After my last session (on Tuesday), T told me to call when I got outside because I left the session pretty out of it. He ended up calling me because I was busy snapping photographs of a Palestinian protest.

ANYWAY. When we talked at that point, he told me I could call him and he would look to hear from me later in the week.

I ended up calling Wednesday around 2pm. First I tried his cell phone, but he didn't pick up. I'm allowed to try his cell phone to see if I can talk to him right away, but if he doesn't pick up, I'm supposed to leave a message on his machine at the agency. So I did that.

He didn't call me back on Wednesday. He told me he wouldn't be in the office, but he normally checks his messages even when he's not in the office. I figured... well it's the day of New Year's Eve, maybe he's partying or something, lol.

He didn't call back yesterday, so I figured... well it's New Year's Day, so maybe he's partying, haha.

OK, so today is Friday and that means it is officially "later in the week," which are the words T used when he said he expected to hear from me.

Now I'm getting a little edgy. At this point, I sort of forgot why I even want to talk to him, but I would like to talk to him. I feel like I say the same thing every time. Who cares? I would just like to hear his voice.

I know what will happen: I'm at work today, and the show-rate on the day after a holiday is never good. This means that I am spending a large portion of the day not in session, and just at my desk doing paperwork. Just my luck T wil call back when I am in session. I will obviously have my phone on silent, and would never answer my phone during a session anyway. BLAHHHHHHHH. I'm having a lot of that crappy, dissociative-type anxiety today where nothing looks right; nothing seems to be in focus.

Here's hoping your T calls soon and you get what you need from him

On a side note, from reading some of your posts i can see that you are training to be a T/work as a T (I hope that's right): how do you manage to keep it all together in work when things are so tough for you?? I only ask because I'm a medstudent (on leave due to my depression) and I just couldn't listen to ppl's problems all day anymore while my world was crashing down around me.

*Willow*

Originally Posted by WeepingWillow23

On a side note, from reading some of your posts i can see that you are training to be a T/work as a T (I hope that's right): how do you manage to keep it all together in work when things are so tough for you?? I only ask because I'm a medstudent (on leave due to my depression) and I just couldn't listen to ppl's problems all day anymore while my world was crashing down around me.

*Willow*

Well, I never look at it as "listening to peoples' problems all day." I look at the relationships, connections, disconnections, etc... whatever is brought into the room that day during any given session.

I can't speak for other therapists, but for me, giving therapy is truly a grounding experience.

I am able to do what I do, and also attend doctoral school because there is nothing else in my life that I would rather be doing-- I am fortunate enough to find a career that is so fulfilling that I can honestly say that I am doing exactly what I am meant to be doing.

I guess I also never look at as "my word is falling apart" because what I do is part of my world-- and that part is pretty much constant. So it helps to balance.

I'm not sugarcoating it. There are times, particularly after my father died where I had to call out because I simply couldn't be a therapist that day. School gets really difficult sometimes.

When I entered undergraduate school with my major in psychology, I made a promise to myself. I knew what I wanted to do. I wasn't going there to just get my undergrad degree and then forget the whole thing. I knew I wanted to get my masters and then my doctorate. So I made a promise that no matter what happened in my life, I would keep this as the one constant thing. And I have kept that promise. There have been times within my schooling that I have had to drop a class, skip a semester (this is no longer an option in doctoral school), but I have kept my promise.

I remind myself all the time that I made a choice. I decided that, psychologically, I was dealt a crappy hand, but I made the choice that I was not going to let that stop me; rather, I would work on my stuff, embrace some of it as part of who I am, and allow it to enhance myself as a therapist, student, and a person.

You will make it. At my last job, before I was a therapist, I had to take a month off for medical leave because I went into a severe depressive episode. Sometimes it gets to be too much, and we just need time to ourselves; time to rest. Of course it is always a fear that it will happen again. I know that I can't let that fear of what might happen, stop me from getting what I want.

That was a really long answer, lol.

[free2beme]

it is amazing to me that you (pink & willow) can stay so focused.

good job, guys!

Originally Posted by free2beme

it is amazing to me that you (pink & willow) can stay so focused.

good job, guys!

It's amazing that my T can't. Why isn't my phone ringing???

Actually I should cut the guy a little slack. If he is back in the office today, I know that he usually waits for a break in between session to call because our phone calls normally last more like just a couple minutes. Sometimes he calls after he leaves the office.

But if he's not in the office today, then there is no acceptable excuse, hahaha.

6pm. Damn him. He said we would talk...

[02221983]

Pink why don’t channel l some of your energy, and connection towards your husband, you spend so much thinking and writing about your therapist.
P.s. take care of yourself and be nice to your husband.

Originally Posted by 02221983

Pink why don’t channel l some of your energy, and connection towards your husband, you spend so much thinking and writing about your therapist.
P.s. take care of yourself and be nice to your husband.

Why don't you channel some of your energy towards noticing that this is the Psychotherapy Forum, so that's where one would tend to write about his/her therapist.

[MissCharlotte]

Sorry, usually I don't interfere but I can't help myself. This seems out of line:

Pink why don’t channel l some of your energy, and connection towards your husband, you spend so much thinking and writing about your therapist.take care of yourself and be nice to your husband.

Isn't this the psychotherapy forum? Aren't we here to discuss psychotherapy and our therapists--our relationships with our therapists and our longings and desires as it relate to therapy?

Since when do we judge one another? Since when do we tell others how to feel or where to place their energies?
Relationships with therapists are very different than relationships with husbands.Trust me I've got one of each. When we are awaiting a phone call from our therapist and he/she doesn't respond we need support/NOT redirection.

[lifelesstraveled]

(((((pink))))))

Waiting on a phone call sucks....sorry for sounding juvenile right there LOL...

I hope he calls you soon Maybe he's busy or in tunnel in traffic and he doesnt have a signal on his cell or maybe he dropped his cell in the snow resulting in water damage --i dont know where u live...you could be in warm sunny cali or florida for all i know. but I dropped my phone in 4 inches of snow on new years eve....thank goodness for cell insurance--just taking wild guesses. maybe his day is full with clients and he hasn't had a break...not even to eat lunch...i am sure he hasn't forgotten about you

maybe his evil basset hound ate the cell phone...like a certain somehound i know did.. along with a toothbrush, can of breadcrumbs, box of pasta, frozen container of tomato sauce (yeah he's channeling his inner italian i guess) and other assorted items the last 2 days!

if that's the case...then he is probably searching for a qualified therapist for that certain basset hound (or for a package of duct tape to clamp the jaws shut!)

i so feel his pain....anyone interested in basset hound who seems to be channelling his inner italian??????

[02221983]

If this website if for support what with all the judgments and name calling…..she about her H plenty of time and if she look around the corn sometime maybe you will see a hand out waiting for you and willing and wanting help but if all you guys do it wait for T all the time then you will be left disappointed sometime. You should have other support for when is not around.

Originally Posted by 02221983

If this website if for support what with all the judgments and name calling…..she about her H plenty of time and if she look around the corn sometime maybe you will see a hand out waiting for you and willing and wanting help but if all you guys do it wait for T all the time then you will be left disappointed sometime. You should have other support for when is not around.

I guess since you once posted "Help-- I can't stop thinking about my T" you would know all about that, right?

Don't say "all you guys" because you wouldn't know what the **** is going on in anyone's life past what you see on this board.

[lifelesstraveled]

what's going on here??? I don't know how to quote the othe replies in this thread...sorry Im a little slow LOL...but can we please stop with the judgements and not so supportive comments and the ........((((pink))))) needs her T....I can completely OVERstand....but I won't admit it to T. I come here because these guys OVERstand that concept...especially if you feel like you have no one but T to talk to (i.e. me). 0221983 This is Pink's thread and she is entitled to rant about missin and needing her T....Lord knows i have in couple of self started threads. Sometimes you can channel your energy into other things and still need T.

(((((pink)))) I assume you are antsy waiting on T and needing to talk to him....I am antsy to see my T and I have to wait til Feb and yall will prob be seeing more threads to come...well i could go sooner if I wasnt so weak and afraid to ask for some kind of arrangement, but thats a story for another day. and please don't bite my head off.... I am PETRIFIED of confrontations even on the internet LOL...Do you think you could possibly ignore the comments in your thread that ummm frustrate you???

I really hope your T calls you

[krazibean]

In my opinion, I think support isn't just about saying what the person wants to hear. I know i'm going to get attacked for this, but i don't think what 02221983 first said was unsupportive. I think he was just sending suggestions about how to deal, and a good one at that. When your T can't be there, go to the people closest to you in your life. I can see getting a little defensive when he said you spend a lot of time thinking about your T (cause i would too, because it's true), but i actually think redirecting your focus is a healthy thing to do. He was even supportive at the end suggesting to take care of yourself. I'm not sure why everyone jumped on that. Thats just my opinion, and i'm sure since it doesn't agree with most of yours i will get bashed

[deliquesce]

Originally Posted by krazibean

In my opinion, I think support isn't just about saying what the person wants to hear. I know i'm going to get attacked for this, but i don't think what 02221983 first said was unsupportive. I think he was just sending suggestions about how to deal, and a good one at that. When your T can't be there, go to the people closest to you in your life. I can see getting a little defensive when he said you spend a lot of time thinking about your T (cause i would too, because it's true), but i actually think redirecting your focus is a healthy thing to do. He was even supportive at the end suggesting to take care of yourself. I'm not sure why everyone jumped on that. Thats just my opinion, and i'm sure since it doesn't agree with most of yours i will get bashed

krazibean - i do agree. when i was in a relationship (way back when, lol) it would have helped me if someone had redirected me to my partner. i dont think 02221983's original post was unsupportive - quite the opposite, in fact. i do think the rest became out of hand, though.

[pegasus]

Originally Posted by deliquesce

oh good. how do you report a post? i have been trying to figure it out.

Any post can be reported by clicking on the little notepad thingy on the left. Or you can send a PM direct to any of the Admin team, or to the moderator of the forum.

[lifelesstraveled]

Originally Posted by krazibean

In my opinion, I think support isn't just about saying what the person wants to hear. I know i'm going to get attacked for this, but i don't think what 02221983 first said was unsupportive. I think he was just sending suggestions about how to deal, and a good one at that. When your T can't be there, go to the people closest to you in your life. I can see getting a little defensive when he said you spend a lot of time thinking about your T (cause i would too, because it's true), but i actually think redirecting your focus is a healthy thing to do. He was even supportive at the end suggesting to take care of yourself. I'm not sure why everyone jumped on that. Thats just my opinion, and i'm sure since it doesn't agree with most of yours i will get bashed

I agree too. But I am sure Pink knows this ( i am not trying to speak for you pink). It can still be hard though (I have only been in therapy since Oct but I miss my need and need her right now as I really have no one else I can talk to right now). I am not expecting a call from my T but I am sitting here really needing her right now...I can distract myself all day but that doesnt take away from the fact that I need her. I am not sure to the extent to which pink needs hers, but its all relative. I dont know I just think she is entitled to rant here---its her thread. I assume she is doing other things than sitting by a phone waiting. I am sure she is just posting intermittenly to update everyone. I dont know.... I think I am going to stop here...

[deliquesce]

Originally Posted by pegasus

Any post can be reported by clicking on the little notepad thingy on the left. Or you can send a PM direct to any of the Admin team, or to the moderator of the forum.

thank you, pegasus!! i had never noticed the notepad thingy before .

[krazibean]

I agree too. But I am sure Pink knows this ( i am not trying to speak for you pink). It can still be hard though (I have only been in therapy since Oct but I miss my need and need her right now as I really have no one else I can talk to right now). I am not expecting a call from my T but I am sitting here really needing her right now...I can distract myself all day but that doesnt take away from the fact that I need her. I am not sure to the extent to which pink needs hers, but its all relative. I dont know I just think she is entitled to rant here---its her thread. I assume she is doing other things than sitting by a phone waiting. I am sure she is just posting intermittenly to update everyone. I dont know.... I think I am going to stop here...

Yes, of course it's still hard, and yes she is very well entitled to rant about missing T, we all do. But i was just saying 022...'s suggestion wasn't unsupportive, but maybe not what everyone wanted to hear. Suggestions aren't always easy and yes it is so overwhelming when you miss your T (i do right now) but i'm open to hearing what people suggest even if it doesn't work for me, it's still nice that people try because they care.

[deliquesce]

just chiming in to say i agree with krazibean .

back on topic: i'm right with you pinksoil, but for me it's 'come on, pdoc'. although, unlike you, i haven't actually left a message yet. he told me that we'd speak in the new year... and to message him when i'm available... but i'm a bit shy... and am just hoping he remembers me. haha, idiot deli.

[sabby]

I can totally appreciate everyone's feelings and thoughts on this subject, but I must kindly request that we keep our comments respectful in responding to all members.

Thanks so much!

sabby

((((((((((((((((((((((pink!!!!!!!!!!!!!!))))))))))))))))))))))))))

Has he called yet? I hate waiting for calls from T. It can be so excruciating.

I hope you hear from him soon.

8/2/8!!!!

[MINIME]

I am lucky that my T's and I have talked about phone calls. My reg T says its best to call her before her lunch as she can call back, and she will call me and tell me if sh cant talk to me that day and will call the next. She never makes me feel hurried if she is in a hurry she tells me she has a couple of miniuts because I dont like feeling rushed. She tells me when she is going to be gone and what time of day she usually leaves on each weekday. Because I told her that when I call and she doenst call back it feels like a rejection and even though I know its not my brain will glue on to that. So she tries hard. I tell her if i need her to call back and if I dont. She is good about that except once I had a promise of safety and I made sure not to call her because I figured the contract was over and if i called her she would make me promise her again and I was having a hard time having flashbacks and I need to do certain things to keep myself grounded and she doesnt want me to. So i didnt call her and she called me to extend the promise. UGG.
My emdr t and I have a system and she gets back to me usually every single tim even if its late. I have ways of getting her to call me sooner if needed. She is the intake coordinator who is a therapist but does intakes all day and has a few clients she picks and has more flexiability.
The reason I am saying this is to say that maybe talking to your T's would be a great help. I know I am lucky with my T's expecially for public mental health (community mental health).
i hated the waiting and wondering because by the time I talked to them about what I called about I was so triggered from the waiting. I need to be able to talk to them when things get yucky...I have three kids and I am a single mom and I have to be able to focus and be safe and when I get triggered or have severe flashbacks I cant afford to fall back into old patterns.
Any way pink sorry to talk so much im just trying to help. ((HUG))