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I was in the car with my husband. He was driving. We live in a city. On the street we were driving there was another street crossing it. When we got to that intersection there was no stop sign and no crosswalk. But there was 4 people crossing the street. As we got nearer to these people my husband wasn't pushing the brakes. Then I said: "What are you doing? People are crossing the street!" And he replied: " So what? There is no stop sign and no crosswalk. They don't have the right to cross the street. I have the right to keep going." I was pushing an invisible brake on my side. He didn't hit anyone because the people started running to get out of the way and we miss the last one by maybe 4 inches.

Now can someone please make me understand why he did this? Because I can't make sense of this. I don't understand his behavior. Can someone please make me understand.

Your husband sounds like a lot of men that I have known over the years.... they get so bogged down with life and people always taking advantage of them (in their minds) that they just snap and try to take a part of their self worth and rights back.... once again this is the great divide between the difference in males & females.

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

I have also known some women who behave like that

ggggrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrrr

I don't understand either

))))) Time0 ((((((

2 words............................ Anger Management! -


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

I'm not surprised, Angel... What's it going to take for you to leave this man?

{{{{{{{{{{{Time0}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

I am so sorry. That was a horrible thing to happen and for you to experience. I understand the feeling. It is something my ex-husband used to do, and laugh about it.

(((time)))

Thank you all for your replies!

I'm always hoping that tomorrow will not be here for me.

I dont know why he would do such a thing but its crazy and dangerous and im sure very frightening for you.

{{{{{{{{{Time0}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

My invitation is still open!

Why he did that is beyond me! It's like he would rather endanger the lives of other people and scare the heck out of you.

I'm sorry you had to be with him.

Sorry that happened. Maybe he was stressed out or pissed at the moment. Nobody can quite explain his behavior and what he was thinking at the moment accept him. Ask him why he did this....demand an answer.

He bought me flowers.

And I bet those flowers have not taken away the hurt and confusion you feel because of him?

Gentle hugs.

He bought you flowers! I think it might take a bit more that that to make this one go away.

Please take care of yourself

What I wrote in this post is just another thing he does to put on top of all the others that he do.

No, the flowers doesn't take away the pain, doesn't blind me. I know when the flowers will die, also will come the other blow. A circle.

I have one reason to stay with him and one only.

I'm trying to understand his behavior. Trying to see if it's my fault. Trying to change things so maybe he will stop doing this. Just trying and I do try and try.

Thank you!

I feel sure that none of this is your fault, and im also sure you try very hard. I hope in the middle of all this you can take some care of you also.

Lots of kindness and strength going your way.

atg

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time0 said:
What I wrote in this post is just another thing he does to put on top of all the others that he do.

No, the flowers doesn't take away the pain, doesn't blind me. I know when the flowers will die, also will come the other blow. A circle.

I have one reason to stay with him and one only.

I'm trying to understand his behavior. Trying to see if it's my fault. Trying to change things so maybe he will stop doing this. Just trying and I do try and try.

Thank you!

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I know we are worlds and life-time's apart but I feel very close to you right now. Your post above was why I married my first husband. I believed somehow that I could change him, that I could understand. I believed I could make a difference, or see if it was my fault. I knew when we got married that something wasn't quite right. But I believed, above all else ... that I could fix it. I couldn't. I didn't. I blamed myself for years. The guilt was indescribable. The hurt much worse.

My head told me things for years. It was only when my heart and head "met", that I let him go. I did not want to, but I knew that I had to. It was one of the most traumatic and painful "events" in my life. And it brought me to my knees. I thought it was the end. But I survived.

I think that is enough about me ... but I do need to say why I understand what you wrote so well. Your reasons (except for those I don't know) are what mine were. I thought I could try. And try I did. Almost to my death.

Time, I truly empathize with you right now. And you will know what to do.... when you are ready. And it will hurt ... but you will know!

You are enduring so much hurt ... that you do not need to. My heart goes out to you.

I feel that I understand a little more now, after this last post of yours. I have been through this. Please, please ... pm me if you would like ... my thoughts, love and very gentle hugs are with you.

IMHO - I think we are possibly missing the point here....... this reaction from her husband was about him (in every way) and not about her or the love he has for her.......................... he needs to work on his inner emotional issues (past wounds) before he can control the anger she sees from with in him.



LoVe,
Rhapsody -

I cannot agree. Does this kind of anger and aggression show love? Yes, he probably needs to work on these issues ... but will he? and if not ... at who's expense?

I think the anger within him is seen but more than that I feel it is being lived. That is a different matter altogether. And a much more painful one.

I have been in this place. And it hurts more than anything. There was NOTHING that I could do to make *his* feelings easier and mine in the process. I don't know if Time agrees.

Sabrina.... I am not saying that he does not need to work on his problems (for he does) - but what I was saying that his out burst does not in any way reflect upon his love for his wife, but rather at his hate for himself.... A husband can get angry at a person on the street, on the rode driving to slow or next to him at the light - (and) if he yells at them or cuts them off it does not mean he does not LOVE his wife - but rather that he has ANGER management problems.... and we all know that anger is really not the problem at hand, but rather an emotion used to cover up the real issue.

I love YOU all and I am not defending anger in any way or form.... but a husband saying or yelling at another person outside of the car does not reflect on his wife, but rather it reflects on own his character (or lack of it). HE needs help too....

((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ((((((( HUGS )))))))

BTW - I respect your right to your opinion, for I have never walked in the actual shoes of a wife who's husband became physical with her.... I lived through a father that was an alcoholic and a mean one at that (I was his main target), but never a husband.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

Rhap, you are very insightful, and I hated to disagree with you ... but I feel I need to reiterate on your sentence "but a husband saying or yelling at another person outside of the car does not reflect on his wife" ..... My ex did this, on purpose ... at the expense of me ... because he felt *I* invited it. If a man looked at me, I got beaten because of it. It WAS about me, even though I did not deserve or invite it. I somehow sense Time is going through something similar ... but then again ... I may be way off base.

I can only remember my ex-husbands outbursts as being very, very abusive and not in the slightest a way of showing love for me. He did not love me. He loved only himself.

But again, I am hijacking Time's thread.

Time .... We all, are trying to understand.
(And my good friend Rhap, lets take this to pm)

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It WAS about me, even though I did not deserve or invite it. I somehow sense Time is going through something similar ... but then again ... I may be way off base.

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In that case.......................... ((((((( HUGS ))))))) ~ ~ & ~ ~ (((((((( COMFORT ))))))) to YOU both.... and with my last post I will say in general (unless there are other circumstance unknown) most men that act this way is showing their own short comings, and not that of hers.

> > > > > > > PeAcE.


LoVe,
Rhapsody -

Thank you so much for seeing it from this point of view and for trying to understand.

I DO agree with your generalized statement, believe it or not.

You are very special for always seeing another's position and point of view before becoming offended.

Time .... my heart is with you ... and I am sorry for dominating your thread.

Sabrina, you are so right on in knowing or sensing what is going on with our dear Time0.

I was married to a man like Time0's husband. It's not OUR fault and it's not so much that the men love themselves. The problem is, they don't know what LOVE is. Rather, they seek to Control by any means possible.

{{{{{{{{{{Time0}}}}}}}}}}}}}}}

You know I love you, Sweety.

I felt "terrified" to see a response to this thread ... I thought I might have caused enough harm.

Thank you for understanding.