self talk

Hi. I'm fairly new to this site. I have PTSD, Bi-Polar, Fibromyalgia and some other stuff that doesn't effect my daily living. I've recently been thinking about relationships and I finally feel ready for one. Unfortunately, my self esteem doesn't seem up to the task. I'm very overweight and the Fibromyalgia makes it very difficult to be physically active. So, while I'm thinking about men, my head says, you're too fat, you can't do many things physically, and the kicker, you're defective because of all that's happened to you.
I used to be very well built and beautiful. I didn't have any trouble finding a man. Now that I'm heavy, it's a completely different story. It hurts to be treated so differently and it makes me angry. It also feeds on the self talk I have going on. Can anyone relate?

I can definitely relate. After my husband and I split up seven years ago, I purposely let myself go so that I wouldn't be attractive to anyone. I was making sure that I wouldn't hurt "in that way" again.

That self-talk is really a doozie! We make and break ourselves with it. I had a "friend" (turned out to be a wolf in sheep's clothing) that was a recoving addict. She'd get up every morning and as she got herself ready for work, she'd tell herself "I love my self... I love myself... I love myself... I love myself!" (UGH!) It worked for her! She also countered her self talk. "Oh, my butt is so big" with "My butt is getting prettier and prettier every day." She'd look at herself from one direction and then the other and totally admire herself! I think you've got the picture. Eventually, she did go on a diet and got really thin... almost pretty. One of her favorite sayings was "Fake it till you make it."

Work on that self talk, ok?



<font color=blue>"Our doubts are traitors and make us lose the good we oft might win by fearing to attempt" --Shakespeare</font color=blue>

Positive self talk is wonderful, once you actually know and believe what you are saying you can do anything.

I talk my way out of anxiety and panic attacks and I could NEVER do that, it actually took me 7 yrs, but I can control it know though postive self talk... it helps out really in any situation.

There's my 2 cents.

<font color=red>~Sundance~</font color=red>

<font color=blue>"Never react emotionally to criticism. Analyze yourself to determine whether it is justified. If it is, correct yourself. Otherwise, go on about your business."</font color=blue>

<font color=black>Norman Vincent Peale</font color=black>

This topic reminds me of an interview that **** Cavett had with Katherine Hepburn. He asked if it bothered her that she had no man in her life, and that she was alone much of the time. (This was after Spencer Tracy died).

Her response was: "Why of course not. I am by far the most fascinating person I know." Then she gave the audience a huge smile, and of course they went wild with laughter and cheering her on.


Choices, it's all about choices.

I can relate. I used to be slim, beautiful had no problems getting a date. When I became depressed I was put on Paxil and bang overnight (it seemed) I gained weight a lot of weight. I hated myself. I was in the hospital crying all the time. Finally, years later I said I'll never look how I did when I was in my early 20's. But I'm healthy. At this age that's all I want know. My family is wonderful. My husband is very supportive. I still dress nice. I'm fashionable and my hair is stylish. I dont care. Dont get me wrong I would love to lose the weight but I do the best with what I have.
Hold your head up high and be yourself. Your inner beauty will show. But being plus size is beautiful too. 12 year old daughter says "more woman to love" lol

"you only have one chance to make a first impression"