[Kiya]

Alas, it is June again.... and everywhere I turn it's "DAD'S AND GRAD'S" .... must they combine the two? this marks the 2nd father's day I am not sending a card. Not because the man is physically dead, but certainly he is to my heart, mind, and soul. I tire from triggering at the the words Father's Day everytime I turn around, tire of the guilt in my heart even though I am not the one who did wrong. Tired of feeling sick about this.

...brain stopped... someone elses turn....

[HALLIEBETH87]

i bought a card for my dad anyway. i will take it to the cemetery and read it to him. then i will bring it home, and put it away.

havent spent a dad day with my dad in 4 yrs, but this is the first year i havent had the option.


*big hugs to all*

[Kiya]

Hallie beth, thanks for posting
((((((((((((hugs))))))))))))))

((((((((((((((((((((((( kiya ))))))))))))))))))))))))

[skeksi]

I dread it too, Kiya. You're not alone.

[Clandestine]

My father's still alive and I live with him. I dread it too... I have to act all FAKE to him etc etc. Gah. I bought a card anyway and just leave at his desk. Idc if he reads it or not. >.>

<font color="purple">Clandestine</font>

father's day is why I hate this entire month nice to know I'm not alone but sorry you dread it too.

((((((((((((Griffe))))))))))))))

[Kiya]

Yeah, i took a pen to the words on the calender, obliterating them. Then found an I Love You sticker and put that over it so that when I see it, there is a message to me saying I Love You.

[Liberada]

Kiya, I like your sticker idea!
My father chose not to want a relationship with me until I became an adult. (parents divorced when I was 4) I don't mind getting him a card. It's just hard to find one that doesn't say stuff like "What a wonder father you've been".

((((hugs))) to all... yes I dread father's day.... and then... 4th of July.. because that is the event of passing....

There aren't cards that say... what.. I would want to say... I guess...you know... they don't make a card... like that.....

sometimes it is hard too... because my son.. with be celbrating with his father... and with that too... since.. I was divorced while pregnant.. and raised him on my own... there well... there are things that I would like to say.. but don't......

what a "downer" I am... sorry...

sometimes... I would think.. I would like to make.. make a card for the Dad.. I wish I had had... (cazy right??) but somehow.. that might feel good.. this year... no I didn't get to have that Dad... but... I don't know... being 52.. maybe... it is time...

[chaotic13]

Father's day is not too bad for me. I usually feel guilty because I really don' t think much about my Dad on father's day or any other day for that matter. Usually, this feeling last for a little while and then gets buried 'til the next father's day.

[Kiya]

yeah liberada,
i thought about "writing" (in here only) the kind of card I would "send". I think i did once send him a littany of all the crap (not on F. Day) and he was in denial and shock.
Evidently once when i was little i was really pissed off at mom and it was monther's day. i guess i gave her a card that said "Dear mom, I hate you. Love, Kiya".
Hehehe

[ECHOES]

Hope it's okay to post. I used to dread Mothers Day. I would acknowledge it, but I would find a card that just overflowed with praise and gushed with loving memories and closeness and affection.

Irony.

She never "got" it.

But I did.

[(JD)]

I don't dread father's day... though I know it's about to happen because of all the advertising!

My dad was dx'd with brain cancer the last week of May that year... so all of June was his battle...and surgery... and family frenzy who thought he'd live to 100 because he was never sick... he passed after 5 weeks, and was buried ...a few days before his 84th birthday July 3rd. I "smoke" (burn) one of his favorite cigars on his birthday, in memory.

[Kiya]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
ECHOES said:
Hope it's okay to post. I used to dread Mothers Day. I would acknowledge it, but I would find a card that just overflowed with praise and gushed with loving memories and closeness and affection.

Irony.

She never "got" it.

Thanks for posting echoes =) Totally, if I did that for my dad he'd be beaming in pleasure because that is how he sees himself - this great guy who is the king of all fathers. He wouldn't get the irony either.

But I did.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I try to forget its even happening

As i have said my dad has been gone 7 years

He did not leave on a good note

Do miss him thou

My father in law, who I took care of

and he gave me many insites to things

Passed on fathers Dad....

I keep his crutches in the corner........

As i have said was vert kind to me at the end.........

The day he passed everything changed.........

[ECHOES]

Kiya, that's what my mom did, too. She even saved many of them and we found them after her death.

So I guess we both got what we wanted. I got the satisfaction of being facetious and she got to pretend she was Glenda the Good Witch.

[Kiya]

(((((((muffy)))))))

[chaotic13]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
ECHOES said:
I would acknowledge it, but I would find a card that just overflowed with praise and gushed with loving memories and closeness and affection.

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

I did (sometimes still do the same thing. My parents never got it either. They just assumed that 1) I didn't care to have a real relationship with either of them or 2) I was too busy to read and select a nice card, or 3) I had some mental defect that didn't allow me to love them.

[MyBestKids2]

My Daddys been dead 8 years. He was a sweet kind giving man. I was always his "lil punkin". I always miss him.

Happy Daddys Dad Daddy

[ErinBear]

For me, both Father's Day and Mother's Day are difficult events. As previous messages have shown, they can be difficult events for many people, for various reasons. In my case, my parents were abusive, and that makes it uncomfortable from my perspective.

I have found a different way to think of these holidays as an adult, which has helped me. My solutions may not work for everyone, and it doesn't resolve everything for me. But it helps. I have some nice friends in my life who are good parents to their children - working to make healthy families. I choose a couple of generic Father's Day or Mother's Day cards (depending on the holiday) and send them to my friends, and thank them for their efforts to be loving parents for their children. To me, it feels good to support my friends, and honor their work as parents. It helps me remember that there *are* folks out there who are working to provide healthy and loving homes for their children, and I get to feel as if I'm participating in the holiday in a tiny way instead of feeling left out, if this makes sense. And my friends feel thankful for the support too. So it's win-win. For me, it's helped me feel better about these holidays a bit. I also try to plan good, healthy activities on those days that I know I'll enjoy. At least that's how I've come to deal with it, at any rate.

My thoughts go out to everyone who will be having a rough time on Father's Day.

Take care,
ErinBear

[Kiya]

Hey, that's really cool! Thanks for posting. Yeah those are the same reasons i am struggling. I am realizing i am really isolated and don't know any parents good or otherwise. But I will store that idea in my brain for the future. =)

[ErinBear]

Hi Kiya,

Well, the card part might not work for you - but the other half might help (finding other positive things to do that day and taking good care of yourself). : - ) Do some things you particularly enjoy, whatever that might be....go for a nature hike....go see a movie....go to lunch at a nice restaurant....do some crafts....write a penpal....buy some flowers....enjoy watching some birds in your neighborhood ?????

Here's hoping the day goes okay for you. Hang in there!

Take care,
ErinBear

[Kiya]

Today i was in a store and started hyperventlating... couldn't understand why i was nearly running through the store.... oh - it was a "buy this for father's day" comercial on the air.

*sigh*