Couch 242: madam i'm adam

Quote:

Originally Posted by LonesomeTonight Beach pics:

Oh, it looks like a Seagull, but a different type than we have here. How interesting! Lovely pics, LT. Thanks for sharing them.

Quote:

Originally Posted by ArtieTheSequal Another pic from hiking Saturday afternoon. ...

Beautiful. I love the desert. Wish I was lying in the sun right now, instead of looking out the windows on these hours upon hours of rain, rain, rain.

Maybe I should drive to the beach. It's been a while since I've been. About a 90 minute drive. I think February is prime agate hunting season too.

Agate hunting? Like it washes up on the beach? Nice! We only get shells here (but not fancy ones like they get in, say, Florida). Well, and some random rocks, but nothing like that.

Glad you enjoyed them! We get a few different kinds of seagulls around the beaches here. One variety will sometimes fly into the area where I live (a couple hours from the beach) when it's supposed to rain.

Agate, how lovely. I collect beach glass.

My friend that I went to visit last summer on the Oregon coast is an avid agate hunter... she has them all over her RV in different little containers and such. I found a few when I was up there.

I just had a long, emotional talk with my sister on the phone. I miss her so much, can't wait to spend time with her in May! She thinks I am long past due for a new T for several reasons, one of which is the trauma thing. She's been in therapy for probably 15-20 years, and it seems to me she is light years ahead of me as far as working on herself. She said she changes t's probably every year or so; said she gets different gems from each of them. She also told me something profound when I said I was hesitating in having to "start over" - that there's a lot of value in painting the picture again and again, each time from a new perspective, from a different 'place'. I know why I went back to L for a few sessions, and it still makes sense to me, I was 'in the moment' with a bunch of stressful things happening and it was just easy to go back to what I already knew, so I'm not gonna fault myself for doing that. But I am starting to look for a new t again, this time one that specializes in trauma. Anyone reading this far, please wish me luck if you're so inclined.

Yes, but I think they wash down onto the beach from streams, rivers, etc. I think February is a good month because of snow melt from the Cascades. If I recall correctly.

Wishing you luck with the new T-hunt @ArtieTheSequal.

That's a really good point about approaching the same topics from a different perspective. I'd always dreaded having to start over with a new therapist for that very reason of not wanting to begin again from scratch. However, my T says it doesn't matter how many times we go over something, 'because I'll be processing it in a different way', which is a similar thing I guess.

Sent from my SM-A526B using Tapatalk

Oh, I see! That makes sense about it being a good month with snow melting.

Agreed. I think it's also more like you're starting from the middle, rather than the beginning. You might know what's important to talk about now and have already processed some things. Or you *thought* you'd fully processed them, but actually need more time with them now that you have a different perspective or are at a different place in life.

When I switched from ex-T to Dr. T, I was surprised at how many new insights he had just in the first few sessions. It's what made me keep working with him instead of going back to ex-T.

I've also found it helpful at times to work with a backup therapist when mine is away (well, not the most recent one I saw, as I think she did more harm than good that week!) Just being able to pick a specific topic to work on. Though I feel I have more work to do with the one backup T, R, so hoping I can see her again next time Dr. T is out of town (not that I want that to be soon!)

All that being said, there can also be advantages of working with a T who knows you well, who knows your history, so you don't have to explain everything. They know the main players of your past and present, so you don't have to go into a long explanation of them. Same with some formative moments in life--you don't have to go through them all again. And they just know *you*.

So both can definitely have their advantages. Artie, I also wish you luck in finding a new T!

Thanks LT. That last bit was definitely why I went back to L last month - I knew I'd be able to just jump right in exactly where I was and not have to give any backstory at all of any kind. Which is what I needed at the time juggling all the stressful things. Now that the stressful stuff is for the most part resolved (well not h's liver disease but the other stuff, and our overtime only got increased again briefly & is now back to what we'd been doing) I think a fresh perspective and a different skill set are what I need. I am going to tell L what I'm doing because I hope to have the option of working with her again in the future for her specific skill set. I just think I do need something different right now.

eta: it is not at all lost on me that some of this MIGHT be just another way to try to run away from facing those Shadow parts L talks about. At the same time though... if there's unresolved trauma that she wasn't able to help me resolve which I fully believe there is, and so does my sister after talking with her last night... that part makes me feel like it's not the right time to delve back into this shadow stuff.

Beautiful beach pictures, LT. Thanks for sharing them. Enjoy your time at the beach.

Artie--good luck. It's hard changing T's. I just did it. But I think it was the right thing for me right now. I hope you can find a T to help you forward in your journey. HUGS Kit

Sending you love Artie.

I hope you can find someone skilled to help support you along this next phase.

Thanks, Kit.

Okay, you know how they say therapy is an onion and you peel back the layers? Maybe its a watchamacallit a shallot where there is more than one section, and you do one t per section.

Thank you!

I kinda like that, thanks una.

I was excited for my therapy appointment today. Now I am just nervous. It's in about 45 minutes.

It is snowing here today. I have to go to my GP (appointment is at 1) It isn't too far away but I hope it isn't snowing hard. Plus tonight I want to take my parents out to dinner for my Dad's birthday so I have to stop at the bank and get cash which is on the other side of town (of course!) so hopefully it will be okay by the time I need to be out in it.

I saw this on FB the other day. It's really touching. I told L about it and she got teary-eyed. I wish I had parents like this girl: to just accept me where I'm at.

Mom Returns Home to See Daughter Lying in the Rain, Takes Her Hand and Lies Down to Support Her

Thanks, Kit!

That's really touching, thanks for sharing. I wish your parents and mine (and the parents of so many of us on here) had been like that.