[Mouse_]

I dunno, I know friends in real life that just get on with it. I feel I am forever thinking about poor me, woe is me. Even places like this I feel tend to have me feel like this too. I read somewhere that a woman growing up missed out on her mothers love because her mother spent her life in therapy, it was always about her. Oh I can hear T saying but wasn't all about your before therapy? I wonder what would happen now if I were to take a break? learn to accept life on lifes terms. I wonder if therapy isnt more a luxury at times? A time to endulge our narcisstic tendencys? I think I will talk about this in todays session, and then begin to get alife and when I've got one, to actually be part of it.

[kimmydawn]

I so understand what you're saying and thought similar at times while in therapy, and also in hindsight (being graduated almost two years).

I think there's some truth to what you're saying, but in hindsight it was so necessary for me to make the strides that I did.

For instance, I did go thru the "woe is me" and "it's mother's fault", but I had to to understand and manage. In hindsight, it was all worth it because I was able to develop much more healthy (and sweeter) relationships (even with mother) and understand better my role in them, not to mention my coping skills for triggers during communication, etc.

So, yes, I did see that happen and, yes, I'm glad overall that it did.

I guess just like anything else in this world (from eating and drinking to sleeping), it's about managing what we do and avoiding extremes.

I wish you well and so understand where you're at with this right now.

KD

[Perna]

I feel like, what else are we doing with our lives? We have to live with ourselves, no one else does. Only we can accuse ourselves of being self-obsessed because we're the only ones who can see into ourselves that far!

But a woman who isn't paying attention to the people, her husband and children, while she's in therapy has another problem with being self-obsessed. Therapy teaches us how to better relate to others, not just ourselves. If someone isn't practicing that at work, home, out shopping, etc. then I don't think they're doing very well in therapy. Just contemplating one's belly button is not therapy, one has to do field work out in reality and work with current relationships too.

[altonwoodsdrphil]

Three Cheers for you!!! next step? find a belief systym that WORKS for you...whats that? it's your perspective on other people, yourself, and the world...most b/s's(belief systyms)are full of b/s...so be careful, Look at the people who best represent diffrent ideologys and ask yourself which seems most attractive? ask a lot of questions and don't accept answers that don't make sense to you. It's a quest for the truth...not YOUR truth, THE truth...how are we to know this truth? they say it set's you free...I'd hold out for that

[pegasus]

(((((((( Mouse )))))))))

I don't think it is about being self-obsessed but more about 'awareness.' Awareness of ourselves and everyone around us and how we interact with each other. There really is nothing wrong in wanting to know and learn.

[Mouse_]

I think perhaps, its not that therapy has made me self obsessed, maybe its made me aware of how self-obsessed I had become because of lifes wounds?? Perhaps?

THE TRUTH? there is only our truth.

[ECHOES]

(((( Mouse ))))

perhaps just a momentary feeling. or feeling not worthy of such sefl-attention..

i hope T helps today.

[Perna]

Anything that engages our heart is going to look self-obsessive at some point because our heart is in it! Lovers are obsessed with their love but one wouldn't fault them for that? I don't think we're self-obsessed in a self-flattering, look-at-me, "obsessive" way :-) but more in a how-can-I-do-this-better for "all" way. I think the only thing we really have to contribute is being the best Self we can be, using all our gifts to our best ability. Yes a lot of that is polishing those gifts to make them shine better but adding "light" to the world with our shiny gifts is not a bad thing. Not polishing, thinking we don't need to polish, would be.

[chaotic13]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Mouse_ said:
I think perhaps, its not that therapy has made me self obsessed, I was always obsessive. Maybe its made me aware of how self-obsessed I had become because of lifes wounds?? Perhaps?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I definitely feel this way sometimes. Therapy has helped me take a closer look at myself and since I tend to obsess over things I don't understand I sometimes find myself asking is this really helping me? Is focusing on these problems making them feel or seem more important than they really are in the whole scope of things? I have to accept responsibility for regulating this behavior and putting things in perspective.

Overall though I think the introspection is probably good. I also like Pern mentioned try hard to apply the things I've learned to all of my relationships. This I think is reaping the most benefits of all.

[kimmydawn]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
Mouse_ said:
I think perhaps, its not that therapy has made me self obsessed, maybe its made me aware of how self-obsessed I had become because of lifes wounds?? Perhaps?

THE TRUTH? there is only our truth.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Oh, wow. Profound.

That's what I tried to say, but didn't do well at saying. You wrapped it up in a nutshell for me and it WORKED