[sally0987]

I have been dating my boyfriend since the begining of June. At first everything was great and amazing...how things usally are during the first stages of a relationship.

Now things have sort of changed a bit dramatically. This past week I happened to be having a "bad" week along with pmsing. It happens to some of us. He took everything I said and did as me picking on him. Which in some part is true, and I did apologize.

BUT, I am slightly confused right now because most of our conversation the other night went with him saying I think we have potential but I want to take a break for 4 days. I really like you but I think you are bi-polar. All of this because of a few mood swings from a girl about to get her period.

So what is a girl to do? I feel as though I have been put in time out. I feel like he is treating me like a child and not wanting to deal with me because he can't handle me having my period which comes EVERY month.

I also just found out that he has been in therapy for the past three years and is on anti-depressants. None of this I can really go into detail why because he has never wanted to openly discuss with me.

Please help me! If anyone has advice feel free to let me know! Thanks so much!

[PasDeDeux]

Personally, I would tell him OK but you want to date others and both date others still seeing one another. I find a 4 day break odd. I wish you luck.

[almostangela]

Dating since June and already this stuff is happening. Throw him back, this fish isn't big enough yet. Go get yourself a great fish.

[wi_fighter]

The first thing that popped in to my head is, if he doesn't want to deal with monthly mood swings, start dating guys.

If you want to stay together, this is going to take some open communication on both of your parts. Unfortunately, from what you've said, he doesn't seem too willing to do that. If he could at least tell you *why* he wants a 4-day break and you find it's something acceptable, then maybe it could work. I think it's really unfair of him to "diagnose" you bipolar because you're PMSing though. Cripes! I can go from hating my pimply, salt-craving bloatedness in the morning to being able to at least deal with it by the afternoon. Does that make be bipolar too?

[pammie]

Sally, Unless he is a psychiatrist, he has no business dx you with bipolar. We all go thru periods of irritability--men and woman--no reason to put you on hold for 4 days. Why 4 days, by the way?
He is trying to control you--if you don't treat me exaclty like I want you to--I will not see you for 4 days. He obviously has his own issues. Consider this recent event as a giant red flag. Good Luck.

[desirae]

It's hard for a man to understand those monthly disruptions. I think I would try to explain to him that you are sorry, that you feel guilty, and that in the future you will try to work on your hormones a bit. If he wants a break, let him have a break, but try to talk him into a shorter break, like a day or at the most two. Because I'm sure even you need a break at times, don't we all!!

He may be a little fragile to whatever it was he just experienced with you, just try to explain to him that you understand his frustrations and that you will work harder to be more hormonally stable next month....lol, I think we all need to try harder at that sometimes.

[wi_fighter]

Des, why should we have to feel sorry and guilty for something we can't control? Hormones are hormones, it's not like we can change how they work through mind control.

Sally, my ex-father-in-law got in the habit of marrying younger women and then dumping them as soon as they hit menopause, picking up an even younger woman. Guess he finally got too old to snag non-menopausal women or couldn't afford any more divorce settlements, or both.

Sounds like this guy could have similar issues. Since you only have a few months invested in him, maybe it wouldn't be a bad idea to find a guy who's a little more mature and understanding of how women's bodies work.

[almostangela]

A man doesn't need to understand what a woman is going though. My god, if he can't handle a few days of you being fussy, how the hell can he handle the big stuff?

[wi_fighter]

OK, forget needing to be understanding, but he could at least be mature about it.