therapy wasnt very good

i had a session with Laurel at 5:00...when I arrived the receptionist said she was running late and wanted to know if I could come back at 5:30........sure...I have nothing better to do.........I drove down the road and filled my truck up (93.99) and stopped at a Hallmark store
to pick up an anniversay card for my wife

married 10 years tomorrow.......whoopeee

therapy wasnt very good....we are both at a standstill on many issues and I cant decide which one I need to work on first to try to
eliminate some anxiety from my life....I think I was there physically, but mentally my mind was in left field chasing bugs

She jumped on me again about getting more physical exercise and
trying to eat better....its all true............but right now I really dont give a
crap....shes doing her best to help me, but If I cant communicate to her what needs to be done, I'm not going to get much more out of therapy.............throw in the transference and my passionate love towards her and suddenly I feel two feet tall

next week Ive got to drag my wife to Panama City Beach for a vacation before she loses her mind.....i dont want to go, but feel obligated for her sake....driving 12-13 hours, then sitting on a beach watching my skin burn and counting the hours till I can go home
and crawl under my bed

when I left therapy I headed home feeling beaten and weak....ive got a million things to do at work and tons of unpaid bills....I watched a Chuck Norris movie until midnight so I didnt get much sleep....

another day begins

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
therapy wasnt very good....we are both at a standstill on many issues and I cant decide which one I need to work on first to try to
eliminate some anxiety from my life....I think I was there physically, but mentally my mind was in left field chasing bugs

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Sometimes you just have to pick one for no other reason than it's the one you pick to start working on. Once you start on that one thing.....many times....other things fall into place

Sounds like you are lacking in motivation at the moment. It sure is hard to pick something to work on when the motivation has got up and gone eh? And then there are times when just the action of picking something to work on and forcing yourself to work on it makes all the difference in the world and gives you back some motivation At least, that's how it has worked for me in the past, might work for you too?


sabby

(((((((((((Brian37))))))))))))))))
I am sorry that your therapy didn't go to well. I agree with Sabby that sometimes it helps just to pick something to work on.

Oh, I'm sorry you had a bad session!! Sometimes we just don't want to keep talking about things. That's okay to have a few sessions like that.

That sucks about the exercise/eating thing. I always hate when doctors/etc. remind me how fat I am. As if I didn't already know.

And why don't you want to go on the vacation? I know the drive is long but maybe some relaxation will be a good thing.

Oh...and good thing on getting the wife a card. Do NOT forget anniversaries....women hate that!

Hang in there, I hope things will get better for you.

I agree with what Razzleberry said - sometimes it's okay to take a break from talking about "issues". I think sometimes we need time to regroup a little and give our minds a break....and then we're ready to work again.

I hope your vacation ends up being fun

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
I cant decide which one I need to work on first to try to
eliminate some anxiety from my life

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">Brian, can you ask your therapist to help you make a list of the different things you could work on and then together prioritize that list according to what is most important and will give you the most relief? Maybe having someone go through that exercise with you would help. I know when I was working on depression with my first therapist, it was overwhelming to try to deal with too many things so she had me focus on two things: getting more sleep each day (my choice as perhaps the most important) and building up my support network of friends and family (her choice). I just shuffled all the other stuff off to one side because I could only work on a limited amount of stuff without feeling overwhelmed and giving up.

Good luck.

thats exactly what we did....make a list but I couldnt prioritize worth a
sh*&....

she's trying so hard to help, but my 25 years of being depressed and not communicative is hard to overcome....I think thats why shes
pushing me to get more exercise.....

I'm stuck between trying to figure out if life is worth living and if it is what can I do to make it more enjoyable

burn down my business ...go back to school....head for the mountains and disappear...try my luck at professional poker

then my wife and her illness and not being able to be a nurse
still keeps me down...our relationship isnt what it could be.......

i just remember what Dori said in Finding Nemo:

"just keep swimming...just keep swimming!"