[Brian37]

yup....I think im done with therapy......nothing that cant be solved by losing weight....eating right....and strapping an oxygen mask to my face every night while I sleep

time to put the past behind me and get busy living

besides....psychotherapy is a bunch of baloney anyway....right?

my therapist doesnt know how to proceed with me and feels its time for me to figure out what im supposed to come in for anyway

hell the only reason ive been going is because im sexually and emotionally attached to her...yes i admit it......but im a guy and we are all perverted sex freaks

and besides its"unethical" to charge the insurance company for an hours worth of bulls^#@...right?

it could be worse right?...........im stuck running a business i never wanted....my wife is ill with diseases i have no idea how to treat or even offer help to her....we dont communicate....raising our 3 year old son has been the hardest thing i have ever done....im tired,overweight, depressed and have no life other than work, sleep, and play games on Psych Central.....

summer is here...the lawnmower is broke....im broke...and Sallie Mae is on the phone wanting to know where my student loan payment is?

time to slam a Mountain Dew....

eat right, live long and prosper!

[MyBestKids2]

(((((Brian37)))

Sorry, thats all I have to offer rightnow


Dee

[Fuzzybear]

(((((((((((( Brian )))))))))))))

[lauren_helene]

sorry Brian! I've been there...

[InsaneMax]

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Brian37 said:
yup....I think im done with therapy......nothing that cant be solved by losing weight....eating right....and strapping an oxygen mask to my face every night while I sleep

time to put the past behind me and get busy living

besides....psychotherapy is a bunch of baloney anyway....right?

my therapist doesnt know how to proceed with me and feels its time for me to figure out what im supposed to come in for anyway

hell the only reason ive been going is because im sexually and emotionally attached to her...yes i admit it......but im a guy and we are all perverted sex freaks

and besides its"unethical" to charge the insurance company for an hours worth of bulls^#@...right?

it could be worse right?...........im stuck running a business i never wanted....my wife is ill with diseases i have no idea how to treat or even offer help to her....we dont communicate....raising our 3 year old son has been the hardest thing i have ever done....im tired,overweight, depressed and have no life other than work, sleep, and play games on Psych Central.....

summer is here...the lawnmower is broke....im broke...and Sallie Mae is on the phone wanting to know where my student loan payment is?

time to slam a Mountain Dew....

eat right, live long and prosper!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I'd get another therapist. I think you might make it on your own, but it's really hard to do anything when your depressed, let alone eat right, and consistently exercise to lose weight.

I suggest a MALE therapist. Personally, I can't talk to a lady therapist. I would also ban videogames from the agenda. I banned videogames two years ago, because I get so addicted I don't leave the house. Let me know what your thinking of doing, but I'd sleep on it a few days if I were you.

Oh ... tell that evil Sallie Mae that you'll be taking a forbearance for hardship for awhile.

[kessa19]

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Brian37 said:
"my therapist doesnt know how to proceed with me and feels its time for me to figure out what im supposed to come in for anyway
...........im stuck running a business i never wanted....my wife is ill with diseases i have no idea how to treat or even offer help to her....we dont communicate....raising our 3 year old son has been the hardest thing i have ever done....im tired,overweight, depressed and have no life other than work, sleep, and play games on Psych Central....."

It sounds to me like you do have relevant issues to deal with in therapy. Maybe switching therapists? I can relate to this (I'm sorry if I'm off base) I saw a male therapist for 7 years and I thought I was in love with him and the transference was really complicated cuz of abuse issues. Anyway, I found we weren't going anywhere and I switched to a female therapist and I think I am making progress. Whatever you decide I wish you well!!! Have a Dew on me.

eat right, live long and prosper!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

[gimmeice]

(((((((((((((( Brian )))))))))))))))))))

[MissCharlotte]

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besides....psychotherapy is a bunch of baloney anyway....right?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

No. It isn't. If you really believed that you wouldn't go at all.

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the only reason ive been going is because im sexually and emotionally attached to her

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

You and all of the rest of us. LOL

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im stuck running a business i never wanted....my wife is ill with diseases i have no idea how to treat or even offer help to her....we dont communicate....raising our 3 year old son has been the hardest thing i have ever done....im tired,overweight, depressed and have no life other than work, sleep, and play games on Psych Central....

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

These sound like very good reasons to be IN therapy.

((((((Brian)))))))

It sounds like you need help right now rather than quitting. If your T can't help you find another one!

Peace

[Fuzzybear]

[(JD)]

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it could be worse right?...........im stuck running a business i never wanted....my wife is ill with diseases i have no idea how to treat or even offer help to her....we dont communicate....raising our 3 year old son has been the hardest thing i have ever done....im tired,overweight, depressed and have no life other than work, sleep, and play games on Psych Central.....

summer is here...the lawnmower is broke....im broke...and Sallie Mae is on the phone wanting to know where my student loan payment is?

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Why haven't you discussed these issues in therapy instead of the stuff you say you're covering? Psychotherapy won't change life events, but it can teach you and support you while you learn how to take care of yourself while living.



You sound like someone failed to validate you, and you're acting out like all your issues are physical and nothing is emotional.

[Brian37]

no im not done with therapy.....just had a 48 hour stretch where all I wanted to do was watch the world crumble and everyone die

thats the roller-coaster ride we call depression and after 25 years im still riding the damn thing

I appreciate all the hugs and responses...sometimes you just want someone to acknowledge your human and you count

I just get disgusted every time I sit on the couch at my therapists and suddenly turn into a zombie ......I cant blame her for finally confronting me on how the client has to become engaged to get any results.......really?....why cant we just talk about you sweetie??

oh well....

and in the immortal word's of Dori the fish in Finding Nemo:

"just keep swimming, just keep swimming"

(((((((((((((( brian37 )))))))))))))))))

[pachyderm]

> why cant we just talk about you sweetie??

Why not? It's better than no talk, and it might lead somewhere.

[InsaneMax]

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Brian37 said:
no im not done with therapy.....just had a 48 hour stretch where all I wanted to do was watch the world crumble and everyone die

thats the roller-coaster ride we call depression and after 25 years im still riding the damn thing

I appreciate all the hugs and responses...sometimes you just want someone to acknowledge your human and you count

I just get disgusted every time I sit on the couch at my therapists and suddenly turn into a zombie ......I cant blame her for finally confronting me on how the client has to become engaged to get any results.......really?....why cant we just talk about you sweetie??

oh well....

and in the immortal word's of Dori the fish in Finding Nemo:

"just keep swimming, just keep swimming"

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

<font color="#000088">You will get out of therapy what you put into it--- IF IF IF you have a good psychologist. I cannot truly determine if your T. was appropriate in confronting you about lack of results, because I am lacking the context of what she truly said.

HOWEVER... it seems to me that if she was as accusatory as how you make her sound, and she "confronted" you about the lack of results as if you were all at fault, that she is the one to blame more than likely. Comments like those have no place in therapy, and I see nothing to gain by blaming the client in that manner for lack of progress. Perhaps the lack of progress you are seeing could be fixed by a different therapist.

But Brian, you've got to correct your expressed viewpoint of looking at her as "sweetie" or as some sexual figure bro. Therapy cannot possibly get favorable results if all you see is a hot chick, and this is all you have really relayed in here--- I'm assuming your mind wanders onto this in therapy also. If your T. can't make progress with you and essentially blames you for it as you seem to be saying... well, I'd say that's a red flag if I have ever seen one.

But, your attitude about how you see your therapist is not ---conducive, shall we say, to making therapy progress.
I sincerely plead with you to seek therapy with another therapist, and I don't think it should be a female Brian. Maybe your like me anyway, and you open up better with males. What do you think the problem is bro? </font>

You said your T doesn't know how to proceed with you and that obviously angers you... and that suggests to me that 1) you think she should know the direction - does that mean you do and think it should be obvious to her? 2) you're handing over the power to her completely... making it her responsibility... she's there to work with you, not to choose the issues or direction. If you have directions that need exploring... then say so to her. Like Sky said, what about the things you expressed as serious problems?

i am sorry that you are suffering. There is a loneliness that goes with these stretches in therapy... when you feel your T isn't "with it." It's painful. It likely mirrors similar feelings from childhood.. not getting needs met, etc. If you face unresolved parental issues, and most of us do IMO, then transference will creep into the relationship regardless of the gender of the T... and i personally think it has to for deep change to occur... the form of transference may shift, but there is a reason you were more drawn to working with a female... again, all my own views. BTW... have you told her about your attachment and attraction?

i hope you feel better soon... the life situations you face sound very difficult

[concerned4stepkids]

Do something. Never say stuck.

Sell the business if you hate it that much. Or if it's not worth it, get a job you do like and close it down. Sell tools.

Trade a neighbor services for mowing or for a extra lawn mower he has. Find a teen who's grounded who's parent needs to keep them busy. Might mow for just price of gas.

Ask wife if she needs anything... then give her a special family day. Picnic in the living room, have son pick flowers for her or color her a picture. Tell her you would marry her all over again and make her a ring from twisty ties. Smile, laugh and play.

Take walks with your son or wife if she can. Would be good for everyone.

[chaotic13]

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hell the only reason ive been going is because im sexually and emotionally attached to her...yes i admit it......but im a guy and we are all perverted sex freaks.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
why cant we just talk about you sweetie??

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Brian37 maybe your T is just telling you to cut the crap. In the posts of yours that I've read, you really seem to like playing the male pig stereotype. Sometimes I've envisioned you as a walking penis, but then buried in your posts are also hints of more depth. Maybe your T is trying to tell you that for therapy to be effective you've got to move pass the "I just want to screw you" ******** and talk about what you are really feeling.

I really see some hints of an interesting likable guy in you posts; however you also are very skillful in triggering the "you need a good smack" response too.

Just my two cents.

[Brian37]

[Brian37]

for the record...we have discussed the whole transference/sexual attraction thing in depth

she admits to being a little nervous on proceeding with that so called "white elephant" in the room, but has praised me for respecting her boundaries and not displaying any behavior that would cause her to believe that I was a danger to her/me

and yes I am in the process of writing down a whole page full of crap to spew on in our next session, however I have to drag my wife to the next session so they can gang up on me about my internet pornography use....damn internet

and there are no male therapists at my office complex just 6 women

I did have a male psychologist many years ago, but he moved on to another area and doesnt do individual therapy

I prefer females (not for the obvious reasons), but I guess as Jello-Fluff stated I was drawn to a female for some sort of "motherly" yearning.....wow that sounds creepy

[Edahn]

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Brian37 said:thats the roller-coaster ride we call depression and after 25 years im still riding the damn thing

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

*puts hands up*

WEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEE!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!

[InsaneMax]

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Brian37 said:
for the record...we have discussed the whole transference/sexual attraction thing in depth
she admits to being a little nervous on proceeding with that so called "white elephant" in the room, but has praised me for respecting her boundaries and not displaying any behavior that would cause her to believe that I was a danger to her/me
and yes I am in the process of writing down a whole page full of crap to spew on in our next session, however I have to drag my wife to the next session so they can gang up on me about my internet pornography use....damn internet
and there are no male therapists at my office complex just 6 women
I did have a male psychologist many years ago, but he moved on to another area and doesnt do individual therapy
I prefer females (not for the obvious reasons), but I guess as Jello-Fluff stated I was drawn to a female for some sort of "motherly" yearning.....wow that sounds creepy

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

<font color="blue"> HI Brian-- Someone else took my words out of context. I do not believe that the sexual attraction is necessarily true transference, just as an FYI. I have no way of measuring that as I'm not present and not capable of gauging that. I'm not even certain it is important. I certainly wouldn't internalize the "failure" as it's only failure if you become a quitter and give up on taking care of yourself.

I must ask--- why would she thank you for not displaying behavior that would cause you to be a danger to her/you if you were discussing your sexual attraction with her? Are you making inappropriate overt sexual statements or something? Why aren't you discussing what you need to and instead, distracting with comments and/or sexual suggestions toward your T? Is this an avoidance method, or do you just get a kick out of provoking a reaction? If you value your wife, don't do that in front of her when she comes with you.

Another thing.. what does it matter that there are "no male therapists" at your office complex? I think there are far more therapists in your city than exist in the office your current T works in. Are you serious here, or just pulling everyone's chain? </font>

[chaotic13]

That pig is great, even snorts

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Brian37 said:

...and yes I am in the process of writing down a whole page full of crap to spew on in our next session however I have to drag my wife to the next session so they can gang up on me about my internet pornography use....damn internet

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

Hmmm! Still has the embedded "smack" comment. If you are like this in RL, the women around you really have their hands full. Brian37, when you set aside this part of you, what do you really feel? This is what I would try and express in the next therapy session. Of course I haven't been able to actually do this step either. But I have tried to explored these feelings a bit on my own... their mostly pretty warped of course...but what can you do?

[kessa19]

How are ya doing Brian37? Is everything okay?

[Brian37]

im doing better I suppose.....

a new week....a new start

until 9:30 on Tuesday morning when I realize this week isnt going to be any different than last week or the week before that.....

life goes on

[(JD)]

This week can be different than any other week, imo. Do you really want it to be?

Psychologists (nor any Ts) aren't mind readers. Say SOMETHING! It will allow a conversation to begin. Even discussing why you don't want to talk, or can't or how T can help you talk, or whether you want to or not is fodder.