Do you think T REALLY cares? or....

I don't know, but I really struggle with this issue. I am probably struggling worse because I am just starting with a new T.

I know my old T used to care ALOT about me and think about me. Her words and actions showed it to me....I was with her 5 years.

But now, it's all new again. Trying to feel whether this person sitting across from me really cares or is just using me as a "cash-cow."
I hate it.

I struggle with this, too. For the first few months, I was pretty good at convincing myself that she didn't care, and that she was just saying nice things to get me to tell her more. But now she's been kind to me so many times that it starts to feel like maybe she does really care. And worse yet, I'm starting to think that that is what I want most -- for her to care about me.

She's told me a number of times that she thinks about me in between sessions. We have not made the leap from thinking about me to caring about me yet though. I think they are a little different and I'm still trying to work through that.

interesting, not me. my T has told me over and over that she cares about me but not that she thinks about me between sessions and thats what i want to hear too.

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krazibean said:
interesting, not me. my T has told me over and over that she cares about me but not that she thinks about me between sessions and thats what i want to hear too.

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that is interesting, krazibean. she's also told me that she's in this relationship too, and i like that. here's to hoping we both hear what we want soon.

I find this discussion very strange. The thing most important to me is not whether my therapist "cares" but how competent he is. When I am in a deep, dark, dangerous place (which I am) does he know enough about himself and his subject to know how to find me? I do not want to know if a surgeon who is operating on my mind "cares," I want to know if he knows what he is doing. Does he care enough to do that?

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pachyderm said:
I find this discussion very strange. The thing most important to me is not whether my therapist "cares" but how competent he is. When I am in a deep, dark, dangerous place (which I am) does he know enough about himself and his subject to know how to find me? I do not want to know if a surgeon who is operating on my mind "cares," I want to know if he knows what he is doing. Does he care enough to do that?

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Maybe it depends what you're in therapy for? If I'm in therapy for relationship issues, maybe it is important to me that the therapist care enough that we can form a relationship and address them. If I'm in therapy for something else, maybe that matters less.

> Maybe it depends what you're in therapy for?

Indeed.