[Yismymindblank12]

So if I like someone, I don't want to date them, but be friends. I don't want to date till I know them better, but if I ask them out and they just turn me down for superficial reasons. I will not talk to them ever again, I don't want to be your friend if I don't like your personality. It maybe best I didn't date you, I don't like using the word date or dating or gf. I don't become friends with someone after they turn me down unless they are someone I want to be friends with. Most of the time. I don't bother trying to be friend or I avoid them/ignore them. I don't care if they miss me around. Because mostly they treat like they don't. I'd be surprised if I have a gf again soon. I'd highly doubt it and id rather be that way. I'm too young to be serious and it will hurt dating when I'm older too by alot. I probably end up single for a very long time. I'm 2 years single going for 2 and a 1/2.

I'm very pessimistic with dating but optimistic when I meet a potentially nice person. I hate asking out girls. I'm not shy, I hate the ********. It's what I'm exposed to girls ik here are either knocked up married and knocked up or on kid two five six etc... Nothing wrong with girls having kids. It's the excuse of that. It's like if there is an excuse it is been used. I see past the ******** so I give them what they want and tell them to go away. I'm not hurt, if they have no business of than to waste my time then go somewhere else. I wont stand here listening to be your friend if I don't know you or had the intent to be your friend you can be my acquaintance but not friend. You have to earn it. Or gf especially.

[Yismymindblank12]

To clarify, the age group is early to mid twenties in northern KY Cincinnati. I can't believe how very very frequent this happens. Like I think over half of my female friends are married or pregnant. It's not a bad thing just so you think I'm perceiving this out of proportion too much. It's just awkward when the person you want to talk to acts like an *** for stupid reasons immediately or use being pregnant or married to act like an ***. Like i don't want to date now I don't know you I gave you my number, but you're acting like I'm supposed to hit on you to date you and **** you then have a baby then marry you in a week or a year or something. Its like everyone is like this here both guys and girls. Its a culture thing here I ****ing hate about this **** stain of the earth. Too many people don't give a **** and they want to self destruct and if you're not like them tough **** you're condemned and punished.

[JJBX]

That's crazy that so many women in their early/mid twenties already have a kid or more. I guess it's not that surprising because it's the south and that's pretty normal there. I think though tha your attitude toward romance is indicative of someone who feels bitter about being burned a few times before. I certainly wouldn't want to be romantically involved with someone who automatically thinks I'm a shrew just because I'm female just like you don't want people to automatically assume you're [insert bad thing here] because you're male.

People tend to make generalizations when they are exposed to a pattern, but I'm letting you know that your generalizations of women seem to be off by a lot. Maybe you're not looking for someone intelligent enough to have a relationship with. Maybe you're going for women of a certain personality type because you think that is supposed to be appealing (only to find later that you don't like that personality type). It's something to think about.

[Yismymindblank12]

Maybe it is way off. I don't know. Honestly I've been exposed to the sane thing so much I don't know what to do.

I like women I trust. I have female friends, I do trust and love them as friends for who they are. They've helped me cope with this and I thank them so much right now. I don't think this way towards every female. Just the few I get these negative generalized interactions with.

My number one thing I need is intimacy. I never had it much at all. I'm deprived from it for many years whether if its dating or not. Closeness isn't my thing because people aren't that close with me that's easy to deal with. Either my relationships are all superficial acquaintances or over a computer or technology.

[Yismymindblank12]

I'm not sure what it feels like to be loved or have someone treat me like I'm a person. So I don't know how to handle emotionally when someone cares. I get scared fearing they leave like the others. I used to push them away now. I don't do anything. I just let the pain consume me run its course then I'm acting like nothing happened. Deep down I want to die. This constant crap of this has made me hate my body over years of this then causing me to do starvation. It's on the verge of being a health risk of being anorexia. I'm only worried about losing weight because of this issue I'm forced in. Despite me telling you how I feel you don't know what it's like. Feeling all you do isn't worth anything but being your own best friend just to make it day by day. Deep down I want this artificial **** to due and someone loves me for me. Like I like intelligent girls, but people make mistakes people aren't perfect I call them stupid for being hateful that people aren't like them. It's ignorant and it's caused alot if the suffering in my neck of the states.
I stopped crying alot when someone is saddened by me which I've seen it. People feel a little bit of what I go through and are balling like crazy for hours even.
It shows how dissociated my struggles are from everyone else.
It puts to light why prisoners, homeless or people who suffer anything people don't understand outside the realm of everyone's simple first world issues are always misunderstood and mistreated often.
I'm one of those poor people, but I fight so hard to get out of here. Many days I hope my body gets a heart attack so I can have peace of something. I work all the time, the people who did cry from feeling what I go through try to be here for me and all I feel is nothing and it hurts the most later how I regret not able to show emotion from being so badly messed up.

See I'm not getting married. I want to date someone who respects me and ill respect them I just got to get passed that superficial barrier or class barrier. Most if the time I don't bother because knowing what happens. So i wanted to say I'm hurting alot now. My body aches from a nuero condition that will put me in a wheel chair and most people rather pity then be helpful or compassionate.

I really developed this hatred from the everyday indifference i receive. Rather i feel love is just some silly dream and wishing something will get better. I like taking action and doing it's helped me alot but alot of girls don't like it from me i guess.
So I feel I'm ugly or not worth anything after many years of it slowly eating away at you. I've been determined to lose as much weight and look muscular and appear healthy, but that's all people want what they can use not what they will gain or appreciate.
Rather I hate people. They want heroin, molly, coke or whatever to have fun. People here don't care about you me or themselves. This maybe untrue I hope but god I need someone to expose to me otherwise.

I feel like drinking now and I don't drink but god I want to.

[Yismymindblank12]

Ik you're right. It's hard to get on a focused track when you're not sure they are right it you are right how I am handling this.

For my experience the people I ended up dating told me how ****** of a person I am if I don't give them what they want. It wasn't fun it was very abusive and my life was filled with me trusting someone and I got raped, beaten, cheated on lied to or hurt in general like every relationship. I figured it's normal people choose to hurt me and call me crap. So I don't know what to expect when its not the case. I do have confidence and looks to my friends but my current issues that seem to have no end scare away or cause me to like someone blindly after knowing them for along time they use me. They aren't clear how they want our relationship to be. I don't some of these girls are my friends potential lovers or people who want to hurt me or don't care about me. I never know these things till afterwards.

I have a rare medical disorder my muscles lock up and contract without my control. I'm damn afraid of being in a wheel chair from this. Or choking from my internal organs failing from this.
Rather it's felt things got so bleak I have little to offer, so I used to believe my legitimacy and the little things what I do could make something happen rather I get overlooked and ignored everytime.

I'm not going to be their perfect version of a bf to anyone. So why try, just live your life and die. That's all I've been doing. I'm working so hard to make anything happen if I died now it would feel I did something for me at least because I did what I believed in for me. I never live for someone else deep down I just don't have many friends I trust or people. I trust like barely two people. Its enough for me.

[Yismymindblank12]

People see me as too much work. I don't blame them despite it hurts. I was told this before, by crushes who did like me. Its true my life is too much. It's caused me to lose everything almost now well now my health too. If I could have one solid friend I could see everyday and just do anything with then and we be like twins I couldn't want more from life. I've had it all happen I don't know why I'm still breathing. I cry every moment deep down of how I am suicidal just to find love. Man id appreciate if something right happened so much, but I don't know. I am afraid of overwhelming that person for existing and they'd do anything to leave me like everyone else has for whatever reason. Right now all I want to do is die because I got no love where I'm at.
I look in my mirror wanting to hurt what I see blaming for being here of the suffering put on me I shouldn't have to fight. I hate how so many people ik are given things they didn't deserve and I get unnoticed and fighting my whole life to get where they are at. I have to worry about things a teenager, now 21 year old shouldn't worry about it even when I was a child. I was burdened by a huge cross to bear and people rather condemn me our of their own insecurity and fear. I hate people like that. They are a silent kind of evil that are the root of why bad things happen to alot of people.