[ChickenNoodleSoup]

Hey guys, long time no see

I hope the holidays are treating you all well...

I had a session with flipper today about which I'm kind of wondering. Especially given that I don't see T for some more and flipper is really, really trying. And while I feel fairly certain in myself, I always appreciate all the inputs you guys have.

So, rundown of the situation. I showed up today to therapy as planned and flipper quickly noted some injuries from

Possible trigger:

physical abuse from my partner

It was quite bad and he said he felt not comfortable with just letting me go back and that he'd like to call the cops, so we did. We went to a police station afterwards as we'd been told, but due to Switzerlands complicated state organization, we were told to file the complaint in my partner's home state, which is the next state over (30 minutes by train).

After we had left the station, flipper was not really sure about going to the next state over with me, mainly due to "not wanting to get too mixed up in my life" or "boundaries". However, he asked me about a minute later whether I'd want him to go with me and whether I'd feel it was a violations of boundaries, and when I said I'd want him to come with me and that I'd not see it as such, he pretty quickly after some thinking changed his mind. We didn't manage to get to the station, just because they close at... wait for it... 5 pm. But we will have a phone call seeing whether we decide to do it tomorrow.

I'm wondering what you guys think. To me, it's certainly a big help that my therapist would come with me to the police to file some complaint. I like that he is thinking about boundaries, while also thinking a boundary of "if I have to travel 30 mins instead of 20 then it is not fine" is weird. For reference, a 30 minute train ride here is almost nothing, people commute for way more than that each day.

On another note, the cops kind of bugged me. You show up with a stuffed elephant and your therapist and they go basically like "you know you just have to get over yourself and go to a different police station". But individually they were all nice, except for the lady at the check in. I suspect she might be upset she gets to work reception...

[LonesomeTonight]

Hugs, if wanted, CNS. I'm so sorry you're dealing with this and glad that Flipper is being supportive. I'm sorry the cops treated you poorly.

In terms of boundaries, I know this is maybe a bit different, but we're seeing a parenting therapist for help with D, and she (the therapist) is attending my daughter's IEP meeting next week (where we set goals and supports in school for special education for autism/intellectual disability). It's virtual anyway, but if it were in person, I think she'd travel to be there (we meet with her virtually, and she's about 50 minutes' drive from us/D's school). She said she's done this for numerous clients (and Dr. T has mentioned doing that as well, as he works with some teens, though with him being my individual therapist, I'd feel weirder having him go to D's meeting).

I feel it's a similar thing, a therapist going along for support. I know some therapists will also go to the hospital with a client and might wait with them there until they're seen or someone else comes to support them. Therapists will also make court appearances for clients. So I don't see it as a particular crossing of boundaries.

It would be different maybe if, say, he were coming to your home to talk to your partner. Or were letting you stay with him at his place till you could find someplace to stay. Though I could even see something like that as being OK, if it were to temporarily keep a client safe, if they had nowhere to go.

[unaluna]

When i was hospitalized for a stroke-like thing, i found it comforting to talk to my t on the phone. But when it was time to go home, i preferred an Uber to his offer of a ride. One felt right, one felt wrong.

I think you will be guided by your feelings at the time.

[stopdog]

The one I hired went to court with a client during a custody case just for support. I don't see a problem with it unless it turns into wanting to hang out and get coffee or something. I personally would not have wanted a therapist near me when doing something like that but I didn't find the therapist's presence to be a helpful or comforting thing ever. If you do, then I do not see it as a problem

[Therapy reviewed]

I'd put more emphasis on the boundaries with your other half..it reads as if you're T was giving everything a good think about..