mean, willingly! We do so willingly. I don't know what I am doing when I am involved in this nonsense.

hugs if wanted, comrade.

Beautiful blanket, Artie! Any chance of a (brief?) picture of the four-legged recipient?

Although I'm still processing the remembrance/bereavement support event I attended yesterday, one of the things that made me smile was meeting a Chihuahua/Terrier mix called Snug.

Her human said she has a Border Collie sibling called Cosy, and I melted.

Another pic from hiking Saturday afternoon. Didn't make it all the way up to the flagpole at the top of the hill (hard to see in this pic), h got too tired cuz it was kinda steep, but we made it probably 2/3rds of the way. I wish now that I had continued by myself; oh well, I'll get back there again it's not that far from home. Glad we hiked Saturday cuz when we woke up yesterday morning it was snowing!

Thanks! Here is Mellie!