H wants no computer for a month, he's crazy right.

I forgot too mention....I am bhappy to hear that you are coping.

yes I have, I have let him read in the forums and read my threads. I also suggested he sit beside of me one night and see just what happens in chat. Several people were very nice to him and told him hi and welcome. I told everyone he was setting with me and doing chat with me. One of the sites I use is for survivors of rape and was suggested to me by my T, so I would not think it would be an issue.

I can understand kinda how if he is home and I choose the computer over him it would hurt his feelings. I try very hard to stay off of it when he is home. but when he sin't even here, that is a little to much. I use the computer sometimes to wind down, to conncet, and to deal with the issues I have.

Mama,
Your husband is a control freak and will try to control everything in your life! You need to stand up for yourself and get away from his irrational behavior.

Your husband does sound so controlling Mama, I mean come on a month with no computer I would go insane, Sounds like he hates you having any contact or support with the outside world which is way too controlling, hugs to you

Agreed. I have some issues with how long he wants to computer off and not even when he is not here. That is to much control. So far I told him no, not doing it, and he called me a loser and that I was just giving up because I wouldn't even try. Name calling because you don't get your way is not the right way t handle things. But he didn't yell, or raise his voice. He didn't invade my space and I didn't cry. I felt intimidated but I didn't cower away.

So this is all a huge improvement. Hopefully that is all it took to make him drop the subject. He is at least dropping it for now. Lets hope it stays that way.

As I know a bit of your issues before this, I would say that knowing what i do about your H, he is doing this purely out of need to control and dominate you. I'm sorry but I've always seen him this way and this makes it clear. There is much compromise that can be done here and he needs to be willing to make that compromise. He is not the God of the house, the King or ruler but the husband! a month is ridiculous. He acts as though computers are for your entertainment and only for that purpose.

Here is my take on this. He is a controlling person and one thing a controlling and dare I say, abusive person does is isolate the victim(s) from the world. He is threatened by your talking ot other people because he knows you might talk about your issues and this triggers his paranoia and also from his conviction inside that he knows how he treats you is not right.

I mean here's reasonable responses: Why do you want the computer off? Is it because it keeps your wife from giving you attention? Then turn off the computer when you're home. That's reasonable. Is it because your family is too tied into the electronic media? Then turn off the computers, tv and kindles for a couple days a week to have family time. There is no reasonable justification for an entire month of no tv unless it's for the reasons I've posted above or he has a need to "punish" you for some reason, which could quite possibly be it too.

Good luck, I really think that he's hopeless as long as you've talked about this and he keeps returning to this crap. You know what I think >.>

S4

S4, you are s right. I don't post much anymore because I kinda feel like if you aren't going t do anything to change the situation you loose the right to complain. That is kinda where I am stuck at.

I agree we should or could turn off electronic devices a few days a week or a whole week with proper time given t let folks know how to get in touch with me. Music lessons, basket ball, home school, and church they all send updates via e-mail. To just say no , n more computer for a month would be like saying "Ok I won't go to the mail box for a month." Thats just stupid. It has not come up again. I hope it doesn't, but I am afraid it will.

I just don't know what to do. of I do knw what to do, I just don;t know what keeps me from doing it.

S4 You are a good friend and I appreciate your input. Thanks so much.

Please don't stop posting. When you are ready and able to change you will do so and not a moment before. Accept that. It helps my outlook.

I hope you feel supported here at PC. I enjoy your posts.

Thank you Yoda. I get annoyed at myself sometimes.

I would rather give up breathing then the Internet. I can live with out telephone, TV, people, radio, newspapers, but the Internet? Touch my pc and you will die

There's the logical answer, to the irrational request.

Indie, I so agree. I can do with out a lot of things, but my computer is not one of them. It goes hand in hand with my sanity. If I lose one I lose both.

Healing, yeah, I have the answer. HAHAHAHAHA. I don't think H would agree that is the correct answer. I may have to use that in T. I will have to write that on my hand so when I am in T and can't remember crap it will be right there written on my hand.

I think it's wonderful that you are so open. Seems many people keep secrets from each other with internet and cellphones, and I don't understand why they stupidly do that. My husband and I are open about what we do, and often show each other, or ask curiously and are informed or shown without suspicion or resentment. The closeness and trust are great. You did the right thing that few people have the sense to do, it seems. Keep posting. You will make it through all this. I can feel your strength and passion, not just the pain and vulnerability you express.

Hermit, thank you for the encouragement.