[Brian37]

thats the wooden sign above her desk

I have an appointment at 5 today...have a few things on my mind

been very busy at work, never enuff hours in the day to complete it all

spring has sprung, my yard is a weed patch and my cherry tree is full of bagworms already

im attending SAA meetings now...amazing how the internet has driven so many men into the world of pornography...very few professional therapists will admit they are not able to
treat this new area of addiction...mine included, she can listen, but doesnt have the expertise to offer solutions

at the end of last session I admitted I was still "madly obsessed" with my old therapist

my new therapist agreed...I think she wanted me to bring it up on my own

she gave me permission to think about her during the day...like I dont already do that?

she might be able to give me some better insight, because they actually know each other, which is quite weird...of course she will play the "mind" card and tell me I only know her from the time we spent in session....yeah, yeah,

I only know my wife from the times we sat in a restaurant or in her bed because thats all we did while dating....now were married and we do nothing but argue, go figure

just a few more ramblings...

about one third of all Americans flush the toilet while they're still on it...

Cigna Insurance had 1.16 billion in total profit in 2006, but has the lowest reimbursement rate for mental health providers in the industry....( sign of the times?)...My psychiatrist is
now offering cash paying customers "huge discounts", because Insurance companies pay so little

my therapist charges 150.00/hour but my ins. (Anthem) reimburses her 69.23$....

maybe she only gives me 69.23 $ worth of therapy then instead of 150.00???

i need to go...

eat right, live long, and prosper!....(insert pic of Spock here )

[sittingatwatersedge]

Originally Posted by Brian37

my therapist charges 150.00/hour but my ins. (Anthem) reimburses her 69.23$....

... and twenty three cents Brian?! they pay some nimrod to come with a figure like that?!

if you pay the rest, she is giving you $150 worth. Or ... if you are like me... you may be obliging her to give you $300 worth
(plus 23 cents of course)

[Sannah]

Addictions are for avoiding life. Figure out what you are trying to avoid and then figure out why...............

[peaches100]

Addictions can also mask anxiety.

I like your "ramblings," complete with trivial tidbits!

I also like your t's sign. . . it sounds like she's a person who really wants to get under the surface and know somebody, not rush them out the door.

What I HATE is the automatically flusing toilets that flush before you're done and then spray you in the process. and

[rainbow8]

I enjoy your posts, Brian! Good luck with your session today. I've gotten obsessed with my Ts too, including the one I'm going to see again in 2 weeks. Can you say more about your situation, or is it in an old thread? I'm pretty new here, and am kind of overwhelmed with the number of threads there are, and all the activity here. I like it, but can't keep up.

Your tidbits are all interesting. Thanks. I agree with Peaches about the toilets that keep flushing every time I move. Also, the water faucets that come on when they feel like it, NOT when you want them to.

Modern technology! Sometimes I long for the good ol' days before disposable everything, and even before computers! Certainly before those so, so annoying phone acrobatics you have to go through when you call a company, in order to get a real live person. I'm always pressing the wrong option when I call the medical insurance company, and end up starting over.

Oops, didn't mean to post my own ramblings in your thread. I hope that's okay.

[pegasus]

Originally Posted by Brian37

eat right, live long, and prosper!....(insert pic of Spock here )

Here ya go!

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by peaches100

Addictions can also mask anxiety.

And addictions help you to avoid your anxiety (and other feelings, therefore, avoiding life.........)

[imapatient]

Originally Posted by Brian37

she might be able to give me some better insight, because they actually know each other, which is quite weird...of course she will play the "mind" card and tell me I only know her from the time we spent in session....
yeah, yeah, I only know my wife from the times we sat in a restaurant or in her bed because thats all we did while dating....now were married and we do nothing but argue, go figure

Humor aside, you are definitely belittling the idea that you didn't/don't have a serious involvement with your ex T. You compare it to your wife and some trivial aspects of relationships--sitting together, dining, and sleeping. What about love, mutual emotional support, sex.....? Your non-random comparisons is ex-T = girlfriend/wife. Off-the-cuff as it is, it’s a striking few sentences.

Originally Posted by Brian37

my therapist charges 150.00/hour but my ins. (Anthem) reimburses her 69.23$.... maybe she only gives me 69.23 $ worth of therapy then instead of 150.00???

You get into interesting territory here for me--someone with a bit of an education in political economy.

It depends of what theory of value you apply to the situation. E.g. , the labor theory of value.

In terms of opportunity costs and a market theory of value, the value she gives you is the value she would get from seeing a patient paying $150 in full--a hypothetical patient who she could be seeing in place of you.

[Brian37]

imapatient, I think your right on track with my ex-therapist, unfortunately yestersday session unfolded without her name being mentioned (which was a good thing)

but as you stated the involvement was deeper than I was willing to accept

I think being the only male in this forum ( at least I never see many other men here)
that my transference was double what a female client might have for her therapist regardless of the sex of the therapist

men are wired differently and I wired myself to believe that she was truly a "friend" , or hate to say "girlfriend"

plenty of material for next weeks session

[Sannah]

Originally Posted by Brian37

men are wired differently and I wired myself to believe that she was truly a "friend" , or hate to say "girlfriend"

I think you just go there to avoid your feelings.............

[imapatient]

Originally Posted by Brian37

I think being the only male in this forum ( at least I never see many other men here)that my transference was double what a female client might have for her therapist regardless of the sex of the therapist

I am a male.

I had an attraction to an old T that we didn't get past; the transference was too strong and having SA issues with my mother and other things with her. I had a difficult termination with her 4 years ago when the strength of the transference came more into view with some stuff I’d written brought to her attention by a former GF who was staling me. We should’ve terminated years earlier; the wall was too high and too heavy to get beyond

That’s why I was so struck by your comment—I can sorta relate. I became very sensitive to recognizing and seriously thinking about those sorts of seemingly—but not--innocuous comments.

With the abusive stuff with my mother being at the center of my identity, seeing a female T was greatly helpful for me—more than a male T could’ve been for a lot of it. Transference was provoked more with her hence able to be worked on. But seeing a female T—or just her—became counterproductive later on. I have had 2 male T’s (2 years and 2+ years) and have never had a really strong connection via transference at all, though greatly helped by the latter/current one in many ways.

[Brian37]

oh geesh...I feel like a fool now....didnt know you were male also

good to hear someone else had the same problem

personally I could never see a male therapist....I just find them "creepy"...

anyway I intend to work on this problem with my new therapist...I have no choice

[pegasus]

((((( Brian ))))))

I remember you talking about your former therapist before and in my opinion your feelings for her were pretty 'normal.' You felt love and connection with her which could have been mistaken for 'sex.' But you didn't try and jump on her did you? Most therapists know how to handle this transference, encourage talking about it but your T didn't know how to handle it. Please don't blame yourself for this. Continue to discuss it with your current therapist, work through it and you'll find a good connection with this one too.

[sunrise]

Originally Posted by Brian37

I think being the only male in this forum ( at least I never see many other men here)

Brian, there are a few men in this forum, but you probably can't tell unless you hang here often. But, you are not alone. I appreciate the presence of the men!