Please Help... How do i walk away from a destructive family cycle

I'm 24 years old and I desperately need help to free myself from this destruction. Please help me understand to how to finally let go and walk away from my abusive father which is an alcoholic. All my life I've taken on the role as protecting my siblings and my mother from being beaten by him. I try so hard to do what I can to not let his drunkness affect all of us. People have told me that I should just let go and let my parents fight and beat on each other because their problems has nothing to do with me. The more I get involved the more hurt I become and I've only wasted my time because my parents have shown that they dont want to change. At this moment in time I've been dignoased with partial complex seizures and more then ever I need the support from people. Just a week ago my dad had gotten drunk again and was about to hit my mother. I heard her scream and as she ran outside of the house I ran back inside to make sure she's okay. Before I knew it as I was trying to get my dad to calm down he was just about to beat me over the head with his glass beer bottle. Just two weeks ago I was in the hospital because of my seizures. How do I stop caring and not to get involved anymore. At this moment in time I can't leave home because of money and transportation. My doctor is advising me and not allowing me to drive right now or work either. Everyone has told me that i need to stop caring and not to get involved anymore. I know that my mom lives in denial and to this day she can't admit to me that dad has ever beaten her. I know that she doesn't appreciate the many times I ran out to protect her from my dad. I know that my parents blame me for everything it is their way to distrack themselves from really dealing with the real problems. I need to focus on myself and take care of myself but how do i when I need to live with such destruction. I feel so trapped. Someone please help me better understand what does it mean to finally let go and accept for what has been done. How do i give myself closure and a resolution when my parents continue to believe that they haven't done anything wrong.

Oh wow, this is a tough one. Although I do not think that people can just stop caring about one another, I do think there is help out there for families that live with the horrible effects of alcoholism.

Try to see if you can't start going to Al-Anon meetings in your area. They usually have the meetings listed in your local newspaper. I'm sure you can also look online for meetings. Getting a therapist would be very helpful, also.

I think those are the two most important steps you can take right now. Another option could be looking for a women's shelter. I don't know what the policies are on them, but I'm sure they would offer you shelter from the abusive situation for awhile.

Try to hang in there and be kind to yourself.

Jenn,

I agree that you should get in contact with as many people that can support you as possible. And just stay focused on getting out of that situation, and before you know it you will be able to. All you need is someone willing to rent out a room to you! And who knows: maybe someone at an Al-anon meeting could help you do that, and perhaps for very little money just to help you out. People want to help!

Meanwhile, the fact that you realize everything that's going on, and how terrible it is, is an act of courage and love and heroism. It is in your hands to not let this cycle continue: you can't force your mother to do anything, but you can at least use what you observe to help others, and make sure you never end up in such a terrible situation. Many people in your shoes would simply find someone who does the same things! I know it is hard to believe, and they (like your mother!) would never admit to doing it, but nonetheless, it happens.

Okay Jenn, I want to end this post on a positive note Stay strong! And don't feel bad about going to a friend's house when things get rough. Or even just get out of the house and go to a coffee shop or something. Or a motel room. Or anything. You come first Remember that. It's not selfish at all! If you don't love yourself, you can't love anyone!

And Jenn,

Don't worry too much about accepting this all right now, especially while you are in the midst of it! It is a very good idea to keep in mind, and it's a very positive sign that you realize that this is a goal, but don't rush it. It's okay to be angry. It's okay to feel your feelings about this. But talk with others. That is very important. Trusting another person enough to tell them your most secret fears and pain will help you so much. This will make your path to healing obvious. You have a very strong person inside you -- you know it.

I to suffer from similar problems in my life. My mother is a crack cocaine addict, and I am always trying to save her.
But what I've learned is I am not a super hero....I'm a human with my own problems. It's taken a very long time, with a lot of struggle and acceptance, but I've finally letting go of her. I'm letting go because if a person truly wants to change.....they will change on their own.

There is nothing no one can do for a person who decides to live that way.

You have your own complications with your health and all, and I would now let go of this burden, and move on in your life.

I really hope this works out for you and you do the right thing...even though it is very very hard.