How can I tell my mom to stop asking/talking about my dating life....

I'm really fed up with my mom asking me none stop if I date somebody or when I get married and give me speech....I really don't want to talk to her at all....This is too much....
She doesn't stop it....It's not like I don't want to....I just can't find anybody....Doesn't she get it? I have so much stress over finding a partner, then she stir it up and give me more stress.....what the heck? It's unbelievable....
She wants to hook me up with her friend's son in Vancouver....I told her NO....I live in US and I'm not moving to Vancouver....She doesn't see that I have a good job and I don't need a guy....If I want a guy, it's just for companionship....I'm not going to change my life for a guy....then she said...He will come and live in US....I said WHAT? he's 40 years old...hopefully he has a job and a life of his own, he wants to change his life like this for somebody he hasn't seen....of course, it's my mom and probably his mom planning all these....
Then she got mad at me and she said she doesn't know anybody else....I said if you know somebody here in LA, then introduce him to me, not somebody in another country....
I'm so mad right now....I'm mostly mad at myself for being this much clumsy not being able to find a partner for myself, then my mom and my sister keep teasing me and bugging me for that.....I know if even I get married, they won't be happy, they will keep asking me when I get pregnant.....it's always something....
I don't want to be with somebody just to not be single.....I want a guy in my life to understand me, to love me....I don't want to settle just to make my mom happy....
I hope this is her last time to get into my life.....
Marjan

Oh boy ~ you've got one of those, huh? I imagine she's getting anxious for some grandchildren. She might already have some but wants some from YOU too. I don't know what it is about some mothers. They just figure that their children HAVE to be married in order to be "fulfilled." Boy, that couldn't be further from the truth!

Yeah, I was married once -- to a big jerk who controlled my every move. I couldn't leave the house without telling him EXACTLY where I was going - and then he'd call me when I got there to make sure that's where I was!!! Sheesh. The only place I EVER went was my mothers! I stood that nonsense for 26 years (yeah, I know -- I'm nuts) plus alot of other stuff too, and finally divorced the idiot. And I found out that I'm much more fulfilled being SINGLE. Of course not everyone marries kooks like I did either.

I agree with you. Your life should be your own, without outside stressors. Perhaps a nice one on one "chat" with her would do the trick. Just tell her what you said here -- that you don't want to "settle" for just anyone -- that you want to wait for that special "someone" and you don't really care how long it takes -- you have other things to do in the meantime. But while you're waiting, you'd appreciate it if she wouldn't keep trying to set you up with every Joe Blow that appears. Do you think she'd understand??? Or would that upset her? You're gonna have to say something to her or she's going to keep it up.

I wish you the very best. I hope you can put a stop to it. God bless. Hugs, Lee

Thanks Leed
You made me laugh....Thanks...I really needed that....It's really useless talking to her....She get so upset....but last night, I told her that I don't want to talk to this dude in Vancouver....She told me last week about this guy and once I said "but he's in Vancouver and I'm in California!"....She flipped....then I didn't continue....last night she called me at 11pm to get my email address to pass it to the mother of the guy....geez....and she's not telling me why she wants my email....I said mom he lives in Vancouver and I dont' see myself to leave my well paid job in California and live in rainy Vancouver! She got angry....and I figured out she doesn't get it....So, I told her to stay away from all these...and it's none of her business....I'm old enough to make my decisions....She said she would not try to find me anybody anymore.....I said "GOOD"....but I know her she said that to punish me, and I know her very soon she will start again....hehehe.....then she said she's going to call my older sister....I know she's going to bug her and then my sister will be on my case....oh boy....
I've been married once and it was a disaster....I don't want to repeat that life anymore....I know if I'm not fully interested in the guy, then nothing will work....
I do online dating here and there, but still no luck.....It's not like I'm sitting at home and doing nothing to find a mate, but it takes time....and I don't want to settle for a less....
I'm glad that you are not in an abusive relationship....I can't even imagine to be with a guy who is so controlling....That's horrible

Good for you!! You knew what to do all along! Of course now you're going to have to holler at your sister, you know. Isn't it awful that sometimes we have to alienate the whole family just to get them to leave us alone??? I don't understand why people like to stick their noses in others affairs. They just have too much TIME on their hands!! I bet I could come up with a list of things for them to do!!

But I think we're supposed to be "nice" on these forums so I'd better be quiet. LOL Take care Marjan ~ you're doing a darn good job telling your family all by yourself! Hugs, Lee