terminated

my wife and I had our last session with our therapist....she gave us a referral to another therapist.....we were terminated

It was a shock, but then again I guess it wasn't....she made it clear she could not help us anymore and my transference had become
a problem...she mentioned something I said in session probably a year ago or so, and after conferring with another therapist determoned that she could no longer continue to be our therapist
some sexual comment I made I suppose

most of what she said was professional and she was very clear in letting us know that she would not hesitate to help us in anyway make the transition to a new therapist

I just sat on the couch and tried to keep my emotions in check....I just wanted to slap her glasses off her face and kick her right off the stool.....I feel bad for my wife..

im pretty much done with therapy.........im going to the pdoc on Monday and plan on telling him where to stick his prescription pad

Im not happy about any of this....and looking back my sarchasm and
flippant use of sexual phrases is probably the culprit in the termination

hell ive lost the only friend I could talk to all because of my attitude and adolescent behavior....I wasnt ready for this....

oh well , life goes on....anybody got a tissue

(((((((((((( Brian )))))))))))))))

I am sorry that you are going through this.

Yikes. Sorry to hear this, Brian.

I understand the shock and hurt. I'd feel the same as you, but please try and rethink the therapy and meds stuff.

You can have a better life for yourself. You deserve it. Maybe seeing a guy therapist would help?

.. handing Brian tissues and a shoulder.

Brian, I'm sorry this happened. I can understand your initial shock and anger and hurt.

If she felt she couldn't help you, she did the right thing to tell you so you can get what you need. To feel she couldn't help you yet keep you as a client wouldn't be fair or helpful to you.

I hope you'll give a new person the opportunity to get to know you and to help; this may be a move to someone you enjoy even more, really connect with and enjoy working with.

{{{{{{{{{{Brian}}}}}}}}} I am so sorry. I lost my T today too. I understand the pain all to well.

Please take care of yourself.



Mary Alice

Brian,

you seem to know what brought the situation to this conclusion.

having this knowledge, you can learn from it.

packing things in does not benefit you, your wife, or your future.

you can sort this out, and make it right with the next therapist, after all, it's not like you are being abandoned. you are being transitioned to another. you have learned for yourself how this works now.

we contribute greatly to what our own experiences will be Brian ... and the outcomes, usually, in the big picture.

make it happen in a positive direction with this new therapist. i know you can.
you are a very smart guy, funny as all out, quick and wise. you have knowledge.
apply your talents to adjusting to the change, and it will be smooth.

chucking everything is not your style. i don't believe it.

peace and love,
nightbird

Well, yes, I think your actions and comments are part of why you are in therapy...but if the T says she can't help you further, then that's the way it is.

Don't give up! I'm sure there are plenty of emotions for both you and your wife... but now is not the time to stop. You've hit a new path...and hopefully the new T will be able to not only move you through this tough time, but onward to healing. You're worth the effort..

Hey Brian,

You know, it's good when we realize where we erred. As in your sexual comments. However, for your T to bring up a comment from a year ago? THAT is weak.

I think you should go to a new T.

Best of luck

(((Brian)))
Hopefully you will decide to start fresh with a new T.

(((((((((((((((Brian)))))))))))))))

I fully agree with Nightbird and Miss Charlotte.... good luck to you and gentle hugs.... sorry you have to go through this ....

((((((((((((brian and wife))))))))))))))

Jinny xoxoxoxoxoxo

((((((((((((((((((( Brian )))))))))))))))))))

I'm really sorry. Find a new T and work on getting better. You deserve it. You're too good of a person to just let yourself slip away from the process of healing.

Sending many

I'm sorry too Brian but it sounds like she was in over her head maybe. Bringing up a comment from a year ago means that she had some issues of her own unresolved.

It is not your fault so don't blame yourself. Not every T fits every client...keep truckin

Hang in there Brian, we're all rooting for you!!!

thanks for da' hugs and support

I deleted my therapists cell phone number from my list of special people...now the list is down to 2 people (one being my wifes cell phone ).....ho hum

I'm going to take a break from therapy for awhile before deciding my next move...

If my wife cant get our 3 year old son potty trained Im afraid I may have to send her to intense psychotherapy because she is convinced she is a bad mother because he wont potty train

my physical health needs to get better too...im a walking heart attack just waiting to flop over

"just keep swimming, just keep swimming"

Brian

Boys are crazy hard to potty train for some reason. At least mine were! I have three boys and they were all close to 3 1/2 by the time they "got it". But they all figured it out eventually!

((((((((((((((((((((((( Brian )))))))))))))))))))))))))) Hang in there.

All the experts told us that we should let it be and not make it a power struggle. This is one area where peer pressure works in a parent's favor. If there are no compelling rewards (for example, frustrating parents), eventually they'll choose on their own to do what they need to do (learn to use the potty) so that they can do the big kid things their friends are doing.

Brian what worked for us with our almost three year old at the time was having him walk around without underwear on...it worked believe it or not.

we could only do it during the weekends. try that!

((((((((((((Brian))))))))))))))))),
How difficult it must be for you to be terminated because of transference. That is something that needs to be "worked out" in therapy. Please find another therapist to help you, possibly a man. Take care of yourself!

About potty training your child, can you ask your Pediatrician for advice? Maybe he knows of a book or something that can help. Best of wishes.

(((((((((((((( Brian ))))))))))))))

Your son will get there. I hope your frustration and anger with T isn't spilling over into the potty training issue. What worked for my son who was nearly 3 was to put a candy jar on the vanity counter in the bathroom right where he could see it. Whenever he used the pot, he got a piece. No limits. After a few weeks the novelty wore off but the habit remained.

My mother used to go nuts about my son being in diapers at his age. ("I had all you potty trained by 2 at the LATEST"). I told her to relax, he would not be 23 and still in diapers.

Brian, your T knew your issues and any comment you made was a normal part of therapy. We say what we are thinking. It's up to T to explore and help us understand it. What you did was right and normal (whatever that is) and you didn't cause T to terminate, no matter how she might be trying to spin it. I think she was right to terminate because she saw her limitations and that she could not be helpful; but I think she handled it wrong, by implying you are somehow to 'blame'--as if blame would even be appropriate. She simply made a choice that was hers to make. My guess is that she felt guilty for terminating and so she had to deflect that by implying or assigning blame.

It is so rough what you're going through. I wish you had a good T to help you with it.

looking back, I think she worked harder than most therapists would have...I really think she was so torn by the transference that it just was like a cloud hanging over us during every session...I admire her for her courage to stay with it as long as she did

however, it did punch a pretty big hole in my heart and will take awhile to repair the damage....I was stupid enough to think somehow we were more than just a therapist/client...a tough lesson to learn