i just found out i am bisexual!

thats great my life sucks

Luke....you are 13/14. How do you know you are bisexual?
Maybe you are just trying to do whatever it is that takes away from the present pain in your heart?
I have noticed your posts go from one situation like wanting to kill yourself, to drinking and saying you are an alcoholic and now saying you are bisexual.
Have you spoken to anyone at your school? Any adult you can talk to and let them know you have all these things going on in your head?
I know...it is painful.
Please try and help yourself out.

If you are bisexual, that doesn't mean it's the end of the world! Speaking from my standpoint (I am a bisexual), it's not at all that bad. Trust me, it doesn't mean your life is gonna suck. Hey look at it this way, you can double your chances of getting a date!

being bisexual now adays is like finding a penny on the ground. Just be glad it wasnt twenty thirty years ago. Heck, a hundred or so years ago you would have been crucifexed.

It really is normal and doesn't mean anything. Society can be hard on people but hey be an individual.....

Im pulling fo ryou

My bro who is 18 asked me if i would be ashamed if he dated a guy. He is bi. just found out last week. I think no different of him.

Studies show that people who are gay actually are born with I think the left side of their brain bigger. I don't think that we chose, I think we are born that way. Just like being white or black or epliptic or whatever the case. It's a part of being an individual.

unfortunately, my brother is going through the deal where he thinks he is Bi. Honestly, I don't know if you are born a certain way or not, but I don't agree with people who decide to turn Bisexual. It's a denial of reality. Men and Women were meant to be together. Sure, we may have an intimate relationships with the same sex, but that doesn't mean we need to consemate a relationship with sex. Sometimes we confuse intense spiritual/intellectual connections with a desire to phycically unite. But I am not one, so maybe I don't understand.

I know I'm not exactly potically correct

Hey, it ain't all that big a deal. My boyfriend is bi--he's absolutely happy with me (eh, I'm female, btw), I'm happy with him, and I really couldn't care less whether he's had boyfriends or finds other men attractive.

And Mahler, I'm not sure what it means to be "potically correct ", but I'm sure that you aren't whatever it is. Furthermore, I don't believe I've ever had the urge to "phycically unite" with anyone. It sounds painful and as if you'd need a lot of lubricant.

Just joking. LOL, I hate typos. I also really hate narrow minded people, but let's not turn this into a mean-spirited argument, shall we?

ofcourse not, why turn this into a mean spirited debate? I believe what I believe based only on my narrow field of experience. I am a mere 22, I don't know a thing. But I do not that I am not Bi. So I especially can't speak for people who think they are. I just wonder what it feels like to "feel" that it's something intrinsic in you, something that you cannot change, or that is out of your control. All I am saying that if it is within your control, and that you are merely deciding to choose that life-style, then that is what is wrong and unrealistic. I have no clue about the clinical or genetic studies regarding Homosexuality/Bi-Sexuality--or their validity. I am merely speaking of the matter on a choice/preference basis. And, yes, again, if you choose, I suppose that is your right. But all I am saying is, there should be standards in our conduct. But hey, that's just me, what do I know? Am I being unreasonable?

Luke - I see this as being a good thing for 2 reasons:
1) you just doubled your chances of finding a good partner
and
2) better that you find out about it than spending the rest of your life feeling like something is "wrong" or "missing" but not knowing what it is.

Keep an open mind and take some delight in discovering a new part of yourself.

Love,
LMo

I don't think a person chooses their sexual preference, but I really don't care. If a person wants to be with the same sex, the opposite sex, or both sexes (or all sexes, for intersexuals and those who believe gender is a line which we all fall somewhere on, not necessarily the extreme of male or female), what do I care? They're not hurting me.

And I know a lot of lesbians and gay men who physically desire the same sex without having a "spiritual/intellectual connection." And I know people who fall in love with the same sex, and many who feel you don't fall in love with a gender; you fall in love with a person.

???? I'm concerned. If you don't wish to be bisexual, as it sounds in your post, why own it? Having strong feelings for both sexes does not make one bisexual. If you continue to be upset with this "revelation" ... please work to change it so you are comfortable and understanding of your true feelings. Obviously, this is something that makes you unhappy.

well, i know for a fact...ima lesbian...and i just admitted to myself a few days ago but realized it for YEARS! soo maybe hes just scared of the outcome to the world, like i thought..heh.

deb

Ok, now I'm going to sound like I'm contradicting myself, but my recommendation to teenagers is to not be so quick to label yourselves. Just see where your feelings take you; it's not necessary to label yourself as bi or straight or gay at this point. Keep an open mind about who you find yourselves attracted to (and why), and give yourselves a few years to explore. NOBODY knows who they are until they are well into their 20's, and some people STILL don't know who they are. Give yourselves time to figure it out.

LMo,
I disagree...for some people, they already know who they are and why and for what reasons, etc. Coming from experience, believe me, i know..lol. If its been going on for a short time, then yes i do agree with you..figure out yourself, etc...
hope i didnt sound like a b i t c h to you or anything...so sorry if i did lol.

Deb

no problem Deb. I just know that I am a completely different person now at age 36 than I was sure I was at age 16. Everybody changes a lot in their teenage years, particularly after they get to college.

lol, that can be true...

idk..for me though, ive been hiding i am gay since i was 11/12 and wanted to marry allllll my girl teachers since like 2nd grade on---wierd, huh?lol

deb

lol -- ALL of them? You must have some awesome teachers! I hope you're getting straight A's (no pun!)

haha...pretty much...no matter how old they were...haha. and no im not getting straight A's--nowhere near...lol...but they help me so0o0o much thats what makes me start to like them...and i think i like my therapist...haha...sucks..(from my theraputic school) idk...i start to reallllllllllly like them once i get to know them pretty well from school...heh...its a teacher thing i guess,what do u think?lol

deb

yeah, maybe you are attracted to kind authority figures, in general?

btw, I'm not saying that you're not gay. I'm just saying that there is no benefit to putting a label around yourself just yet, unless you find it comforting to do so.

Lol - this reminds me of something Bill Cosby (I think) said during a stand-up routine:
"There is a time and place for everything -- it's called 'college'"

haha...npnp...i respect what your saying, i have no issues with that..lol. yeah, i think im attracted to authority figures..haha. usually older woman too...heh. anyways..this is a funny convo back and forth..haha.

deb

I'm sorry, I know I'm the harshest one here. But let me try to explain something to you guys, maybe you will understand, and maybe you won't....and perhaps you will find something legitimately wrong with what I say. Ok, I believe we all have feminine and masculine qualities whether we are male or female. I could honestly say that there are some guys who I would find strangely attractive, but that does not mean I am gay...just because someone is attractive to me. We are attracted to certain qualities, and some people have those qualities more than others. It just doesn't make sense to me that just because you are attracted in any way to the same sex, that that means you're Bi or Gay. The main difference in Male/Female is the organs...one's got an inny, and another's got an outy. I know that seems a little trite and simple, but we are all unique individuals with certain things attracting us, but can we honestly have attractions based primarily on the organs? Even so...A gay does essentially the same thing with a guy, that he would do with a girl. Attraction is a very complex and possibly confusing thing. And I think people really rely too much on their feelings sometimes. I've imagined for fun what it would be like to be a girl, does that mean I'm gay? I think you just might be taking certain feelings and thoughts to an extreme and making them count for too much. I'm sorry to say, but maybe you just aren't emotionally mature all the way, or maybe you are simply cofused. It's easy to be in this day and age. But gosh, shoot me. I know I will be hated for this.

? why would anyone hate you for that? Makes sense to me.

I don't hate you for it, but I disagree with you. It's possible that what determines your desire for one sex or the other is how much testosterone or how much estrogen you have. I could be wrong. If your attraction doesn't determine your sexuality, then what does?

And not everyone is male or female. There are people who feel they are in-between, even if they have the genitals of one sex. There are also intersexuals, who are also known as hermaphrodites. Sometimes people are born with both sets of organs. And sometimes doctors tell parents to make a choice, and raise the child as one sex, but that doesn't always work out well, because the child sometimes feels like the other sex. I think it's best to wait, and let the child figure it out (maybe into his/her teens). It's even possible the child will decide later in life s/he doesn't want to pick a sex, and is fine as s/he is.

But as for deciding whether you're gay or not, for some, it's something they know early on. For others, it takes a while. Give yourself time.

but, what is the nature of knowledge? What does it mean to know? How many people believe things that aren't true? And they say, "oh, because I know". But, how did you obtain that knowledge? Sometimes we do have to go deeper.