Couch 252: Kitties and Hawks

I like neil diamond as well. Who doesn't sing along with Sweet Caroline?

Wasnt neil diamond just a poor mans elvis presley? Or maybe a bostonian's elvis presley.

I think Elvis was the country hick with a drug problem, and incredibly bad taste in decorating and in choosing friends. So ND was not that. I am sure he has his issues but I think Elvis wins in the who was a complete wreck race. And I am not all that fond of elvis music except for maybe one or two songs

Elvis has been pretty much replaced in my mind by Conrad "Bye-bye" Birdie. Complete with Ed Sullivan and watsername Ann Margaret.

I love Bye Bye Birdie. Paul Lynde was so funny and so was Janet Leigh. I don't like DVD much but I thought everyone else in the movie was good. Bobby Rydell (Rydell High from Grease) was the boyfriend. What's the Matter with Kids Today?

Anyone here got tips on dealing with imposter syndrome? Going through a bad bout at the moment. The odd thing is, the more successful I am, the more of an imposter I feel.

Some of this was caused by my reunion, the rest by revising the memoir, for which I’m really not in the mood.

I have it come in varying degrees depending. I don't have any real tips unfortunately. I think for me, it is that I remember so many people suffer from it (my person did and she was an academic rock star like you are)- if they are a fake then so is everyone else including me so it is just part of the game.
I am sorry to hear you are feeling like an imposter and hope someone else has an actual useful response

I think the people who SHOULD have it, never do (cough! Sarah Palin! And her ilk And her elk!) And the people who wonder if they are imposters, are not.

Plus you know i was in the parents chorus of my high school production of birdie. I know all the words.

Just got back from picking my dog up from teeth surgery. It was supposed to be done at 4pm, but they delayed it until 8pm because of emergencies. They should have told us and just did it another day. Because they waited so long, she didn’t get the time to adjust. She wasn’t able to warm up enough to get a pain shot. I’m pissed. Normally, they’d watch over them for 3 hours. She got 15mins. We’re looking for another vet.

"The problem with the world is that the intelligent people are full of doubts, while the stupid ones are full of confidence."

Bukowski

Yikes, I'm so sorry Scarlet.

It sounds like a good idea to look for another vet.
How horrible that they couldn't give her pain medication because of their inability to organise themselves better.

Sending hugs to you and your canine friend.

Take care,

Lost

Sorry! Doggie dentures and cats standing up are my Kryptonite.

I worry about you

You should worry about cats standing up, and sitting like humans.

Not sure I shared years ago about my experience at a local outdoor adventure place (may have predated my joining this forum). Where ex-MC had suggested that H and I go to push our boundaries (we both have fears of heights) and bond over it. There was a log crossing many feet up where I had a total panic attack halfway across and was frozen and sobbing (H had already crossed--the guide eventually helped me get to the other side). Yes, I was tethered, but I just feared the actual fall, even knowing I'd survive.

Well, today, in talking about H getting yet another MRI for his hip, I said how I Imagined I'd have claustrophobia in an MRI. Dr. T said he never used to have it, but there was an event that led him to start having claustrophobia--did I want to know what it was? Weirdly, it was at the same outdoor adventure place, but something where he went headfirst, diving into a nylon tube, where he got stuck for 6-7 minutes. He said it was his first panic attack (they no longer have this as an option, though don't think it was due to his experience). Interesting that we both had scary experiences at the same place.

He said he'd spent 20 years talking clients through panic attacks, but it didn't really prepare him to deal with his own. I said maybe he understood them more now, and he said he did. Just an interesting exchange. And a place where self-disclosure can be helpful, I think.

Yikes LT,

I can understand the impact it had on you.
I'm sorry H has to have another MRI.

Dr. T's experience sounds horrific as well.

I think understanding is a valuable asset for a therapist, but it's hard to access your coping skills in the moment.

Fearing the fall is enough. I know that feeling all too well.

Thanks, cerebral palsy.

Sending hugs, if wanted.

Lost

Thanks, Lost. I felt a bit anxious talking to Dr. T about the log walking, even though it was like 9 or 10 years ago (sometime when I was seeing ex-MC but before I was seeing Dr. T). He said he's at a point where he doesn't feel anxious talking about what he experienced, but he did for a while.

It helps when he shares things like that, as it makes him seem more, well, human. We've also discussed many times how my mom clearly has anxiety issues, but would never admit to them. Even for stuff like flying, she will just say "I don't like flying" rather than that she's afraid of it (I don't think she's been on a plane in like 30-some years). Or that she just has trouble sleeping, not that it's at all due to stress. She won't even say she has insomnia.

And I'm sorry you have to deal with the "fear of the fall."

For some of us - there is no point in talking or "admitting" anything - it does not help some of us. It makes it much much worse. There was nothing that I told or "admitted" to a therapist about myself that ever made me feel better. Ever. I tried - but every time it was so awful I just felt like an idiot for not learning from the past. So while I accept that some how it helps some of you - please try to understand that there are some of us for whom it is a nightmare no matter the therapist or other person who is being told. It simply does not help anything for us and in fact makes it worse. And it is not because of worry about being judged or what the therapist thinks (the therapist doesn't matter except to the extent they can act like they understand and I think most fail at that -they get paid because they are not real). And sometimes the incessant talking about it, to people like me, just seems to keep people stuck and focused on the problem rather than fixing it or dealing with it and moving on.

Are you concerned they will rise up and be overlords? Usually they can be appeased with chicken, fish, and chin scratches.
And what do you have against elk?

I relate to this, yes. If I say it I have to deal with it.

The only time I can remember being really relieved to tell someone something was when I confessed to my mother I’d forged her signature on some school papers (we had to get tests signed) by parents in the early grades, and I forgot. She handled it wonderfully well.

I think it’s less elk and more the ilk of elk that bothers ex-hankster.

I do understand this. I think something I've gained from a mix of therapy and being on this forum is learning how so many people are just not like me. It's easy to just assume what goes on in my head is what goes on in other people's heads, that others would want what I want, but I've learned it's not like that. Which I think has helped me to both understand others better and interact with them in a way that is about what they want or need, not just what I want or need. Still a work in progress.

I imagine it's an area where therapists often fail, thinking clients just need to open up about their feelings, when it's not the right thing for every client.

Out of curiosity, is there anything that you felt did help you in talking to a therapist?

People complain about "Baby it's Cold Outside", which is one of my favorite holiday songs and it seems clear to me that they're flirting with each other but there's societal pressure on her behavior at play. And then there's this song that I've never heard a peep about.

Basta! A good word to know for lovers spats and trips to Italy. Song by Louis Prima and Keely Smith - YouTube

This youtube channel is a bunch of old, eyebrow raising songs.

Did you ever meet two more fun words? Unless of course the elk is of callipygian ilk.