Getting over someone

i've met him 6 months before i got married, knew i loved him the moment i laid eyes on him. got married said our goodbyes, 4yrs down the line, we both married - i have kids and we still feel the same about each. the chemistry is there. the way feel about each other is still there. how do i get him out of my head and out of my heart?

Hi there, Froggie --

When I was a young woman, I worked for a much older woman. A coworker, who has remained a friend for 30-odd years, was at that time engaged -- but couldn't get the son of a Greek tycoon out of her heart. And of course, he would pop up and express renewed interest and get her stirred up again.

Mrs. S told a little story about "the one" she hadn't married and had never forgotten -- this is after her children are grown, her husband is dead, and grandchildren have arrived. Mrs. S said there is one in every woman's life.

Treasure the memory and move on.

easier said than done! but treasuring the memories is all i have. and this is definately a story i will be telling my grandkids....it really is difficult and heartsore - that 2 ppl love each other but live thousands of mile apart.

easier said than done! but treasuring the memories is all i have. and this is definately a story i will be telling my grandkids....it really is difficult and heartsore - that 2 ppl love each other but live thousands of mile apart.

I'm in love with someone and we can't be together because of complicated reasons...not because of we have families etc.

It's so painful...

I feel like...yes I'm going on because I have no choice, but I'm not going on with what is really "true".

But I've also come to realize that at this point it just isn't possible to sit and hope for miracles to happen.

I feel like everyone around me doesn't really "know" me because they don't know that the one person who I really love is nowhere near me and isn't in my life, but he's been the most important person and impacting person to me (other then my son) and there probably isn't an hour (if that) that goes by that I don't think of him. Sad .. huh.

I feel like I'm living a duel life, but I have no other choice...and I guess I've gotten really good at that.

you say this like you living my life - i love my family - i wouldnt give it up for anything. but the man i love is married, we both are!!! its been 4yrs since i last saw him, i can still smell him, feel him, hear his laugh, see his smile, see the twinkle in his eyes, feel the love when he held me close. maybe i am inlove with a fantasy of him being with him. maybe i want to be with him because i cant really be with him (does this make sense). so true when you say there isnt and hour/min that goes by that you dont think of that person. he is the biggest part of me. i love the person i am when i speak to him, i love that i can talk freely without being judged.

The strangest thing is - we are miles and miles apart - but the other always knows what the other is feeling!!! without any contact! Weird - but the truth.

But I live for my sons, i love my hubby. I have mastered the art of smiling when i am dying inside.

It is possible to love more than one person. You love the others for their differences. When the chemistry is there it is so hard to get over them. Always keep that person in your heart. The sadness of letting them go is heartbreaking. In the early 70's I loss a true love to suic*de .... we were so young and in love, but the pressures in life did her in. Today I miss her still and wish that we could sit and have a conversation for just one more time... No one knows what the future holds, you might go through life wondering where he is and what he is doing. .....

what would you do - if get the chance to see that person one last time - would u do it - would you meet up with that person

I don't understand why you didn't move heaven and earth and marry him since you weren't married when you met him. Love and interest can only be kept alive by constant thinking about that person, not "letting go" of the relationship (not the Love, never let go of the Love, just the relationship) and moving on. If you can't/don't want to be with him "enough" to do something about it, then not turning your mind to other thoughts until it gets tired of trying to think about him constantly is only hurting you. What you think about is your "choice" in the sense that you can change the "channel" and if you do that often enough, the distance between the need for a channel change will get greater and greater. It's your TV, it can only stay tuned to what you want to watch.

I was married unhappily for 20 years, had a daughter, and finally got the nerve to leave after she left for college. My husband wasn't bad to me; I just never loved him, and married him because he looked like my one true love. I have been in contact with and seen this love a couple of times over the past 5 years. The flame is still there, but he is married and will never leave his wife. We used to email each other daily, but recently it has stopped from his end. All my adult life, I've had dreams of him in which he always leaves, to another woman, or to become successful. Those dreams have conditioned me to accept this situation for what it is. I am not going to write to him expressing this. It is what it is, was what it was. I have always known nothing would come of it.
Patty

dude....... I have no idea what to tell you......... I am a hopeless romantic, who would tell you to follow yur heart. It isn't you, it's the universe trying to tell you that this is the right man........ but, the cynical side of me says avoid him at all costs, and eventually the feelings will die........ choose whichever side you prefer.

i suppose i know i my heart that nothing will ever come of it. i suppose we are just meant to be what we are - very very good friends - that have each other to turn to in times of despair (no physical contact has ever taken place). just to know he/i are there to listen to each other helps. and i know its best to avoid him at all costs. cos neither he nor i can guarantee nothing will happen should our paths ever cross again.

maybe in our next life, who knows....