[pixie19]

i cant stand to be away from him and when i am i get anxious until im wit him again is this unhealthy???

[Wants2Fly]

Hi Pixie -- In my humble opinion, yes. New love is exciting and engrossing, so I can understand why you would feel that way. I think most young people -- and even a lot of old fools who should know better -- go through this. Do you have any healthy interests, such as exercising, walking, or playing a sport with gal pals, that will help burn off some of your energy and create endorphins, a "feel-good" chemical?

[OliviaC]

<font color="#880000"> Hi Pixie,

I don't think it is too unusual to feel the way you do especially if you are suffer from anxiety and depression. I have been married for 20 years and most of the time I am fine when my husband is at work or on a business trip, but with increased depression/anxiety, I do feel that I am much calmer when he is with me. (((((((((((Pixie)))))))))

Olivia </font>

[Rhapsody]

IMO - I feel that what you are going thru is normal and that it will lessens its hold on you once you find an outlet to help with some of your anxiety....... what do you like to do? - along or with a friend.

I was once as you are now and in time I learned that I did not need my b/f (now husband) around as much as my inner wounds were trying to make me feel that I did.... I like being with him now and yet I like my private time away from his as well - it is good for both of us to have other outlets than each other.

.... btw - I look forward to his Saturday Paintball Matches now - it give me about 6 hours of me/relax time and then we are back together to enjoy our love with each other, which by the way is made better when we are absent from each other presence from time to time.

LoVe................................... is GOOD!

LoVe,
Rhapsody -

[nicole84]

I feel the same way... also since i've become more depressed lately (i was fairly well when i met him.. well recovering) i've been constantly worried that he's going to leave me, that i cant do anything right... i'm so stressed about it its making me worse... he says everything is fine with us but i'm still unsure argghh

[Perna]

I think when we feel like something doesn't feel right that that's a good thing and usually correct for us, even if the situation isn't exactly as we see it.

I love being with my husband and though I'm okay on my own during the day, I really don't like not being with him at night.

Depending on how you would like things to be for yourself, you may want to work on enjoying your own company and becoming more self-confident, etc. I don't think healthy/unhealthy is a very helpful dichotomy; you're unique and have your own needs and ideas of what you'd like and what makes you feel good. That you're less anxious when your boyfriend is around is great except your boyfriend can't always be around :-) Were I you, I'd explore that a bit.

I'm looking, for myself, at things I need to work on in case my husband dies before I do, the things that make me anxious about being older and "alone" and seeing if I can't become more confident in myself and create a bit better support network, etc.

[SeptemberMorn]

Pixie, I think it depends on how long you've been with him, are you still "falling in love" but mostly, does this feeling interfere with your normal day to day life. Do you sit and pine over him or is it an "I can't wait to be with him!" kinda thing?

Do you have to ask him his opinion every time you need to make a decision or can you go ahead and make a decision for yourself?

There's an awful lot to consider!

[pixie19]

</font><blockquote><div id="quote"><font class="small">Quote:</font>
SeptemberMorn said:
Pixie, I think it depends on how long you've been with him, are you still "falling in love" but mostly, does this feeling interfere with your normal day to day life. Do you sit and pine over him or is it an "I can't wait to be with him!" kinda thing?

Do you have to ask him his opinion every time you need to make a decision or can you go ahead and make a decision for yourself?

There's an awful lot to consider!

</div></font></blockquote><font class="post">

i do find it hard to make decisions and this often makes him angry because i usually say oh jus choose for me or never mind forget about it.
and we've been together for 3 years in april
i think i sit and pine for him because as soon as he leavees i text him to tell him to come back which leaves him frustrated as well

[tiodlliwi]

It does sound like you are too attached. I can get to that point too. You know what I have realized? If I give my husband space, time with friends when desired, time alone when needed, etc., first of all, he chooses to be around me more and, second, our time together is more fun and meaningful and we have more to talk about. I think that, to most people, when someone is naggy, whiny, and overly dependent (friends or otherwise), it is a major turn-off (I'm not saying you are being those things, but I sure can be when I'm feeling insecure!)

I've recently gotten back my old security and independence (slow but sure) and I have noticed a total difference in my relationship and how I'm treated by my husband- he is much more loving and affectionate and enjoys spending more time with me- not because he feels like he HAS to be or that I will fall apart if he's not around.

Good luck!

[SeptemberMorn]

I used to do that to Jerry, too, but that was before cell phones. Sometime during the time he woke up and when he was walking out the door, I would say "Don't gooo... stay here with me." It drove him NUTZ!! I'll jokingly say it now and I still don't get a smile even though he knows I don't mean it anymore.

My DIL used to do even worse! She'd go to work with him and sit outside in the car and wait. It drove my son NUTZ, too. She would text him when she knew he was coming over and once he said, "She's such a nag!"

I would say men don't like that... wouldn't you?