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Member Since May 2012
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#1
So there is a girl I have had my eye on in college for two years now. Just out of pure lack of circumstance and opportunity, I never met her. Just never had the chance. We didn't have mutual friends, rarely crossed paths, and the one class we did have together was a giant 200 student class. She would always sit with her friends, so I never got the chance to sit next to her. But all that time I wanted so badly to meet her. She is beautiful and seemed really nice, and like she would have a great personality and sense of humor. So I spent the past two years of college very upset and frustrated, and even depressed, that I never met her. I felt like someone who might have been very special to me, was just slipping away.
Now that I graduated from college, I am wondering if I should message her on facebook. Whether or not anything will come out of it, I don't know, but these bottled up feelings are just really getting me down. I just want to let them out, and tell her that I always wanted to say hi to her. I found her on Facebook, but am very unsure if I should message her. Since we have never met, I just fear she could think I'm weird or creepy. I know for certain she has noticed me though. Should I poke her first maybe? Or just go for the message? I was thinking something like "Hey, I think you were in my health class? Anyway, always wanted to say hi but never got the chance." Is this too creepy? Should I just forget about it? |
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Member
Member Since Jun 2014
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#2
Do it. Only one way to find out if she cares or not.
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IchbinkeinTeufel, rolan86
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#3
Not creepy at all. Poking would be annoying and a touch creepy cause if she HAS noticed you from the past, she won't get why you just don't say hi. So, just say what you said, that you remember her from a previous class, always wanted to say hi, and never got the opportunity.
Then see where it goes. Good luck! __________________ Sometimes the opening of wings is more frightening than the challenge against gravity. Both make you free..............the secret is perception. |
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IchbinkeinTeufel, rolan86
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#4
I'm going out on a limb here but i think that's what Facebook is all about?
as waiting4 said, i wouldn't poke. i always associated poking with a deep friendship that may lead to some sexual tendencies. who knows, maybe I'm totally off base. if you guys went to the same college then I'm sure she would notice this if you sent her a friend request and it wouldn't be a total creep scenario. but you did say she has noticed you so she would likely accept the request without hesitation or doing in investigating. shoot her a friend request and wait a few days after she accepts it to see if she initiates contact, if not, then I would send her a friendly message. I think it would be flattering for a female to know that you always wanted to say 'hello' to her but were never put in a good scenario where this was possible, and you were to nervous to talk with her while she was with her friends. but you definitely need to talk to her. because if you don't.. you'll regret it for a long time to come. good luck my friend! |
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IchbinkeinTeufel, rolan86, waiting4
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#5
hmmm well I guess you have all convinced me that it would not be weird! I guess I'll just go ahead and do it then. I am excited to see how she responds, but still nervous of course. I will let everyone here know how it goes. Thanks for convincing me!
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IchbinkeinTeufel
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#6
i definitely want to know how this turns out. cheers!
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#7
Me too!! Good luck!!
__________________ Sometimes the opening of wings is more frightening than the challenge against gravity. Both make you free..............the secret is perception. |
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#8
One thing I am still uncertain on! Should I mention how I found them or know their name? I feel she might be weirded out by the fact that I found her online, or knew her name without ever talking to her. Truth is, I just stumbled upon her page by accident and was then like oh man! That's her! Should I tell her this? What if she asks me how I found her? I just feel weird about that part.
Last edited by rolan86; Jun 07, 2014 at 02:15 PM.. |
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IchbinkeinTeufel
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#9
I think its weird but that's only because i'm weird and I don't trust people that make contact with me first. I have these type of conversations with my daughter all the time and I believe you should make contact with a statement because she won't know what to do with a poke.
I think telling her you always wanted to say hi would be ok and it seems reasonable that she would show up on 'people you may know' because yall did go to the same college. I don't think it's weird that you would know her name. __________________ I pray that I am wrong, while fighting to prove I'm right. Me~ Myself~ and I . |
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IchbinkeinTeufel, rolan86
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#10
Quote:
if you always tell the truth you can never go wrong... if you fake and lie about something you'll always wonder in the back of your mind how it would have turned out had you told the truth. whereas if you tell truth you won't have that lingering thought of "what if i had told the truth." i suppose in this situation it wouldn't be that deep as i described above however the truth you just posted in my quote isn't even that bad.. i'd go with the truth! again, maybe any ladies reading this can correct me if i'm wrong but i think it would be flattering for a lady to know there was always a guy that wanted to meet her but for whatever reason wasn't able to make it happen.. until now. besides, the worst thing she can do is block you. which at this point wouldn't affect you much cause you don't know her in the first place. on the other side of the spectrum, you can be meeting your future wife. good luck! |
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IchbinkeinTeufel, rolan86
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#11
I say just add her. If a girl isn't flattered that a guy would message her out of truly being interested in dating her (ie not just sex), then she's too stuck up, and I'd move on. So just message her and be honest. (I stress the "be honest" part!)
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rolan86
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#12
Thanks for all the support everyone! It all means so much to me, and actually is getting me to actually go through with this. I was really considering backing out, but now I feel confident with this thanks to everyone here! Well... here I go... very nervous...
anddddd.... sent. My heart just sank..... |
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IchbinkeinTeufel, waiting4
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IchbinkeinTeufel
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#13
don't give her so much power. at this point, it's just a friendly 'hello.' what could go wrong in that?
answer: nothing you're over thinking it. |
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IchbinkeinTeufel, rolan86
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#14
whoflungpoo is right....don't over think it. That said, I'm so proud of you for taking the first step. I know it's scary....but it's just a friendly hello, like flung said..... So smile!!! You're awesome!!!
__________________ Sometimes the opening of wings is more frightening than the challenge against gravity. Both make you free..............the secret is perception. |
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rolan86
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Member Since May 2012
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#15
ahh! She replied with a sweet message saying she saw me and asked me how I am. She also sent me a friend request!! Oh man... I have been wanting to talk to this girl for the past 2 years and it feels almost unreal that now I am finally in contact with her... I always said if I had the opportunity I would ask her out with no hesitation. I am really feeling positive now about a potential relationship with this girl. I have all desire to pursue this further. I am so happy right now!
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waiting4
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IchbinkeinTeufel
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#16
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waiting4
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#17
Not sure what this means. Can you elaborate on what you mean about giving too much power? I dunno but it comes off as standoffish for a new budding, possible relationship. You don't want to be expecting the worst, but just relax and let things happen. Once you're on the defensive with those kinds of thoughts you're going to be on the wrong footing in my opinion. I agree with just a friendly hello is a good thing but just by saying that YOU are over thinking it too.
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waiting4
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#18
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(big big hugs!) __________________ Sometimes the opening of wings is more frightening than the challenge against gravity. Both make you free..............the secret is perception. |
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Member
Member Since Jun 2014
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#19
Quote:
it means that rolan is giving this chick a lot of power over his feelings. rolan doesn't even know this chick, yet, and the thought of this chick is making rolan have all these strong feelings and if this chick does decline or doesn't reply then rolan is going to take it hard since he's got a lot of emotion tied up into this. hence, he's giving her too much power over his emotions/feelings. but i'm glad she replied, this is good news rolan. i'm also happy for you. but like s4ndm4n said, don't get gung ho and over do things cause you may ultimately push her away.. i've done this before and it sucks |
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#20
Read all these posts, and loving it. This is the sort of situation I'd be in. Well done, Rolan, I'm very much rooting for you! Best of luck, and keep us updated.
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