Couch 247: Choose Cheese!

That excuse didn’t work for ex-Hankster. It won’t work for you.

I'm kind of struggling with something Dr. T said today about my hypervigilance. Anyone open to a PM about it?

I think it's like Malcom explaining Chaos theory to Sarah in Jurrasic park. The second water drop will not follow the path of the first because the original conditions have changed.

It's important to recognize that internalizing conflicting messages and experiencing psychological undermining can deeply affect one's sense of self-worth. It's not uncommon for individuals who have experienced such challenges to struggle with self-neglect or difficulty in prioritizing their own well-being.

It's about self-compassion and understanding your journey. Recognizing that your struggles are rooted in past experiences and conditioning can help you approach self-care with greater patience and kindness towards yourself.

Change is hard because it requires energy to maintain. It can be easier, when everything is going swimmingly. Harder so when things crop up.

Start small, grow tall.

I'm currently free now, but will sleeping in a bit.

I'm grateful I got to play with some black puppies today and that I could afford to eat.

Thanks, Lemon! No rush on response, like tomorrow or whenever is fine.

I'm available too and sorry you're struggling.

Replied.

Thanks lemon.

What you said reminds me of one time, almost 50 years ago, i was driving on the expressway with my first ex-h as passenger. All of a sudden he shouts Stop that, your making me seasick! Im like what??? He says, you speed up, then you engine brake, then you speed up again. Why cant you maintain a steady speed? This was especially obvious as we went under overpasses, so the road was slightly hilly.

I was completely unconsciously driving the way my parents did (mostly my mother by then). Not really by choice, but yes i was afraid of "going too fast". But i just had to pay attention to change the habit.

Heading to see L in a few minutes. Pocket riders welcome if anyone's so inclined.

I'm in, Artie.

I think a lot of it is nature - not nurture. My sibling is the people pleaser, apologizing, thinks of himself as highly sensitive etc. If someone wanted empathy -totally he is the one to choose - not me.
I would have guessed therapy was right up his alley -but he hated it as much as I did. Actually, if he didn't look like me and my parents and if I didn't remember being taken to the hospital to see him after he had been born - I would think they brought the wrong baby home because his personality is so completely different than mine.

If I had issues with my parents - I would hope therapy could help with letting it go and moving on. But that doesn't seem to the effect it has.

Thanks, Lost. It went okay. I told her a couple of hard-to-say things. Felt like she kinda didn't really understand the importance of either of them. One she sat there and called an "excuse" and I said no it's not, it's a realization about myself that I'm working on accepting, and saying it out loud helps me do that. How is that an excuse? And she told me I was "flying high" when I came in there. I really wonder what that woman has against me feeling happy. I really do. I went in there feeling good about my poetry stuff, basically, not "flying high"; just in a good mood. Which fairly quickly became pensive and almost sullen.

Meh. Therapy is stupid.

I don't immediately think of flying high as an insult - I say it about myself when I am happy.
Does the therapist use it as a pejorative phrase? Therapists can be so very odd

Definitely pejorative.

Odd as the day is long

I am beginning to see that

What’s a pocket rider?

You ride along in someone's pocket to their therapy appointment. You can bring cookies. Crumbs are okay, but you dont want to spill hot beverages cuz it can be a bumpy ride sometimes.

That sounds like fun, I have a spill proof thermos, and I’m a neat cookie eater

Student excuse: is pre-pneumonia a thing? How can one diagnose pre-pneumonia? Is it like walking pneumonia? Would every cold be pre-pneumonia?

I'm trying my hand at writing anger poems tonight.

it's honestly kinda refreshing.

Its not a thing. It sounds like they are trying for a pre-pardon in case it does not become full pneumonia. If you have rails, you have pn. If you dont, you dont. Rails are so interesting. They are like alive things in your chest that tell you that you need help NOW. But these kids should not be tempting fate. Lying little...! Boy who peed in my oatmeal?!

"Pre-pneumonia" isn't a recognized medical term and not every cold leads to pneumonia.

Someone though might be at risk of developing pneumonia due to an infection or inflammation in the lungs.

Walking pneumonia, is a milder form of pneumonia caused by the bacterium Mycoplasma pneumoniae. People with this are often able to continue with their daily activities,

Diagnosing pneumonia is based on symptoms like such as cough, fever and abnormal lung sounds, Sputum samples plus imaging studies.

I replied to your PM!