[OurLadysTears]

I'm sick of every relationship resulting in the grass is greener on the other side. It is either significant others having trouble letting go of a girl from their past, always looking at other females and desiring them, or whatever else you can think up.. you name it. I'm tired of hearing people who are so into finding someone based on looks and so tired of hearing people belittle those who don't look like supermodels. So many times I've heard men say, "I'm tired of only getting fat chics!" I'm not just trying to attack guys, because I know some women can be just as cruel. I'm just tired of feeling like I'm always in a competition. Is there ever a point where people can just be content with what they have? I've rarely come across a couple who is content with one another. Anyone else feel this way?

[danii24]

yep i do,

I know a lot of couples that constintly ***** and snide at each other and i do think y the heel r u's together. I knew a couple where the fella constintly made remarks about other women infront of his girl frnd. i think some times y r u's together.#

I also know people who completely judge people on looks and that kinda s**t it annoys me. often u see nice people getting hard done by in relationships.

I dnt do relationships myself but i spend alot of time analising others and tink with some of them whats the point in this!!

[LazyLogophile]

Amen!

I can relate, and I'm glad I'm not the only one who needs to vent these frustrations from time to time. I don't know any guys who can "only get fat chicks", but I do know guys who are too scared to talk to women, or are convinced that women just don't like them. I know content couples, but they are VERY few. Most couples that I know are in an on-going battle to maintain some sort of harmony with each other. No one can be content all the time, or things would be boring. On the other hand, I don't think the majority of people are given tools to cope with discontent...so instead of issues becoming valuable learning experiences, they become huge problems that fester into a giant problem and soon pop. I have seen content couples have problems, and I am floored every time. They are always so calm about it, rarely loose their tempers or let ego get in the way, and by some miracle they manage to talk out their problems very effectively (even if it takes a few days).

Unfortunately, I am not in one of these magical relationships. I'm too dysfunctional for that. But I admire those people who WERE raised in a home where conflict resolution was taught, emotional and financial support given, and education was paramount. As for the rest of us, well, we come from a long line of screwed-up people and we all just have to work REALLY hard to break our bad habits and stay positive about our sh*tty life choices.

Or we can continue to moan about the grass being greener...

Good post!

[danii24]

most people dont no how to deal with conflict because usually people avoid it instead of actually learning how to deal with it. because i bit of conflict is actually ok. OMG i have know couples to fight over stupid things which blow up into huge things.

Some times i feel like sayn "gt a life". at least they can do relationships why cant people stop taken each other for granted and actually realise that they have some 1. its so annoying to hear couples ***** and moan at each other. i would love to be able to get close to some1 and when they give out bout each other i think i would give ne thing to allow myself to have what us have so cop on !!

[OurLadysTears]

I don't expect a relationship to be perfect. I know that at times they can be hard work, but I'm tired of feeling like it has to be a competition to keep your significant others attention. It sucks because I was even in a relationship with a man with two children and they would even bring up ex's in comparison because they realized it would stimulate a reaction. I realize you can't blame a child for such situation, but shoot, you can't win for nothing! I feel like I have to take a superwoman pill to be placed on top priority here!

[JillMagso]

Have any of you heard of the Law of Attraction?
The basics is that you get what you put out there.
I don't know if this is the "answer" to your complaints about partners never being satisfied, but if you have negative thoughts about yourself not being the ideal or good enough, you get negative vibes in return.

[OurLadysTears]

I can't argue with that, JillMagso! I definitely think that has a lot to do with it. But there are some instances where crap happens even if you do put out a positive vibe.

[kitten16]

OMG, you have guy friends that actually talk like that in front of you? Sheesh, these a-holes need to be kicked to the curb. the problem isn't you, of course, it's them. They're either a bunch of callous, clueless douches, and/or they're trying to get a rise out of you.

Don't let guys talk like that in your hearing. You're a lady - it's in your handle. If these guys are family members, tell them you won't listen to crap like that and leave the room. If these guys are your friends, you should get new friends - because you deserve better than this.

When men do this in women's hearing, there's more than meets they eye- they have an agenda - they want to shock you or belittle you by association, and it's really bad news. My sympathies are with you!

Originally Posted by OurLadysTears

I'm sick of every relationship resulting in the grass is greener on the other side. It is either significant others having trouble letting go of a girl from their past, always looking at other females and desiring them, or whatever else you can think up.. you name it. I'm tired of hearing people who are so into finding someone based on looks and so tired of hearing people belittle those who don't look like supermodels. So many times I've heard men say, "I'm tired of only getting fat chics!" I'm not just trying to attack guys, because I know some women can be just as cruel. I'm just tired of feeling like I'm always in a competition. Is there ever a point where people can just be content with what they have? I've rarely come across a couple who is content with one another. Anyone else feel this way?

[kitten16]

Oh dear, this was the guy you were with saying these things? Who said the stuff about "All I can get is fat chicks?" That wasn't your boyfriend, was it?

I can relate about guys who moon over their exes. If a guy like that is fresh from a breakup, he's not emotionally available. You gotta pass on dudes like that - the timing is off, and you could be Catherine Deneuve and it wouldn't work out. They're not ready.

And some guys are into making whoever they're with feel like $hit on a stick by forcing comparisons all the time to keep you unsure and off balance. Been there, done that. Insecure men do that, and men who are very angry. Just know that it's never about you - it's always about them.

There's a classic book you've probably heard of called Women Who Love Too Much. I recommend it - in fact it's probably time for me to re-read it again!

Originally Posted by OurLadysTears

I don't expect a relationship to be perfect. I know that at times they can be hard work, but I'm tired of feeling like it has to be a competition to keep your significant others attention. It sucks because I was even in a relationship with a man with two children and they would even bring up ex's in comparison because they realized it would stimulate a reaction. I realize you can't blame a child for such situation, but shoot, you can't win for nothing! I feel like I have to take a superwoman pill to be placed on top priority here!

[OurLadysTears]

Kitten, I've had both men fresh from a breakup and men I've been in long term relationships with having trouble forgetting about women of their past. I don't know what it is. I haven't yet met a man who can leave their past behind them and forge forward. I've had men that I've dated who have literally tried to pick up women with me standing right next to them. No, I'm not with someone that has said the fat chic thing to me. I'm at a decent weight, but I've had male friends complain to me about that issue. Right now I am in a relationship that is long distance and I suspect the grass is greener situation is reappearing for the bazillionth time. I just don't feel like I will ever be good enough for anyone.

[protector1973]

women are worse then men, definitly more manipulating, and always going on about size of a guys ****

[danii24]

i find men are quite mean about women and there body shape. ive always felt alienated because of the way men tlk bout womens hair, body, legs, skinny girls, make-up, women drnkn pints, smoking. i suppose women jus do the same thing to men also. i tink it only gets to me because of my own insecurities about myself so i let it get to me if it makes sense

[rissaroo313]

My ex hubby left me for a 17 yr old and that hurts but karma came and bit him on the *** it does get better sweetie

[OurLadysTears]

Some women can get pretty bad too, especially with being manipulative. I'm don't mean to make this seem to aim just at men, but with what I've had to personally experience, my issues have been with men. A lot of people in general are just cruel and selfish. It is really sick.

[JillMagso]

Yes, sometimes crap things still happen, but overall, I think that those are just ways to show us that you really need to focus on your confidence and what you put out in the universe.

[capricorn1975]

To OLT:

Just keep being you and the right one will come along eventually.

Society and t.v. always preaches that we have to be a certain way, and conform to a certain standard.
Anyone who thinks that you have to be just like them isn't worth having anyway.

Just be yourself!

[salukigirl]

I think a lot of people may see feeling content as feeling like they have settled. I know, personally, I feel like I have to have that amazing, butterflies-in-my-stomach all the time because that's what movies and TV tell us should happen. They don't show the Little Mermaid 3 years into the relationship when they argue and feel bored sometimes etc...

I think it's hard to distinguish content from settling but some people will always be looking for the next better thing. Sucks. But it's true.

[salukigirl]

Also - protector - that sounds like a very specific scenario and like you projecting your feelings onto someone else. I have never once had a girl friend tell me she was breaking up with a guy over the size of his penis. I have also never done that.

Originally Posted by protector1973

women are worse then men, definitly more manipulating, and always going on about size of a guys ****

Please don't generalize all women are this way, because WE ARE NOT!

I have insecurities about how I look sometimes, and I keep telling myself, all those perfect looking women in those magazines, have a makeup artist, and hair stylist to make them look like that. It doesn't always make me feel better, but that's the only way I can handle it. How many of them actually style their own hair or do their own makeup? I wonder. I went out a few times with this guy who lives in the next building over from me, and saw his immature ways. He'd point out right in front of me how he likes the look of women's feet, and then told me how much she probably paid for her shoes. I didn't know a guy was supposed to know about women shoe prices. I swear, it was so annoying, like he sat there and researched every brand out there, and how much that brand cost. I asked him why he never complimented me on anything. I'd give him compliments about certain colors looked nice on him. Then he'd go into a rage about why I was annoyed, hmmm i wonder why? I've noticed as I've gotten older, I go for a different type of guy, someone that has to be down to earth, who can make me laugh, just a few I listed here. He can never make plans for us, and tried putting the blame on me for things he was too blame. When I suggested something, he couldn't make up his mind. I'm tired of not finding someone who wants a real relationship.

[OurLadysTears]

Originally Posted by Deborah35

I have insecurities about how I look sometimes, and I keep telling myself, all those perfect looking women in those magazines, have a makeup artist, and hair stylist to make them look like that. It doesn't always make me feel better, but that's the only way I can handle it. How many of them actually style their own hair or do their own makeup? I wonder. I went out a few times with this guy who lives in the next building over from me, and saw his immature ways. He'd point out right in front of me how he likes the look of women's feet, and then told me how much she probably paid for her shoes. I didn't know a guy was supposed to know about women shoe prices. I swear, it was so annoying, like he sat there and researched every brand out there, and how much that brand cost. I asked him why he never complimented me on anything. I'd give him compliments about certain colors looked nice on him. Then he'd go into a rage about why I was annoyed, hmmm i wonder why? I've noticed as I've gotten older, I go for a different type of guy, someone that has to be down to earth, who can make me laugh, just a few I listed here. He can never make plans for us, and tried putting the blame on me for things he was too blame. When I suggested something, he couldn't make up his mind. I'm tired of not finding someone who wants a real relationship.

I see women on a day to day basis with flawless skin and complexion and I envy them. I wish I could have been given the same, but NOPE! I was handed a bad card. I agree with you, I'm also tired of not finding someone who wants a real relationship. It is unsettling.