[littlebitlost]

Hi all. I just want to know if I should try and get admitted to give my husband a break I am suicidal and very very not ok. He has to deal with this. I dont know wether I am going to do this or not. I have a small chil, but recently all my faith in my parenting has been shakedn y my unhelpful mother.

Would I be better trying to get admitted, or staying home anf trying to be good and not stress him and be a huge burden??????

Ive never been admitted. I feel shocking never this bad before ever. I love him and he doesnt deserve a fked up crackpot wife like me.

[Direction]

Originally Posted by littlebitlost

I just want to know if I should try and get admitted to give my husband a break I am suicidal and very very not ok. He has to deal with this.

I'm thinking you should go but not to give your husband a break...to get the help you need. Being very very not ok equals time to get the help you need.

[IceCreamKid]

Originally Posted by littlebitlost

Hi all. I just want to know if I should try and get admitted to give my husband a break I am suicidal and very very not ok. He has to deal with this. I dont know wether I am going to do this or not. I have a small chil, but recently all my faith in my parenting has been shakedn y my unhelpful mother.

Would I be better trying to get admitted, or staying home anf trying to be good and not stress him and be a huge burden??????

Ive never been admitted. I feel shocking never this bad before ever. I love him and he doesnt deserve a fked up crackpot wife like me.

Give yourself a break and get the help you need. It isn't about "being good;" when you are ill, you are ill. And ill people deserve to get treatment that will help them. I am sending you encouragement.

You are in my thoughts, littlebitlost.

[Can't Stop Crying]

I think you should go for YOU! You need some support right now and a chance to get back on your feet. I think it would be harder for your husband if you didn't get the help you really need. And the suicidal feelings need to be addressed. The hospital can provide support, adjust meds (if you're on any), give you a brief respite from the demands of life, and give you some good coping skills. You will receive the most benefit if you do this for yourself, rather than because you feel like a burden.

[Yoda]

Originally Posted by littlebitlost

Hi all. I just want to know if I should try and get admitted to give my husband a break I am suicidal and very very not ok.

If you cannot be safe at home then you need to be in a hospital. It isn't much fun there but being safe is what is important?

Can you commit to safety at home? If no, call your physician or you can go to an emergency department.

Have you ever been in a psychiatric hospital? PM me if you have questions or want to talk.

[cyberian_cartoon]

I was in a similar situation and finally broke down and had my wife drive me to the psychiatrist and got a referal. I was hospitalized for over a week. It was the best thing I could have done for myself at that point in time.

[shezbut]

(((littlebitlost)))

What is important is you getting the help that you need to get you through in life. Hope that the lows will be followed by higher times. Hope that you will help your child be the best person that they can be in life. Hope that you will make it through this misery that you've found yourself living in right now.

Try not to blame yourself for being a burden and large stress to your husband. You both made vows to love each other ~ for richer, for poor. In sickness, and in health. You both meant every word that you said, right? This is a time of sickness ~ a hard time that all marriages face (in some way) various times throughout. Devotion to the vows that you both took will get you through these dark times.

Do what you need to do to get yourself out of this dark state of mind that you are suffering from. Gentle hugs to you...

[littlebitlost]

Thanks everyone. I just know that he deserves MUCH better than what is going on at the moment. I have really horrid mood swings and he cops it, I get scared and hide under a doona and he tries to get me out and I freak out, my SI upsets him and when I take anything to make myself feel better that upsets him too.

I know I need to look after my little girl (7yo) because otherwise my ex will get custody and I will never have her back. Im also worried if we do end up in court with my ex, that they will dig and try to show me as an unfit mother.

I have no family support locally apart from my husband, and he's got enough stress. He is jobsearching and going slightly mad from not working, but he's now being the housewife too.

Everything is just fked.

[Direction]

Originally Posted by littlebitlost

I know I need to look after my little girl (7yo) because otherwise my ex will get custody and I will never have her back. Im also worried if we do end up in court with my ex, that they will dig and try to show me as an unfit mother.

Just a thought on this fear about getting help vs. psych help and custody...it is much, much better to show a track record of getting help for whatever issues then it is to have nothing and an ex-spouse show up with documentation about a,b,c.

Unless you are really creating an unsafe or neglectful place, I think it would be really hard to remove custody or visitation rights especially if you are addressing your issues. Thinking like a judge (which I'm not)...if I were to restore custody or visitation to someone, what would I like to see first before that happens...

[Emotionally Dead]

Hi there, very sorry you're going through this. However, at a time like this you need to be thinking of YOURSELF first. You do need to go get checked out by the hospital, they might be able to help you out and even save your life. Your husband seems like a caring man, and I know nothing about him, but just the way you talk about him and how you think that he doesn't deserve this I can tell. You're the one who doesn't deserve this, and I think he knows that and cares for you and would want you to go for YOU, not for him, to keep you safe.

Wishing you the best.

[Korin]

Are you on any meds? There is some decent meds around for depression SI and anxiety. But you must speak with someone to get this kind of help. I do sympathise. I put my husband through quite a bit before I got things sorted.

[dragonfly2]

I have to agree with Direction - being there for your little girl means taking care of your health and doing what you need to do to get better. Showing that you have enough insight left to realize when you need more intensive care is a huge sign of being a FIT parent.

I'm not sure how they are in Australia (assuming QLD=Queensland?), but here in the US psych hospitals aren't all that bad for the most part. As frightening as the unknown can be, it can be a safe place for you to heal. It can also give your husband a safe place to share his concerns about your illness and help the two of you become stronger as a family. He will probably find it LESS stressful knowing that you are safe in the hospital. I have been hospitalized eight times and have only had one bad experience with a hospital. The vast majority of my hospitalizations have been very helpful and going was definitely the right thing to do.

I hope you are able to find health and peace soon.

[littlebitlost]

Thanks guys. I am now coming off benzos and am not doing so well. Sui thoughts are more clear. Reality sucks. Using support chat a lot.

Thanks for caring. It means a lot. I feel so alone.