New here and in a very hot mess

Hi fellow mates,

I'm a 22 year old work as a stewardess. Have a big heart, very honest, kind, everything you will want I am that...lol ok now it sounds like a dating profile but noooooo...I'm so heart broken.
I am good looking, worked as a model for some time, a certified fitness trainer...I'm ambitious too..or was at least.
See...I don't date much..my love life is non existent. I feel very invisible. Like I don't exist. Men don't see me as a gf material.
And ofcourse I am not going to be interested in just anyone, but not to that extreme, I hate to be single and have nothing's exciting to happen.
Yesterday someone broke my heart really bad. He is a colleague...and it was my first date with someone at work...cos I always keep it strictly professional...but I had some kind of attraction with this guy. We met spontaneously...and had a great evening...we had strong sexual feelings but he didn't want to do it on the first date which I agreed...but got a bit frustrated..like I felt he wasn't really that into me..cos when it was time for me to go home..I felt coldness...he didn't even open the door for me (ok cos he opened the car door as good gesture when we met earlier...now it was like saying **** off') he wanted kids I don't..but doesn't mean ****. He said next day we are too different and that he just wants kids and a quiet life. You can't talk bat if you want kids on the first date?!
Guys, I just got rejected by this idiot...I feel really bad... Cos I initiated it so I feel stupid. It was a mutual attraction, he said but he has to end it.
Ok...not that I'm really into him...we just met! but I feel something's wrong with me ..why can't some guy try to make me happy ?
Feel so alone, rejected, humiliated, stupid, sad, ......feel like I will never find someone who will love me genuinely, and not change his mind cos of some stupid silly things. I don't trust humans after this experience. Feel like its a cold and harsh world.
And I got rejected earlier this month as well..this time from my ex.

I have a dream to be a single mother...adopting 2 kids, and living alone..happy.
Men don't need me, I don't need them...

Someone like me..it's shocking because I have all the good qualities that every girl and guy desires..
The reality is I have a sad frustrating lonely life.

Exs are exs for a reason...

Its better that you only wasted one night on this guy. You shouldn't feel rejected! It seems like marriage is a priority in his life and its not in yours! He probably had a list of undesirable traits that you weren't exposed to, too.

Guys might be intimidated because they think you are out of their league. Its a possibility if you really attractive.

seems to me, and not to sound harsh, just observing, that you just expected too much too fast. Don't feel rejected. the silver lining here is that he was smart enough to say early on that this won't work. Thing is it wouldn't have anyway with such differing expectations and he did you a favor. He doesn't sound like an idiot at all. He's choosing not to lead you on into a relationship with most likely no future because frankly, kids, whether you want them or not, is a big deal either way.

Don't chalk this up as "yet another guy that doesn't find you as gf material" but that you met someone found out that your values differ too much and it didn't work out.

Thanks for your replies.

I'm so over it now. I was crying the whole night yesterday. Now...it's a new day, new challenges ..
It was just an explosion of emotions yesterday. No body likes to be rejected. Ever.
Exes but he is an on and off we are only fwb.
I don't care about it much. Only thing I can say is, love is not for me.
Or anything close.
I didn't expect anything from him...but I don't like to feel the door shut in my face.
I just need some hugs some chocolate lol..but I feel good today.

Lol I guess that's all the replies I get? I wanted a different point of view..understand why this is happening to me?

Because of the fwb status, you could be sending off, an 'emotionally unavailable vibe' to others?

I think I'm quitting this site no one seems to understand me. I'm in acute depression...

hi! you're a stewardess and a fitness instructor? if that's the case, you're talking to people almost all the time! keep going, you may find someone you do click with (and it doesn't have to be a man)

I'm not sure what kind of reply you are looking for so forgive me if I say the wrong thing. You are a very desireable, attractive and successful person based on your description of yourself. Yet, you judge yourself as inferior based on one man't reaction. Who says his opinion is worth anything? Who says you would not have rejected him if you got together another time? You have a lot to offer anyone who values your accomplishments. Don't let this bozo define you. He is nothing.

I certainly, didn't mean to offend you. I am not judging your fwb status. I was just trying to take life perspective, and use it to try to help.

I know, a lot about unavailable vibes, that people give off.

I am sorry, this one guy brought you to be this upset about yourself and your life.

Dating, isn't easy, no matter if you are attractive or not.

The kids topic is an important core value, and the way I see it, since it did come up on the first date, and he did find out that your views don't match his, it's better off that he ended it after the first date. Yes, there are guys out there (like myself) who will not pursue or continue with someone if they do not want to have children and a family in the future. It's a core value, I believe.

I love my girlfriend very much, we've known each other for almost two years, and she has flip flopped on wanting to have kids in the future. Mind you, she already has one, and she's always maintained that she wanted more kids in the future, until recently. I told her that if she does decide on not wanting any more kids, that we would end it. It's just a core value.

It's not about being attractive...ever...I didn't mean to put out here that I'm so good looking so why can't I find a boyfriend...I'm so much deeper, intuitive and intellectual than that.
I don't even like good looking men..who spends most of the time looking in the mirror or at the gym building big guns aka mr testosterone
What I was trying to out across...is I'm highly sexual, and sexy..so it's so hard for me. Cos I would definitely get that easily but being 100% resistant to all these other sex hungry cattle calls who looking for a one night.
I'm looking for something else. Somebody else lol...who ever that is.

Children are somehow important to me as well..but I have a different idea about it?
Like I don't want to populate the world..I want to adopt them. I have no problems in getting pregnant. But I just want to really do something better. I don't follow the traditional routine. Ever since I was 16 I had this idea. True there will be problems with adopted children, but isn't that so with any child? And who says you won't have an emotional connection to them just like to your own kid.
Not another Jolie, I wanted this before she did want it. I have big plans for them.
I want to find someone who likes this idea...and supports me in all ways.

Btw people, this emotional thread that I started ranting about this guy and this situation...I'm so over it. I don't even think about it. I was so hurt, but I have healed well by now.
I'm now looking ahead. But threading so carefully, no more hurt.

Thank you for all your posts!
Summary of what all you said : we are so different, different values, beliefs, morals etc..
But someone is out there for each one us. Patience is virtue.
Lol...but as if I'm gonna be soooooooo patient and waiting. It's not gonna happen..grrr

I had to cut off, an emotional affair, that I was having, post-divorce, towards the end of last year/early this year. Weren't quite the fwb status, as he lives, long distance from me, but everything else, one would want out of a relationship, he was it. Discussed, taking things to the next level, no way, was he going to entertain a more than that status with me, because of the distance(never mind, he met someone local, about the same time, as that discussion...)
Anyways, I don't really have a different value system. I get the need to have someone, who is a bedmate, as well as having that emotional connection. I had to take a good hard look, at why, I wasn't getting the dates and offers. My personal, conclusion, I was giving off that unavailable vibe. Hence, my bring up, the unavailable vibe about the fwb that you have. I wasn't emotionally freed up, to meet someone who would cherish me, beyond skin deep.

just food for thought.

Hey healing,
Yeah this fwb thing is not as uncommon as we think...giving us this stupid dilemma of 'are we not worth it yet?'
I'm hearing a lot of stories about this and it's sad. There's so many pretty fish in the sea and only these ugly 'fisherman' found it...funny way to put it but you know what I mean.
I feel like I'm hiding under a rock.
Sometimes this makes me a feminist and wishfully want to be a lesbian....but I like being straight..it's just that I don't like men..
Anyway whatever destiny is in for us mortals.