T puts me at ease and then pulls the rug all in 10 minutes time!

This is one for the history books for sure. Long story short, my husband and I had couples counseling today (I saw T last night and learned his going away for a week).

Something came up in couples counseling that I needed clarification on and who better than my T who understands me. So, I called T and he called me back and we had a great 5 minute conversation.

I felt at ease/peace and was even all okay about his going away.

Then 10 minutes later his assistant calls me and says 'oh sorry but we need to cancel your session for next week because T will still be away' and of course, now he is booked up and my next session is June 4th.

I burst into tears after I hung up. They didn't know this last night? I asked T when he was coming back and he said a week but didn't give me a date.

I should've asked about next week's session but it is their schedule isn't it? T has been the one lately to book all my appts, he didn't realize he was going away and needed to tell me?

At first I thought he's punishing me for calling him today. But then I always have to check that thought because that would imply he intentional wanted to hurt me which can't be true.

Then again, he knew last night about this and he knew how I would feel so why not be upfront and honest and talk to me about it? Or, was it much better to use this as an intervention???!!!

So, now it will be 16 days until I see him next. I never got the chance to re-schedule ahead of time that decision was made for me.

Well, hope he has a great time on vacation while I sit here in pain. Ugh

Sometimes changes can occur within minutes.....not always forseeable unfortunately. T's life changes just like yours or mine does at any given time. I understand it's hard to deal with when things happen and there is no control over it. I'm sorry you are having difficulties with the change in schedule. Maybe you can journal until your appt with T....a place to put your thoughts and feelings down and bring it with you to your appt.

Hope you are feeling better soon.


sabby

Hi Sabby thanks for the journal idea. I went out earlier and bought a new one.

You'll do well to check that thought that T is punishing you. Indeed not! It very well could be that his plans changed; yours change that quickly at times don't they? I think they did think of you and called you as soon as he knew, rather than wait until the day before.

Will he have someone for you to call, should you need to, during the time he's gone?
Will you have your couples counseling still, by a different T? So you aren't without total support. And, you do have us here at PC too!

I know Sky but I had just gotten off the phone with T 10 minutes earlier. I also talked to his assistant before then.

Oh well, it is one of those mystery's of therapy that will never be solved...

No, T did not tell me who to contact if I need him. He never does and I don't ask. Our couples counseling is every two weeks so we see her June 2nd.

Yes, I have you all and that is a lot!!!!

Well, why not call and see who will be on-call for him, and how to reach that person? That's quite normal to have that, for emergencies.

Well, then I guess you're calling him caused him to ask his assistant if she had taken care of changing your appointment..and she hadn't yet? So it's good that you did call, out of the ordinary, so you weren't thrown the curve next week.

I know it's tough when T goes out of town... if you can use that time for yourself, for something you wouldn't normally have time to do, then it will become a respite for you too.

No, the last thing I'll do is call again. I did send him an email. I wasn't mean or accusatory and I was planning on sending a thank you for calling me back today.

So, I added a paragraph underneath...dare I post it here?

(((((((((((((((( lauren_helene ))))))))))))))))))))))))))

I am sorry that your T is going away, those times can be so difficult.

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
At first I thought he's punishing me for calling him today. But then I always have to check that thought because that would imply he intentional wanted to hurt me which can't be true.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

bravo my dear.. this is really good, seriously. It took me about 13 months to come to that decision. It is tough to break that though huh? My T is always having to run back and forth with the secretary, it's tough keeping track of everyone. i am certain he didn't intend to hurt you or deliberately choose not to tell you. Think hard and i am sure you can recall times when you have done a similar sort of thing... they try hard but it happens in the best of intentions even. i'm not minimizing.. god no.. i was so long trying to make myself believe T had good intentions.

i'm sorry he is away.. you can suffer through it with me if you like.. my apt is 15 days away... and i am not supposed to call unless my head is nearly off or something.

You're funny! At least your T told you when you can call. Mine does this and there is no safety net. I'm sure it wasn't intentional but at some point he realized what happened.

Why not just call me back and explain? or am I asking for special treatment?

That's a long time to go between sessions.

I don't think there was anything sinister in your T's assistant calling back right after you talked to T. It might even have been related. Your T could have hung up the phone after talking to you and then slapped his head with his palm, "I wonder if office assistant has told lauren helene that I won't be here next week?" Then he calls out to office assistant, "hey, don't forget to call lauren and tell her about next week--I just spoke to her." And voila, then office assistant calls you. Nothing bad, nothing punishing, just your T and his assistant taking care of therapy logistics.

Come here and post in your T's absence, to while away the time. Hope it passes swiftly.

I know that it really stinks when a T does this. After all, they're in this profession to help folks in big time pain.
Years ago when I was in school, I worked at a hospital with physical therapists, who were devoted to their patients. I remember one time when a patient called to speak with one of the PTs about an issue. After the PT got off the phone, she asked me to call the patient back and reschedule her next visit.
The point I/m trying to gently make is that sometimes things happen and it doesn't necessarily have to do with the T's feelings.
I wish you the best.

I'm going to ask the stupid question Jim, why did she do that?

I know you are right, sometimes things do happen...I just would like some consideration of my feelings.

All T had to do was say hey I'm not available from this date to this date. Unfortunately, we had you scheduled for x,y,z and this is what we can do...

That is what he usually does and I think the more professional thing to do.

He's busy and I'm nowhere on his list of things to consider so there we are.

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lauren_helene said:
All T had to do was say hey I'm not available from this date to this date. Unfortunately, we had you scheduled for x,y,z and this is what we can do...

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">My guess is he forgot when he was on the phone with you, otherwise he would have told you. The guy probably forgot, lauren--seems like you're assuming the worst. Since there's no evidence as to his motivation, why not assume the best--that he just forgot? The guy's human!