Crying in therapy

Today was the first time I've cried in front of my current therapist. I mean...really cried. At first I was trying to hold back the tears because I feel weird crying in front of people, but after talking about some things I just started to cry and let it out. At that point I couldn't talk anymore, so my T did some talking. I was a little surprised that she didn't hand me a tissue or anything, but afterwards I felt so much better. After crying and letting it all out, I just felt so much relief. I feel like it was sort of a breakthrough that I allowed myself to cry in front of her, not worrrying about how I looked or what she might think. So I'm hoping this will help me open up more to her and get some more things out that I just need to talk about and I'll probably cry some more, but crying seems to really help me get things out.

I think that's great that you feel good for having cried, as hard as it was to do initially. I hope it helps you not be quite so afraid to open up more. I use to think of my crying as part of a defense system and as if the crying had breached one of my defenses! It took getting into a smaller and smaller space inside of me before I realized one can only go so far "in". I finally decided to deliberately refuse anything of the "fetal position" :-) about me, to keep talking/working no matter how painful it was for me, to keep talking (or listening) to T, no matter what. Then I didn't even think about crying, it quit being an issue.

I am really happy for you that you felt the release of cryng and that you felt safe enough and had trust enough to express your emotions and show how you were feeling - sometimes i wish i could still cry (strange thing to wish for i know) let down the shields enough to let the emotions out .

Maybe she didnt give you a tissue because that may have stopped you sooner than you needed to stop?

I think you have made a major breakthrough - take care

I cry in every session.

It used to be that I would just tear up but no tears would fall.

Now I cry. And it is definitely helpful to not stuff my tears. Sadly, I have buckets full of tears to go....

(((((Dani)))))

I can't imagine ever crying in therapy. I sometimes think it would be good for me as I hardly every cry...but then I think I don't really have anything to cry about!

For some reason (not a rationale one of course) I have crying on my list of things to achieve in therapy. I have not come anywhere close to this... not even sure if it is possible...and I certainly have no idea why I think it is important. It is just one of those things that I have on my...you know your done with therapy when.. list. Another item on this stupid list is to sit somewhere else other than the ugly couch...still haven't check that one off...My ego states have though, so I'll call that progress.

BTW, Miss C I still frequently think of your assprint dilemma when I enter the therapy room. LOL

It took over a year and a half for ONE, SINGLE tear to come out during one session. Now they flow, but it's much easier to cry because of my dad's passing... and that's usually what I'm talking about these days.

Some therapists do not hand tissues because they feel that is a barrier to the patient experiencing his/her pain. Most therapists keep a tissue box right near the patient, but some really believe that it is an interference to hand over a tissue.

In 4yrs, My crying has changed and developed ....I can tell now looking back, that my tears at first were just the first layer of the onion, now I do not have much control over when I cry, sometimes the deepness of the tears feel like a volcano erupting...my whole body is wreck with convulsion...I know when they've been healing tears, because I feel very tired afterwards adn its then I know that my body has expelled some age old emotion thats been stuck/frozen....I don't say crying is something I like to do infront of other people, but I do appricate their reason now...they are not what I use to think they were, or what I was raised to think they were, ie, pity seeking, they truely are a wonderful gift...and only being with someone else that knows that will you feel safe enought to cry...our bodys know whos safe and who isn't, who understands and who doesnt...and its when you do not make a big deal out crying that you know you have "arrived"

(((((((((((((((((((((((Dani)))))))))))))))))))))

I'm glad you could open up and let some of those emotions out....

I've cried with T, and had some tears fall with Teacher T...no one has ever handed me a tissue. Teacher T told me that when someone hands HER a tissue she feels like she is being sort of "cut off", so she just likes to let people cry and grab their own tissue when they need one.

At my last session, I kept wiping my nose and eyes on my SLEEVE like one of my little boys....I bet T was thinking "Wow, I wish I could hand her a tissue - this is gross" lol

(((((( searchingmysoul ))))))
thank you for this... I do not, I cannot, I can't envision ever crying in someone's presence.... When I started seeing T I could not cry even outside session, much less in... these days, with T sometimes my voice shakes (or I shake!) but no tears. I wish there was a way to just fix this; I can sense the tears are there, but it's like I cannot get to them, and I know I will never be able to forgive & move forward till they are all out...

me too! i feel like i am not a good patient unless i cry at some point.

You know for me I don't think it is that I don't feel like a good patient. I think its that I still don't feel normal. I have this image in my head of a healthy person, who when they see, hear, or remember their own abuse they feel empathy and compassion and aren't afraid to show/share how sad it makes them.

Interestingly, when I first started posting on PC Perna, Sunrise, Miss C, occasionally Sky and many others would constantly challenge my idea of "normal". I get this perception error now, but sometimes I still slip. I know I can be healthy, fully human, and be ready to move on without ever crying in the presence of my T.there are other ways to express sadness. I just want to know I can cry..if I feel like it.

I literally thought I would never cry in T. EVER. Then I went through quite a spell of crying at every appointment, and now I can't imagine it ever happening again

But the crying wasn't about the past abuse stuff (I haven't cried about that) - it was mostly about all of the confusion lately in the here and now - all of the changes happening in therapy, adding Teacher T, worrying about my relationship with T changing, etc.

My feelings about stuff from the past (other than FEAR) are so buried, I can't imagine crying about it. I wonder if we "have" to cry about it to really be healed?? I hope not.

When I seen my T I used to cry when ever she mentioned me as a little girl,I just sat there and cried and helped my self to tissues.Yesterday when therapy ended for good I blubbered for the hour,she seen real pain by me crying.Its good to cry,lets it all out.