Couch 243: Winchester Cathedral

You might be eligible for disability benefits if you're too ill to work.

Not sure how it is in the US but are there any advice helplines that could point you in the right direction for what you might be eligible for.

Wow that's such a profound sentence. Going to copy it down like I used to before.

How are you doing today Kit?

Hope you feel a smidge better. Were you able to get a new slot?

I'm so sorry for the loss of your father, Artley.

I'm sorry for your loss, Artley.

I'm back from visiting with my friend, we had a great time! The cave tour (Kartchner Caverns) was really impressive, and then we went to lunch and gabbed for a couple hours after. This cave was discovered in 1974 if I remember right, and is apparently considered one of the most beautiful caves in the world, I was just reading. I can't believe I've lived less than an hour away for like 12 years and hadn't gone yet! There's some really gorgeous formations in there. One of the natural columns is named Kubla Khan, after the Coleridge poem; it's like 48 feet tall and is just gorgeous. They don't allow you to bring anything in so you can't take pictures, so of course I had to buy a postcard. (pic is of said postcard.) Today's tour totally reawakened my interest in geology. My friend and her hubby are passing through the area, on their way back to the midwest. I wish she were here longer so we could spend more time together!

I had so much fun yesterday I made myself forget at least for the day, about my upcoming dentist appt for the crown I need.... today I'm thinking about it again... my appointment is friday morning at 8am. I'm supposed to see L again at 2:30 pm the same day and now I'm wondering if I'm even going to feel like it. My experience with the only other crown I had that I got like 8 years ago was an overall terrible experience that I don't want repeated. I don't remember anything at all about actually getting it - the problems with it didn't start until after I got the permanent crown. (trigger for dental specifics)

I like the new dentist I'm going to well enough, the filling they did awhile back wasn't so bad, they gave me enough confidence to finally schedule this crown appt - but ugh. Don't want a repeat of the previous experience!! has anybody gotten a crown in the morning, then gone to a different appointment or back to work or something the same afternoon? I feel like I oughta reschedule L but I'd rather reschedule the stupid crown!! The dentist came in after my teeth cleaning on friday said I really need to get it done as soon as I can - as I've been putting it off since October I think it was since they first told me I need it.
I'm not gonna reschedule the crown, gonna be an adult about it.

Artley

Artie - yeah that sounds exhausting. Will there be time for a nap in between?

Should be! the dentist is really close to my house, unlike L. I think I just blocked out a lot of the whole experience from 8 years ago or whenever it was except the lingering fear of dentists....

I think it will help to allay my fears of the same thing happening again with the new crown, iffn I do feel up to talking to her later that same day.

I'm a big 60 year old baby when it comes to dental stuff. Ugh.

What is L's cancellation policy like? Could you let her know about the crown and ask if it's OK to cancel (with no charge) if you're feeling rough that day? I could see Dr. T agreeing to something like that for me. Or is it possible to reschedule L for either Saturday or early next week?

48 hours usually but I'm sure she'd be okay with it as long as I reschedule. I don't know why I'm even worrying about it. Yes I do, it's because I'm so nervous of the dentist. Thanks LT.

Now that my workday is done as of like 50 minutes ago, to keep my mind off the stupid dentist, I wrote today's poem, the prompt today was kinda fun, to "write a poem of your own that has multiple numbered sections. Attempt to have each section be in dialogue with the others, like a song where a different person sings each verse, giving a different point of view. Set the poem in a specific place that you used to spend a lot of time in, but don’t spend time in anymore." My poem ended up being about the beautiful oak tree in my childhood backyard that I used to climb up in to hide among the leaves and branches.

One of my favorite parts of this month (besides the writing) is going to the napowrimo.net website to read the poems that others write and share! It's so cool to me that with the same prompt, 100 people can write 100 completely different poems. It makes my heart just sing.

That is an interesting prompt! Your poem sounds really nice.

I'm behind in writing for my memoir course. I mean, not technically behind, because I just have to get through all the modules in 6 months. But I only just starting writing for the current module today, and it had been a week. She's letting me not follow the prompt, just said to follow my inspiration. I'm just trying to figure out what to write!

Artie-The worst part of getting a crown was the part you put in the trigger box. I have a great fear of the dentist, and this was a nightmare coming to life!

I won’t lie, that it was like running in a field of tulips, but my dentist let me stop whenever I wanted to. I just had to raise my hand and immediately she stopped. I did it a couple of times my anxiety got the best of me, but taking a break helped, to just to take a few deep breaths, and when I indicated I was ready, they continued. It wasn’t a “great” experience, but it wasn’t as scary as I thought it would be.

The temporary crown really wasn’t too bad. Just had to avoid chewing on that side. I think I went back a week later. She popped the temp one out, and popped the new one in. that took about 30 seconds and it wasn’t painful. She then has to polish jt to make it a perfect fit. Also not painful.

As going to see L, I wouldn’t recommend it. My numbness lasts hours, though apparently that isn’t common. I just wouldn’t feel like talking for an hour.

Sigh. I dropped my screw-on earring back down the sink while trying to clean my earrings. I now have to determine if it's worth the effort and money to get a wrench to take the drain off or to just go to a jeweler and get another back.

Thanks velcro. that makes sense, I don't think I'll feel like talking for an hour later that day either. I'm gonna reschedule one or the other.

Yeah, everything is so over my head, I had the meeting and an officially terminated, I came home, got myself to calm down (with medical assistance), and slept until now O(3pm) only because I have a therapist session

I'm so very sorry, Velcro. Hugs if wanted. I hope your session is helpful.

Ugh. Is it something you could possibly order online? Like if it's a standard size?

I'm so sorry, Velcro. Did they terminate you, or did you resign? I think that could make a difference in unemployment benefits, but I'm not sure.


I hope your therapy session is helpful in some way. Hugs, if wanted.

Thanks Lemon,

The SI thoughts are better. Not gone, but better.

The SH thoughts on the other hand, are back to acting up. They are like 100 times worse.

I broke down and texted T. I told her I feel like I am constantly managing symptoms that are getting in the way of me living a fulfilling life. And it's very exhausting to live this way. I also told her I missed her, that I hoped she was having fun on the farm, and that it is four days until our appointment.

I wish I would have asked for a voicemail or something so at least I could hear her voice.

But I am a big ole chicken.

I also told her I am stuck on the DBT workbook. I am supposed to imagine a safe place and I can't.

HUGS Kit

I sucked it up and asked for a voicemail from T. I should have asked for it weeks ago. But I am a big chicken. We'll see if it happens. It would be nice if it did but on the other hand I am not holding my breath. She might want to talk about what it means or something before she decides to do it. I told her I have problems with object constancy and that a former T had done this for me and I found it helpful. I don't feel connected to her at all right now.

Yeah, they sell them on Amazon, but I don't know if there is like a standard post size or not. Figured it'd be easier just to go somewhere physical so they can make sure it'll fit.

LT- yeah, i am getting unemployment benefits, but have no clue if i resigned or got fired. I am just happy they won’t contest it.