Emotional termoil and pain

Hello
I found this site by researching the Sexual additions files
I am in so much distress over things that are going on in my life right now
I just need somewhere to go to talk about all this
This guy I have been involved with for the last 4-5years is in trouble for a situation that accorded 11 years aggo
He is being accused of agrevated sexual assualt of 2girls
Their is a whole story here that is too much to get into, but I want to believe him, and knowing the circumstances from back then, I did believe him
However, now I have this big Knot in my stomach
I found pictures of explicite nature on his computer
Some were pictures of him masturbating
Others were pictures of girls
Ii went to check his mail and the phone bill was there
His phone service has been shut off because of lack of payment
This is not the first time his phone was shut off
I have helped him out financially to try and get him back on his feet
I was curious on the calls made to the same number in california
I called the number and it turns out to be a Man Hole gay chat line
I am so sick over all of this,

I just needed to get this out, but it is so very painful
I can't function, I have no ambitions to life anymore
How do I move on, how do I still support him,
I just don't have it in me
I know that he is a sick man with probably a sexual disorder
But I don't want to believe it, I guess I am in denial

I am crying so hard right now, and it is hard to even type this
So I will end with this

Thank You for just being there

Wow! What a huge blow to you!

This is a very important thing you have learned and now have to come to terms with.

What are the options that you have thought of for dealing with this?

Wherever you go, there you are

I don't know, Yes it is a big blow and i just can't believe it, I don't want to believe it. What am I suppose to think
Right now I am having a real hard time just functioning

Oh Sweetie, You need a big hug right now. You are in denial from what you are saying and feeling but that is normal. You have just had a huge shock and it will take some time to come to terms with all this. Give yourself some time and keep seeking help.

You have seen all the signs now and he is sick. I understand not knowing if you have it in you to support him. That is up to you. He needs serious help and even then, things of this nature...well I will be the first to say I couldn't stand by him.

We are here and we are listening. We can offer support, compassion and understanding. Keep coming here and talking to us. There are alot of great people here with good hearts.

You DONT need to rush into any decisions or even work on a plan of action just yet. Let things absorb first and come to terms with what you are dealing with. Decisions and action can be taken when you are prepared.

I can't even express how my heart goes out to you right now. I am sending very warm hugs to you.
Heidu

The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it.
John Ruskin

I forgot to add there are listings of resources for you to read on this site. Click on the resource directory and you should find some information that may help you.
Heidu

The highest reward for a person's toil is not what they get for it, but what they become by it.
John Ruskin

I can understand why you have lost faith in this man. But, as others have said he is ill and needs help. Please remember that despite his actions to the contrary he may be a good person underneath that has made some bad choices and things are out of control for him.

You are the only one that can decide if you want to be there to support and help him. Clearly a relationship between the two of you is likely to be lost forever.

But, speaking as someone on the other side of this issue he is likely to be very depressed, sad, isolated, humiliated, embarrassed of what he has done, often times suicidal. One way or the other, whether it is you or someone else, he needs someone to be nonjudgemental and to suport him to get the help he needs.

I sent you a PM with more background information. I hope it helps you.

Heidu is right. This is not a time to make decisions.

There is probably going to be a lot more to the story.

Give yourself a chance to let the dust settle. The path may become clear with time.

I am going to have to stay away from commenting further. Your story is much too close to one that affected a couple I work with. I am very prejudiced and cannot be a fair commentator.

Wherever you go, there you are

Dear Lost: I have made the mistake of refusing to listen to my gut before, and it has cost me dearly... Best of luck to you with this. Warmest regards, Peanut

<font color=blue>HI FROM PEANUT</font color=blue>

In the end this man will go through the emotional, turmoil and pain as well. I know because I am there.

It is supposed to get easier, but it gets only harder. I carry so much shame and guilt for what I have done.

And, I lost the best friend I eve had. Makes me physically ill. EAch and every day is a chore, a burden. I am feeling so much stress today, tightness in my chest... I miss my ex girl friend so much. It is so very ahrd. This situation is tough on all involved.

Hi lostfaith - (((HUGS))) to you sweetie.

I really don't have much to add from what the others have stated. But I do want to tell you I'm glad you came here. This is a great group of people, so don't ever feel afraid to post and reply.

I'm sorry your in this situation - and it's not your fault. The best we can do, any of us, is to take people at their word and watch their actions and put 2 and 2 together.

And while I don't want to inflict any futher pain upon you (am actually hoping to spare you some) your post stated this deal with the two girls happened 11 years ago, and yet, you found content on his pc, even of himself.

I agree, it seems he is ill, but that doesn't mean you have to be cursed (hmmm .. for lack of a better word) because of it. Perhaps - we could introduce you to Kyle?

An incredible thing about humans is - they can change. They have to want to, and the sad thing is, it is way too often most don't. From 11 years ago to now - it seems this guy hasn't changed.

Take back your life sweetie - Take care of you.

You're precious.

Your friend Sam

I feel for you

just a simple word... FEELINGS OVER TRUTH
What I am trying to tell you is this dont allow your feeling to control the truth in this matter...