Do you think T REALLY cares? or....

.....does T "forget about clients the minute they leave the office."

Yeah, T's say they care, but in what way?

And do they really care about their clients because they want to or because they have to in order to do their jobs???

If they didn't care about people in the first place than they wouldn't become a T in the first place I don't think.

<font color="purple">If your T only cares about you when you're in his office, or because you're his scource of income, and not truely caring about you then he isn't a good T. </font>

ive had the same question towards my T multiple times. i seem to be convinced now finally but its still hard to trust her when she says she cares. i think they are human too and cant just shut their brains off at home, so yea they prob think of us then too.

there are as many bad T's as good ones.. just being a T doesn't define them as caring. Geez... i can certainly think of more than one who has a lot to learn about caring

if you had asked me last year i would have said a T "cares" in the same kind of way my rheumatologist does.. or maybe even less. Ask me last month and i would have said he really cares, more than my other health professionals, not like a friend or anything romantic, but not in any sort of cold, distant way either. Ask me today? Today is a bad day to ask... so i will stop there.

i will add one thing tho... any long term relationship.. as casual as a mechanic, results in familiarity and an increase in caring for the other.. do you have people you care about, sincerely, but dont see every day? As little as i am willing to comment on whether my T cares... i do know he thinks about me and he has mentioned it casually. i know he has thought about me and felt some degree of discomfort about a specific interaction from time to time.

yea MZ i agree. it changes all the time. but the funny thing is, the fact of if they care or don't care never changes.

I think we have to consider that there are many kinds of caring. I care about the checker at the grocery store in the same way I care about most people - I ask her how her day is and I really hope it is going well. I listen to her answer and chat in a friendly way. I care about people.

I also care about people I interact with - like our office postman. He comes in everyday and is cheerful and nice. We trade stories and over the past 7 years I've learned a great deal about him. I care about him. I'd be sad if he was transfered or retired.

But I really care about my clients - children and their parents who need my help. I wonder how they are and I am thrilled when things are going better for them. For some of these kids, I really grow to love them and I am very sad when they grow too old for my program. Yes, I get paid to do my job, I have to feed my own family. But I don't get paid to care - that is something I give willingly and because I get so much back when I allow myself to care.

All that said - I know how hard it is to believe in the caring of your therapist. I struggle all the time, waiting to blow it and waiting for him to say, "enough!" I'm coming up on 5 years and he hasn't said it yet though!

Yes. My T really does care. I can feel it. She shows it through her actions in and out of session. I believe a GOOD T truly cares about their patients.

I agree with people. I think good Ts care. My T seems to want to make that apparent to me. At the second session he told me that he had been thinking about my life that week and mentioned his concern. And he also expressed how he'd feel in situations I had talked about. Part of it was him trying to get me to express my feeling but part of it was him trying to let me know that others care including himself.

Recently, I've thought about the caring issue. It seems to pop up here a lot. For me the question becomes: Why is it that I want to believe that my T does not care? Maybe I am just unique in this but I feel more comfortable believing that my T is not human and could care less if I come or not.

Just a perspective to consider. Why do you want or don't want someone to care about you?

My T recently told me a story about someone he worked with for years and he said 'of course we worry about and care for patients and after several years, you can't fake it that long'

Made me hopeful since I've been with him two years now...

That's what my therapist says. That he isn't paid to care. That part comes from him.

He also says that I'd know if he really didn't care, and that's true too.

But I also think that he does forget about me when I'm not right in front of him. Not because he doesn't care, but because he doesn't generally remember anything that isn't right in front of him.

I do believe my T really cares. If I didn't, I wouldn't be going to see him.

I am a teacher and I really care about my students. In fact, I was just laying here thinking (just woke up) about a couple of them and some concerns I have about their well being and ability to pass the semester. It is my profession and I get paid but my care is genuine.

T cares and gets paid because he has to take care of his family too. So we can think of it as chipping in with his other clients to keep him going so he can care for us and help us learn to love ourselves.

One thing about other people and whether they really care or not, we don't get to define that, they do. We don't get to say how they care or where or when or what it looks like because it's their caring, not ours. We might like or expect it to look a certain way but that's not the same as whether it exists or not.

I don't see any benefit in believing the opposite of what another person says, especially someone I believe is creditable, like my T. I find it much more interesting to find what their caring is like, how it manifests and how they see it than trying to fit their square selves into my self-defined little triangular hole I've made for them to fit themselves into

I remember once being upset that my t cared. i didn't want anyone to care about me at the time... and here was one more person.

I have no clue but I think so.

I think they do because they want to and that's why they chose their profession. It takes a lot of schooling, a lot of time, and money, to be able to be a T.

I think sometimes I don't want to admit or acknowledge that someone cares for me because it means that there might actually be an emotional connection between us. That the things I do might hurt or adversely affect them. In my experiences people usually don't develop important connections,care or have feelings for people who don't like them back. The fact that they may care about me, might mean that I also care about them. Stupid eh!

I know my T really cares about me, because when I was having a really bad time, she wanted me to e-mail her about how my hospital admission process was going. She told me after the fact that if I hadn't agreed to go into the hospital she was seriously considering cancelling a trip she had planned. That kind of freaked me out.

I'm so used to people not caring about me, that I find it hard to accept when they do care - it just feels weird somehow. But it makes me feel good to. I also know my addictions dr. cares about me, becuase intially when I kept relapsing she could have kicked me out of the program, instead she just kept detoxing me and let me stay in the treatment program way longer than the normal 10 weeks.

--splitimage

I care about my patients very, very much. And I am just an intern. That means I'm caring about them for free

I have absolutely no doubt that my T cares about me. He has told me many times, very directly-- "I care about you." But those are just words. That's not what tells me he cares. It is more in the way that he understands me like no one ever has. That he has accepted me and taken the time to get to know me as an entire person-- as raw, as awful, as funny, as creative, or as whatever I want to be in his presence.

I don't know how people can be in this field without caring about others, so I'd have to say 'yes'. Although, there are probably exceptions...

Good T's really care. But that doesn't mean they think about you after they leave the office. In fact, it might be a cruel reality but T's stop thinking about you, at least temporarily, once you leave your session. You wouldn't want them thinking about the previous patient before you while you are there, would you? I think not.

But T's do give you their undivided attention while you are there, and they also give you much more consideration during the time each week they set aside to work on patient's progress and in planning your continuing care and future sessions.

They really need to NOT think too much about their patients when they are on their own personal time. A T that does too much of that will burn out and not be useful to anyone that sees and needs her/him.

But I've yet to know any good therapist/psychologist that doesn't at least at times during personal time think about his/her patients, and often get an "AH HA!" regarding something else to bring to the therapy session.

If they really care about their patients, they will model good self care.

I often think of my patients when I am not seeing them.

My T has directly told me on several occasions, "I think about you between sessions." Also, very often gives me CDs that he has copied for me, books that he knows I will enjoy-- so there is no doubt that he thinks of me even when I am not right in front of him.

I really believe T cares. I'm sure of it. He once mentioned that he had been thinking about me outside of session (in the context of telling me he'd thought of a new idea about something I'd said). I was so happy about that. Naturally I didn't react since I was freaked out by it too. Sigh...

Sidony

They have to think about us, we're part of their lives. Not like they just rip out an hour a week and decide it doesn't matter/count.