what if you're not good at talking???

I finally called and set up an appointment to speak with a T, but I think I’ve already botched it, before I‘ve even seen him; when he asked why I need/want to come, I basically stated ,“I’m not good with people I want to be better with people” I know I said something else but I was kind of grasping at straws and don’t remember what exactly. I know I’m not good when it comes to speaking to others(in person or on a phone), I never say what I really mean, I can’t get it to come out right even though it is perfect in my head. This is only a small part of why I know I need to come, because I feel like I am imploding on the inside even though I don’t know why and I am terrified that I may just explode and be no more. My question is, is T really something that might be beneficial if I’m not really good at saying what I need and/or want, even though I know I want it (and unfortunately can't actually say what I need/want, at least not without taking quite a bit of time to think and even then I don‘t know ?? If this doesn’t make sense I apologize.

Hi sockie and welcome to PC...

You did well in explaining yourself here and by your account I think your new T has a good start on where to begin in your first session.

Be patient with yourself. Your T will ask the right questions to set you at ease with sharing. No need to rush..no race going on. It will come out of you when it needs to,,and you will be understood.

And keep sharing here..its good practice...

Again...welcome.

Lenny

Yes, you can go to therapy to work on communication skills, social skills, and the impact that those have on your life, etc. And I'm sure that the T understood where you want to start from what you told him. You are never limited to what you say at the beginning. We all have other things come up as we go along in therapy, and deal with those as they come. You are off to a good start! It's hard to take the first step, and you did it.

Wanting to feel better, feel more comfortable, wanting to know what stands between you and what you want, are all great reasons for therapy. You did fine

I am LEARNING to ask for what I need/want IN therapy. I certainly didn't go in with those skills. It sounds to me like you did a great job - you called, you made the connection, and you made an appointment, right? That is huge!

It sounds like you are having a hard time, and you deserve to feel better. T will help you get through it.

Welcome Sockie. I just wanted to tell you that I've been in T for 13 months and I'm still having trouble talking. Ts are used to it and it's completely normal. Therapy is hard. We are supposed to be in the driver's seat leading the way and our Ts following us closely behind, to where we want/can take them. That doesn't seem they won't try to steer from time to time. Going to the first appointment is hard and scary but if you find the right fit for you, it can be the best thing you did for yourself.

It makes sense. I imagine therapists see alot of people with the same problem. In a therapy session it's just you talking to a sympathetic person who has time to wait for you to figure things out.

It sounds straightforward to translate thoughts into words, but I know it's not. Sometimes my thoughts are pictures, and I can't get it into words. Other times I am saying how I feel, or asking for something for me, which I didn't do alot of growing up, and there's a blockage between what I want to say and it actually being said. Sometimes, socially, I'm just nervous, and I know not to launch into a long story because it's not likely to make much sense! You are not alone!

PS When I started in therapy I wrote stuff down because I wasn't confident about expressing myself. Now the words can still be slow in coming out, but I don't need to write any more. (I'm also much better at knowing what I think and feel in the first place).

Welcome to PC...I would say that if your communication issues are impacting the quality of your life then why not try and see if you can get some help addressing these issues. If the T you are seeing doesn't feel that they can assist you with these issues they will likely tell you this. My therapy has helped with my interpersonal communication skills a great deal.