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  #1  
Old Jul 13, 2013, 03:56 PM
Anonymous32433
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Why is it that when I want to be around friends, I never get a chance to be. Only when I'm in school do I hang out with them. Other times they don't even want to be with me. I guess they're nto really friends. Why is being friends so hard sometimes? why can't I have more friends? why am i not making longstanding ones? I hate to tell myself constantly that I am soooo lonely.

How come friendships don't come as easy as they should? It's not fair that others have so many but not me. I don't know if whether or not I am being led to be friends with someone or not, but there's one who told me that she doesn't even have 10 friends herself and I was like,"You don't?" In fact, she thinks that more friends mean more problems. I don't see it that way because if you have more friends, you can always rely on someone but how do you know that they are the right ones? Why do I always choose the friends that others have? Am I really jealous or do I feel left out?

Right now I feel like I'm not meant to have friends.
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  #2  
Old Jul 13, 2013, 06:09 PM
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Jannaku Jannaku is offline
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I'm sorry to hear that you are feeling lonely and friendless. It isn't easy to make good friends at all, especially at your age when girls are so wrapped up in themselves that they really don't care about anyone else except themselves. I can assure you that one good genuine friend is worth far more than 10 or 20 so called friends. It's nice to have a large social circle of friends but I tend to put these in a different category of friendship altogether. Don't expect them to call you, think about you or care about you. Concentrate on the quality of a friendship rather than the quantity and don't feel jealous or left out. Making a good friend(s) is hard. Try looking outside your immediate circle and consider possibly joining a group e.g. sports, church, voluntary, whatever tickles your fancy as this will introduce you to more people and perhaps the friends that you are looking for. All the best x
  #3  
Old Jul 13, 2013, 06:42 PM
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winter4me winter4me is offline
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to have friends, you need to be able to be a friend.
  #4  
Old Jul 13, 2013, 08:04 PM
Anonymous32433
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Quote:
Originally Posted by winter4me View Post
to have friends, you need to be able to be a friend.
I have been a friend. Why can't it be that when I meet someone, they just feel like oh you're fun to be around or stuff like that? For others, I see smiles, laughter, joy...everything positive imaginable.

After they've talked to me more than once, they just brush me aside and turn to others. Seriously, am I not meant to have friends? You don't know how many drops of tears I've shed worrying about the future without friends, without connections, without people liking me or marrying me..I couldn't even get the girls in elementary to like me. they all turned me away. There was absolutely no reciprocation. We just remained acquaintances.
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  #5  
Old Jul 15, 2013, 03:56 PM
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winter4me winter4me is offline
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I wonder, because, reviewing your posts...I'm not seeing you responding to others no matter how much support they express for you. How do you demonstrate your feelings of friendship for another person? Also, just thinking, being a friend and keeping friends is not "easy" though it may look that way from the outside, I am a bit of a loner myself, social but just a few close friends; and friendship, like any relationship requires work. You have to think about the other person, express yourself in behavior and words, think about how things you do or say will affect a friend etc...................
  #6  
Old Jul 15, 2013, 04:21 PM
manwithnofriends manwithnofriends is offline
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Friendship is IMPOSSIBLE for me
  #7  
Old Jul 15, 2013, 04:27 PM
Anonymous32433
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Quote:
Originally Posted by winter4me View Post
I wonder, because, reviewing your posts...I'm not seeing you responding to others no matter how much support they express for you. How do you demonstrate your feelings of friendship for another person? Also, just thinking, being a friend and keeping friends is not "easy" though it may look that way from the outside, I am a bit of a loner myself, social but just a few close friends; and friendship, like any relationship requires work. You have to think about the other person, express yourself in behavior and words, think about how things you do or say will affect a friend etc...................
I have responded to people's posts with positivity. You just haven't seen it.
  #8  
Old Jul 15, 2013, 04:35 PM
Anonymous32433
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Originally Posted by winter4me View Post
I wonder, because, reviewing your posts...I'm not seeing you responding to others no matter how much support they express for you. How do you demonstrate your feelings of friendship for another person? Also, just thinking, being a friend and keeping friends is not "easy" though it may look that way from the outside, I am a bit of a loner myself, social but just a few close friends; and friendship, like any relationship requires work. You have to think about the other person, express yourself in behavior and words, think about how things you do or say will affect a friend etc...................
I also give thanks and hugs to people's posts.
  #9  
Old Jul 16, 2013, 12:37 PM
Anonymous41644
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Making friends is something that I struggle with too. I used to think that having more friends was better. But now I finally realized that I rather have small group of close friends instead.

You're not alone
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  #10  
Old Jul 16, 2013, 08:14 PM
Anonymous32433
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Originally Posted by bohemiangirl85 View Post
Making friends is something that I struggle with too. I used to think that having more friends was better. But now I finally realized that I rather have small group of close friends instead.

You're not alone
One of my friends told me that the more friends you have, the more trouble there is. I was like, I doubt it.
  #11  
Old Jul 17, 2013, 08:42 PM
htebsiL radnalaS's Avatar
htebsiL radnalaS htebsiL radnalaS is offline
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I have the same struggle... I think I want too much from friendships and struggle to accept what is...
  #12  
Old Jul 17, 2013, 11:58 PM
Anonymous32433
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Originally Posted by htebsiL radnalaS View Post
I have the same struggle... I think I want too much from friendships and struggle to accept what is...
what exactly do you mean?
  #13  
Old Jul 25, 2013, 06:40 PM
htebsiL radnalaS's Avatar
htebsiL radnalaS htebsiL radnalaS is offline
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Member Since: Jun 2013
Location: So. Cali
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Originally Posted by heyitsme7 View Post
what exactly do you mean?

I mean i make friends and when they let me down because everyone will at some point i end the friendship because i wont accept their limitations. I want them to be more than is reasonable like my last friend who i knew was super close to her family and eventually i got tired of it and stopped calling her. She reached out to me recently after a couple of years and so I'm going to try again this time accepting her limitations.
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"The question is not how to change
ugliness into beauty,
pain into pleasure,
or misery into happiness...

The question is how to change
the unconscious into conscious,
how to infuse awareness into ourselves and
embrace reality as it is..."
~ Paramahamsa Nithyananda (Swamiji)
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