Couch 243: Winchester Cathedral

Lt - have you ever read Bird by Bird by Anne Lamott? You might like it and bird by bird refers to her father saying the phrase to her brother when he was overwhelmed by writing an essay.

I admit to being extremely surprised when I used phrases the therapist tried on me. I found them to be complete and utter nonsense but when I tried them on on students, it seemed to make them happier. I am completely baffled at how it helps. I am both glad it seemed to make the students happier and horrified at the same time.

UGH, Dr.T is really pi**ing me off! I am not lying to my friends if I am encouraging them to do something. Like, WTF Dr T! A good friend, and ESPECIALLY a therapist, should never set the other person up for “failure.” Except, there is no failure in what you have signed up to do. I can see how he might be worried that you will beat yourself up for “failing” in some aspects, but why would you just jump out of the gate with that. If that did or does happen, we’ll then that is what a T is there for-to figure out what triggered you, what feelings did it bring up, etc

Ok-sorry for the amount of caps and exclamation points, SD. My outrage could not be held in.

I understand that others are not as adverse to highly emotional punctuation as am I. If I won the lottery, I would be like "I won the lottery. yay." I might smile but that is not guaranteed. The students tell me I don't smile much - even when I think I have been grinning like a giddy old goat.

Thanks, that's actually a book I've been meaning to read. So maybe now I should actually read it.

And that's funny about the mix of being glad and horrified.

Thanks, Velcro! I appreciate the outrage on my behalf. And agree with your comments.

I think they call that "resting bit*h face" or something. I suffer from that. My contented face looks neutral and when I'm happy I think I still look marginally grumpy or something.

LT I’m honestly not just telling you this. I truly do think you can do this challenge. I honestly have had such low confidence that I didn’t believe in myself at crucial points and would let others do the thinking for me because I always thought others were so much smarter than me. I had internalised their negative thoughts about myself.

You need to take back your power. Believe in yourself today and sod what Dr T thinks. You can make it happen, but only if you think you can.

Start with just one step. Put your trainers on take a walk with your D or H. Use music.

I do treadmill a lot just because I can faff about online watching Netflix. Maybe you can put a movie on and walk on the spot around the TV or laptop whilst it plays. Like scarlet said you don’t have to do it all in one go. You can split it. Find out what works for you.

needing a break should not mean that’s he’s not 100% with it and supportive In the weeks before.

I completely agree.
There's no reason for him to be an idiot to LT about it.

I apologise if my comment came across as flippant.

No need to appologise Lost:

I made a thread which got moved but here's the link:

100 miles walking challenge.

Same there's been so many times I need that encouragement. When I didn't have it my own negative programming overwhelmed me and I lost faith in myself and my skills.

Too right.

We're made for connection, and one of the ways we connect is through mutual encouragement.

Thanks, Lemon, for the support and the thread! I have gone for walks yesterday and Tuesday (we're allowed to start the challenge early) and did more steps around the house than usual yesterday.


I also have a tendency to internalize others' negative thoughts about me, but I'm doing my best not to do this here. You guys are helping!

We do have a treadmill. I don't tend to like using it, but I can get myself to at least tolerate it. I love the term "faff about"--very British!

This is a good point.

I was also thinking about how in marathons, they want people to line the route and cheer on the runners. And at sporting events, including young kids' sports, people are there in the stands cheering. Or teammates give high fives after a home run. Or, on a somewhat less athletic scale, I think of how I used to go watch my parents bowl in a league, and teammates would high five someone if they got a strike. Or go "So close!" if they missed it by one pin.

I'm sure I could think of a lot more non-athletic examples.

Morning, couch. Hugs/headnods all around as needed/wanted/appropriate.

Thanks, Artie.

I appreciate the hugs.

My friends birthday is coming up (in August) . I was thinking of getting him a framed photograph from his wedding of him and his partner.

I'm very into minimalism though so am mindful of not wanting to clutter up his home or should I just do something smaller like a fridge magnet with the same photograph + cash?

For Christmas I sent him a fruit box and a M&S gift card.

I think your original framed photograph idea would be lovely, if he's a close friend.
I'd consider a fridge magnet a bit more of a casual gift.

My T is going on vacation from 4/12 to 4/26 but she said we would still do sessions.

Honestly, I am not sure how I feel about this. I know T's need vacations. She said she would see me. She didn't ask if I wanted sessions while she was away. I do like to keep a schedule and have sessions but I don't want her burnt out. Although maybe she can't actually afford to take two weeks off without getting paid since she is self employed. Hmm.

Just having some weird feelings and I didn't know where to put them so you all on the couch got them!

If she's offered, she's willing to give you the time, Kit.

You don't have to think about every aspect of this 'for' her.

Good point.

I honestly think it would be really good for you to accept her offer Kit. She can still have her holiday and time to relax after your sessions.

I told him I wanted to order it now as they (Snapfish) have a sale on at the moment!

Just had a bit of an epiphany, y'all. A very good reason for me to get my worry/anxiety under control (I'd been doing okay with it since I went back to L for a bit, but since H & I started working on our taxes recently and hearing about yet more changes happening at work, I'm feeling all worried/anxious again about life in general), and now I'm worrying about my son again too because worry begets worry begets worry (at least for me): when I'm constantly worried/anxious, it makes it pretty darn hard to distinguish a real 'gut feeling that I need to listen to' from the constantly-there worry/anxiety. As in, I can't hear "that still, small voice" inside because it's drowned out by the constant worry/anxiety that has bulldozed its way back in. I can't get into the app anymore that I used for that CBT thing through work a while back, so I may see if I can sign up for another round. Or I can try that woebot app again too, it's similar but I liked the program through work because I had a coach I talked to once a week. And I will ask L for any suggestions when I see her tomorrow. We've been working on other stuff and I'd been focusing on that, doing a lot of writing between sessions and stuff, so I hadn't been too anxious until this week when we heard about the changes at work... and now that's all I can think about is taxes/my son/work etc and I can't focus on work or writing. Boo.

I'm heading out for a walk while I still have some time left on my lunch break. Sunshine and movement always help.