Do long distance relationships workor is this even a long distance "relationship"

Well i don't know where to start. Just wondering do long distance relationships work?

Recently I've found myself become really attached to my best friend who i met online. We've been friends online for the past maybe 4 years so it's not some random guy I just chatted to. In the past few months I've completely fallen for him. We just always get on so well together and when he was having relationship problems recently and was looking for advice for me, it totally frustrated me and thats when i think i realised my feeling towards him had changed to being somethingmore.

So now we're both single for the first time at the same time and it seems he's realised his feelings towards me are much stronger than he thought also. We'll spend hours on the phone or on skype or chatting online The phone sex is amazing, everything with him just feels so right except hes on the other side of the world some five thousand miles away. He'll text message me during the day just to see how my day is going and he'll instantly know by my reply whether i'm having a good or bad day and know exactly what to say to make me feel better. I've never felt like this about any guy before so i'm just so confused.

It probably sounds so crazy or makes me sound so crazy but i can't help the way i feel. I just don't know what to do. I feel he's my soulmate and would love to have some cuddles and see where things would go. I'm 29 hes 21

Hello, fieryfox. Five thousand miles is a long distance.

YES it is isn't it

Long distance relationships are very very difficult. I know, I was in one.

It takes so much patience to continue a relationship at that distance. It's wonderful and exciting in the beginning. If you end up considering taking it further and meeting, it's great fun, but it's expensive. When you end up having to leave each other to go back home, it's sad and depressing.

It takes very special people with great understanding, patience and a drive to be together. While you may have that in the beginning, there are many things that can tear it down along the way.

Please go carefully. I'm glad you are happy with this man so far. Don't forget that people from other countries have very different ideals and beliefs. What sounds awesome on the phone or online may not be so awesome in person.

I wish you both well in your endeavor. I'm sorry to be negative, but you really should have an idea about how difficult these kinds of relationships can be.

I can say that I don't regret having fallen in love with a man from eastern Europe....when it was good....it was awesome! Unfortunately, things got very complicated and drawn out and he gave up on things because it was "too hard" for him. Hmmm...it wasn't a cakewalk for me either LOL.

Be well!
sabby

OMG BOOK AND TICKET AND SEE HIM!!!
They work but they don't work for a long amount of time... One of you should fly to the other person and just be together forever because it all seems so wonderful <333333333333

I was also in a long distance relationship. Mine was for four years, and we recently ended it by both of us moving to the Midwest for his job. We had it a bit easier because we were long distance for college but were both from the same town, so we got to go home to visit our parents and each other. He did do a study abroad in Germany for a semester, and that was a lot harder than the Midwest US to East Coast US (he went to college in the Midwest, too).

Sabby knows what she's talking about. LDR's are very difficult, but also very rewarding. They can be expensive. They can be draining. But they can be wonderful. I love my boyfriend and I'm glad that we went through everything that we did. The distance forces you to learn more about a person simply because all you have for each other right now are words. You really begin to understand how a person thinks and feels.

I agree that you should probably try to meet him. One of you could fly to the other, or you both could try to meet some where in the middle. Make sure you take all the necessary precautions, like letting friends or family know whats going on and where you going, and get your own hotel room so you have somewhere safe and private to go if things don't work out the way you want them to. It's true, things can be very different in person than online or on the phone. I hope you two are at least able to webcam!

Long distance relationships work when both people truly want them to and want to end the distance some way or another.

Good luck! Feel free to PM me if you want to talk further.

I don't think one can have a relationship without the physical and face-to-face aspect and shared experiences in real time AND space. At the moment, sounds like you have yourself a really good online friend.

I agree with Sabby, Byz & Perna...though you have given me a great new concept for a new design of phone...

Rhia

My wife and I are in a long distance relationship. Today is the first day of our twenty-third year of long distance. so it can work. The love is easy but everything else is challenging. I would say that our happiness and success have come primarily from communication and commitment. We talk usually talk five or six times a day, sometimes more but never less than three. We write letters two to five times a week. We are twelve hours away from each other but I make the drive to see her once a week.

If it is love you make any sacrifice. If it might be love, then you make any sacrifice to find out.

Long Distance relationships can work if you want them too. My parents were in a long distance relationship for 7 years until they got married and moved in together. My cousin has also been in a long distance relationship for the past two years, he is 17 and takes a plane up on some holidays and her birthday every year, so if you want to make it work it can.

Is there anyway that one of you at least visit the other one? then probably you can make decisions....one way or another.....you guys are young....so, if you guys like each other, then one of you can move.....If that is not an option then, why do you bother yourself at all?

From experience, I can tell you, that my long distance relationship did [and still does] work. If you love someone nothing can separate you, it's a struggle, and definitely not for everyone, but when it's true it can work. My boyfriend and I lived 600 miles apart for a year, and we are still going strong together. Let me tell you though, being that far apart, and then being close enough to see eachother each day, changes the relationship greatly. Sometimes for the better, and sometimes for the worst.

Thanks for all the replies The majority seem to say go for it or at least go see what happens so thats good to hear. Unfortunatlely meeting up isn't on the cards at the moment as we both have out vacation times used up all ready for the year, but who knows, if i could i would just go to him.
Its all just real frustrating, its the other side of the world but just feels so right Maybe i'm crazy but i've never felt like this about anyone before. Even though we talk at least 3 times a day on the phone, just a cuddle would make me feel soooo sooo much better

I am in a long distance relationship too. I have known him for almost 14 years now (we met online) We both ended our marriages a couple years ago and decided to meet in person for the first time last summer. I didn't think I could possibly feel more for him, but I did. It was like fireworks in every aspect. We've been seeing eachother every 2 months for the past year, text eachother throughout the day and talk on Skype every night. He actually proposed to me last November. The problem is that with my trust issues, I am finding it almost impossible to handle being away from him. I am constantly afraid he will meet someone else. He has already almost left me a few times because I can't seem to control my jealousy etc. My advice to you would be to ask yourself, do you REALLY think you can handle a long distance relationship? If you think you feel a lot for this person now, just imagine what you will feel when you actually meet face to face. Long distance is unbelievably hard and once you've gotten a taste of what it's like to actually be with him in person, it'll be even harder. Sorry if I sound like a drag .

yeah they can work. im in one right now and im happy

Can 1 in a 100 million LDR work? Yep. Do 99.9999% fail for all the reasons already mentioned? Yep also. Its nice to dream and believe and talk about how you both will make all the sacrafices and the plans for the future, but when reality has to be dealt with its another world. You can get to know someone over the internet but nothing replaces being together and unless you have the money to travel often, when will you get together? Its possible but know going into it before you really get emotionally involved that your swimming upstream. That being said, enjoy the dream and keep the hope alive. I wish you the best of luck.

With long distance relationships it takes a lot of work and both people must sacrifice the time and money to see one another. Not only this but trust is very important when it has to do with long distance relationship. Long distance relationship is nothing compared to having that personal relationship and being able to have that instant comfort from someone. Long night conversations and chatting could only go so far sooner or later both people must decide if the other person is willing to relocate. The large age gap is also a concern.

I've had a four year long distance relationship about 300 miles away. It took alot of money and time. At the end it didn't work out especially when my ex cheated.

I had a relationship that worked as long as it was at a distance. When I moved to be closer to him, things fell apart. It seems most of the ones listed here as successfull are for the most part work because they were sure they wanted a face-to-face relationship but had to be apart for a while (so maybe with some it was a long while, but my point is it worked with or without the distance)

When you do get a chance to visit face-to-face, make sure it works then. When I visited the person there was something wrong, but he said we were unique and had a unique relationship. After I moved 3,000 miles he decided he didn't want a romatic relationship and I couldn't have just a friendship with him.

They work, if both people are willing to work at it.

I think you need to be very invested and committed not only to the relationship, but in truly communicating. Even though you've known him for that long, you won't truly, truly know him until you've spent some time with him.

I was in a long-distance relationship with my husband...and it ended up that he lied to me about some material issues. Issues that even some of his closest friends didn't know existed. Now, we're struggling with the consequences of that. I keep thinking...if it hadn't been LD, if we'd at least dated for a year in the same city, even if he never outright told me, I would've been able to see with my own eyes what was going on with him.

AT THE SAME TIME...in college, my friend met a boy online, and they had a long-distance international relationship for about 4 to 5 yrs. He then moved to the U.S., they got married, and they're still living happily with two children.

So it *can* work...you just have to be extremely careful. Good luck.

I'm in one, and its working. Though I havnt been in it extreamlly long.

I think that long distance relationships are much more deeper then in person if that makes sence. You actually get to know the person they truelly are. You get a more deeper romantic feeling long distance than in person, at least in my point of veiw.
This long distance relationship i'm in, is the best relationship I have ever had.

It's hard when you have such a strong love for your partner and there so far away, but if you love them that much, you have to try to make it work, even if you dont meet him for a long time, the longer you wait, it just shows how commited you actually are.

I dont care if it took 5 years for me to meet him in person, I'm willing to give it a shot because I actually love him that much.
Alot of people think that how can you love someone so much if you havnt met them in person. But the question really is how can you not love someone who is willing to wait for you, willing to commit and willing to be there for you without being there physically?

FieryFox, your going to wish he was there with you ever second of the day, I feel like that all the time, but when it comes down to it, he's always there for me, maybe not physically, but in my heart, and I'm willing to wait for anyone who is that commited and loves me so much.

I hope everything works out with you and your boyfriend, best of wishes

I wish you the best of luck. With todays technology I do believe it is possible. Just remember the trait hardest to really get a feel for online is emotional stablity.

http://psychcentral.com/lib/2006/the...onships/all/1/
http://www.google.com/search?client=...=Google+Search

Wow I'm amazed by all the responses and peoples stories and imput. Many thanks

Rainbowz, I can toyally understand what you were saying with the "FieryFox, your going to wish he was there with you ever second of the day" I actually do feel like this already. It's amazing the way we seem to be on the one brainwave and he'll know how i'm feeling after a bad day at work or in life in general and tell me the best thing to do even if i'm being stubborn and say no !! " he's always there for me, maybe not physically, but in my heart, and I'm willing to wait for anyone who is that commited and loves me so much." Again Rainbowz i feel like this too ... at the end of the day hes far away but only a text message or a call away and that makes me feel closer to him than to people that live in my own locality. I know this sounds totally crazy but its happened more than once that i've picked up the cell to write a text message and before i've finished writing it i see name on the screen calling me.

All i can think about is him. The saying if it feels right, how could it be wrong keeps playing in my mind

Fieryfox, I was on the same "wavelength" as the the guy in my distance relationship. I knew when he was going to call, even when it was totally out of the blue. There's a funny story about natural phenomenon that showed we were thinking the same thing. Our e-mails and phone conversations talked about deep, meaningful things that we shared.

The problem was that was all he wanted. We were both in our mid 30's and never married. He wanted to be able to tell his friends he had a girlfriend, but he didn't want a physical relationship. We talked about having kids in our e-mails, even discussing names and parenting techniques. After living under the same roof as him for a few months, he decided he didn't want to have kids. I don't want to go into the specifics - that's his responsibility not mine.

In the end, he wanted a close relationship at a distance. The people who say it works have had the close, physical relationship that worked at some point. I never did with him.

I don't want to totally discourage you, but watch for the red flags. There is some truth to "a bird in the hand is worth two in the bush." Eventually the one in the hand will go to the bush, but it's different when you KNOW it will come back because it has already been in your hand.

Dear fieryfox.....
im so sorry that u r going through this. personally, i think that long distance relationships NEVER work. the guy almost always steps away....either because he finds another girl or because he thinks that old committment is somehow holding him back from accomplishments in life. my guy moved to another country and can u believe he stopped talking to me the moment he landed there! he didnt even contact to tell me that he has reached there so u can see guys are like that. i hope u will find some one who will take care of u and will keep u close to himself! tc.