It is possible to get over someone ?

Hi,

Around 8 months ago, I looked at internet for help, and basically posted my problem online at few forums.

forums.psychcentral.com/new-member-introductions/271269-how-get-over-someone.html

Most people told me that I was being hard of myself, and two months was not enough time to get over someone. That I had to give it time and eventually I will move on. I accepted it at that moment and stopped looking for help further.

Now update from 10 months after my breakup. I have lost my job, Lost my health, I am broke, I am super depressed, can't sleep and have been doing some drugs for a while. But my problem still remains the same. I cannot seem to get over love.

I have thought over it again and again. I am still in love with her, and I have realized that I cannot live without her. The only reason, I haven't killed myself because she had taken promise from me that I won't.

I have come to a point that all my friends have given up on me. I used to make fun of people who say that they got hurt because of love, now Karma is making fun of me, and I deserve it. Its most probably my fault. I feel tired, so very tired. I am hopeless and just want this pain to be over.

The funny thing is, I do not know even know why I posting it. I guess, to middle finger the person who said 'it gets better'.

Anyway, In one of my drunk actions, I revisited this bookmarked post of mine, decided to say hey ... Don't be a sucker, Never fall in love

Cheers

Just know you're not alone. I'm also experiencing the same thing. I was scared of all of my friends getting tired of me, I used to talk alot about my ex with a few close friends, and one of them ended up betraying me. I felt alone, and yes, I've felt like, I'll never ever fall for anyone ever again. If i knew it would hurt this much. I have also been suffering for a year, and it's worse because I had to keep seeing my ex everyday at school, reminding me of the past over and over again, and suffocating me by talking to me about becoming friends after finding someone else because we're "supposed to move on and forget about the past". I swore to never trust anyone, I wanted to be alone.

So yeah, i understand how you feel. Maybe it won't ever get better. There will always be scars. Of course there will, she was such an important person in your life. It deeply hurts, and it perhaps always will. You probably will always have feelings for her, and that's okay. It's perfectly valid, even. I know how it feels.

We just gotta live with it, and concentrate on our own lives. No matter how much you loved that person, if you are not together anymore, there is no reason to not love yourself. Perhaps you've neglected yourself while in the relationship, now's the time to pick yourself up. How can you get better if you keep thinking about her? Make the effort to live again, yourself, without her. If you're able to do that, then surely it will get better. And of course, it will take time. You love her, yeah, we get it. But you can't throw your life away moping because of that love. Love isn't pain; pain is pain. Get rid of the pain, and start loving yourself. It's okay to love yourself. it's not wrong to compartmentalize your life and move on. All in good time, I'm sure a girl will be lucky enough to find you. But you gotta move forward first.

I'm still hurting too. Very, very much. But I'm going to be stronger from this pain, because it has taught me to be a better person. And I'll never stop looking for love, as a friend advised me, because it was something worth experiencing, and worth taking a chance.

love makes you vulnerable and it hurts when you loose it. If you really loved someone it takes very long time to get over it,somewhere deep inside you will have the pocket of love remaining for the rest of your life.It hurts daily,maybe for years.But you can not seclude yourself from life,live in a bubble of your pain/sorrow.You might fall in love again,very likely ,but only if you give yourself a chance to see the reality,to accept others feelings,not to shut down and drain your life.Nothing will make you forget the pain better then real life (drugs are cover up,that make you more depressed later),and again you will not forget her,but the pain will ease up if you open yourself to life again,with time.while it may take years for pain and hurtful memory to subside,it does not mean it should take years for you to go back to LIFE
good luck

To answer your question, yes, it is "possible to get over someone." That's not to say that you won't always feel a bit sad/hurt. I suggest you talk to a counselor about your situation, since your feelings have been damaging your life so much.

I know it sounds callous to say "there are other fish in the sea," but there is some truth to that. I know because I have had strong attachments to other people since then and even realized that that relationship had its drawbacks.

I suspect the other person has gotten on with life. Moving on can take some time, but it can be done. Okay?

I am in ur shoes too, I miss him everyday. we only been apart for 3 mos,
its even harder when ur sure u had found the one. gl. i feel ur pain.

Yeah - It took me more than 10 years to accept that husband and I would never get back together. I've never remarried and never will. Every time I've had a male friend, they've screwed it up by wanting more than friendship and I've ended the relationship. There's been too much trauma and hurt in my life, and losing someone I love is something I would not survive again.

I'm going through a hard break up. It's been 4 months now and it didn't get any better, I also understand it when you say that pain is so big that you are willing to do anything for it to go away. Once I started thinking about hurting myself I went out from apartment where I live and walked to a psychotherapist who works near me and got appointment for myself, for tomorrow actually. . I think you should try and do the same. Try to separate yourself from this situation. You gonna live and you want to be happy, don't you? Maybe more and more and more time - will help. I really do feel your pain.

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You can get over this....!!!! You must find the strength inside of you to push and push. It hurts to think of life without that person.... Your stomach in knots, its hard to eat, sleepless nights, and the most awful feeling of gut wrenching loneliness. I once lost the one I thought was to be my wife. She was everything I knew. When she ended it, I was lost, confused, hurt, and turned all that anger and hurt towards myself, also indulging in drugs and alcohol. You have to see that life is beautiful, and remember the days before she walked into your world. Unfortunately, she has made up her mind. All you can do is move on with your life, even if things could end up working out for you both and you do get back together. it will not be anytime soon. You need to get your life on track even if its taking it day by day, minute by minute.... try to get out for some fun for atleast an hour each day... even if your thinking about her just for that hour dont talk about her...!!! slowly build back your self reliance. I was in your boat friend and everyone gets through their problems their own way and at their own speed.... but it does get better... i thought id never love again, but with some time and positive attitude and keeping my mind busy, i moved on and found a wonderful woman that i am so in love with and our relationship is so great, i feel like an idiot waisting so much time pining over the ex....!!! YOU WILL OVERCOME THIS BUDDY, YOU GOTTA BE STRONG AND FORCE YOURSELF TO STEP OUT OF THAT BUBBLE FOR A LITTLE WHILE EACH DAY..... God bless you man I hope you see the beauty in living your life.... because being happy will make you feel 20x better than any drug!!! good luck bro, find your path!!!

You don't ever "get over" someone. You just learn to live with the pain of the loss... and it takes a long, long time to even do that. 40 years ago I lost the woman that I loved and married. The pain is still there. It will always be there. It lessens over time, but it never goes away. You just learn to move on with your life while you mourn. I have never stopped mourning. Even though I thought my life was over when I lost my wife, much to my surprise, I found out that it wasn't. I started a new life with another wonderful woman and have been very, very happy with her. But, there will always be a special place in my heart for my first wife.

I KNOW you can get through this. And I KNOW that it's one of the most painful things you will ever endure. One day at a time. Sometimes one minute at a time. The agony you feel every morning when you first wake up will lessen over time... and your life WILL go on. And you WILL learn to be happy again... even if it doesn't feel like that's possible right now.

My heart goes out to you. I'm so sorry for your pain.

Dan

You can get over a broken heart,coz that person would be laughing behind your back. People are like this these days, fear not. Build your life back up, screw those who hurt you. You can be a better man.

Happy for those who moved on.

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Don't you want to try again? Maybe you should have faith in people.

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That's the type of thinking we all should have!) Screw those bastards!!

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