Lying partner

Call me crazy but, I met my current partner on line in an internet chat room. We spoke in MSN for a while and I eventually agreed to meet him. Now the thing is this, he is very kind too and pretty much supportive of my depression, but quite a while in the relationship I found out something purely by chance. Initially, when we met, he told me that he had been dumped as a six week old baby on a door step (Lie 2) first lie he told me was that he was 46 but he is actually 56. He lied about what he does for a living because he thought I wouldnt be interested in some one who only drives fork lifts for a living. Anyway, basically after an argument, I discovered that he was in prison for child sex offences, something that I dont believe he would do anyway just because I know he wouldnt, he also strongly denies doing it anyway . We have obviously sat down and talked about this. He is good to me buuuuuuuuut............ At the moment, with all this going on, I do care for him but not enough, I am beginning to feel that he took advantage of my being vulnerable. Incidentally, the reason I havent kicked him into touch is I believe that people lie all the time, or 'big' themselves up, but am I just being a bit too forgiving or just playing with fire???

Playing with fire. Walk away from this one.

~Dottie

Since this man has lied to you about everything since the beginning why would you believe him about the sex offense. I have found that most people that lie, lie all the time, about everything. I do not see the benefit in lying because the truth eventually comes out. I wish there were more people who feel like I do about lying. We are who we are, and that should be something you can be proud of. If it is not we should change it. It is kind of like cheating at a game. You can say you won, but you know you did not. I dont like being lied to, therefore I do not lie. Definately dont understand why so many people do. If you do not care about this man very much, consider yourself lucy and end the relationship.

playing with fire. i'd throw this one back... it sounds like he was taking advantage of your vulnerability which is worrisome. if he feels the need to lie about basic things then lying about big things would not be a stretch.

as a side note, many child sex offenders strongly deny it but they're still guilty.

hope this works out ok for you, please take care and do what is best for you. ((((((tracy)))))))

-shadow

run, don't walk away from this man. once a liar, always a liar. you could be in danger,also. and no, everyone does not lie to pump themselves up. please take care of yourself.

Leave.

RUN !!!!!!!! If his lips are moving, he is lying...... he has proved that over and over !

***** Initially, when we met, he told me that he had been dumped as a six week old baby on a door step (Lie 2) first lie he told me was that he was 46 but he is actually 56. He lied about what he does for a living because he thought I wouldnt be interested in some one who only drives fork lifts for a living. Anyway, basically after an argument, I discovered that he was in prison for child sex offences, something that I dont believe he would do anyway just because I know he wouldnt, he also strongly denies doing it anyway . We have obviously sat down and talked about this. He is good to me buuuuuuuuut............

please read your words. why would you believe that he was not in prison for child sex offenses? is this a man that you really want in your life. run, run, run.

I dont think you have been too forgiving with this man at all and you shouldnt blame yourself in that way, its him that has told the lies and the one about being abandoned as a child is particularly worrying because its obviously a story that has been created specifically to manipulate YOU. It would be an eye opener for you to question him on this particular lie and gauge is reponses. As far as his child sex offences go, do you think you know better than the jury that convicted him of this crime?

Im really sorry that you have found yourself in this situation, being lied to in the early stages of a relationship is never easy to take, or at any stage for that matter. (And its not just men that lie and lie to make themselves look better!) Having examined his responses to your probing, do you believe this man is a pathological liar? Are you willing to forgive him and more importantly, do you imagine this episode adversely affecting the rest of your relationship with him?

I hope you make the right decision for you.

I agree with everyone else...Get AWAY from this man while you still feel that you don't "care enough" to continue on with him. LEAVE, LEAVE, LEAVE!!!!!

-Jennifer-

Hey, everyone deserves the chance to make a change! Dont be so quick to hang this guy, we know that he has lied but not why he has lied... not that that could possibly excuse it. Only u can be the judge of that, go with your instincts, if hes freaked you out then RUN!!

I hope that you keep yourself safe...everyone deserves a chance, but do you truly want to hang around to figure out the "why" of why he lies? Thinking about you and trusting that you will be safe and secure....

Theres no point in doing that becuause theres no point in sticking around with a liar by default, but it would be beneficial (perhaps?) to find out why he lied and if thats a feature of who he is. Im talking abouit subtle clues in his body language and eyes that can help you to make your mind up about his true nature.

Once a liar, always a liar, what utter nonsense! We ALL lie in different points in our lives. I lied to my first girlfriend that i wasnt a virgin and that i was actually a pro! And the difference here is that he told these lies at the very beginning as part of his 'mating ritual', to make himself appear younger and more attractive to a younger woman (lie about the age and occupation), to create an emotional bond with her (lie about childhood abandonment) and concealing his spell behind bars (gut wrenching). Its seriously wack, inexcusable and untakebackable, but its early days in the relationship and whos to say that this guy cannot be a lovely, caring and honest partner from herein?

FOr the life of me, I cannot understand why any woman would want to know the "why" of his lies - he was in prison for child sex abuse for heavens sake.(Perhaps thats the loving, caring part of him) A lie about ones age, ok - so he was trying to "reel her in", a lie about being abandoned shortly after birth, perhaps to win her sympathy, lied about his occupation, perhaps to make himself look better than he is (NOTHING wrong with fork lift operators - so why lie about it?)............again, IMHO - if his lips are moving, he is lying..........RUN !!!!!!!!!!

But i will stick by my guns and say that theres a difference between lying and being a liar, of course you need to have lied to be a liar but you can also tell lies and not be a liar! But theres an extra factor here that makes him a no no , but then jesus would say... he would say its time for bed.

a liar is just one that tells lies. i get the lying about the age although i think that was wrong. i can -almost- understand lying about his occupation even though i think that's silly. however, lying about being left on a doorstep? why?? to create sympathy so she sticks around...that sounds a lot like playing her vulnerabilities. his pattern of behavior indicates an unwillingness to share the truth, whatever his reasons.

i agree: leave. run. he's already demonstrated that he can't be trusted...don't wait for him to lie about something that is truly important.

just my opinion,
shadow

too many red flags and untruths...you really should end it now before the attachment becomes stronger. You will always wonder what else he may be hiding. Good luck!

Thanks you good people for the input!! I just needed to get an outside looking situation!! Will let you know

Remember one thing, God never gives us more than we can handle.