[seeker1950]

I am reluctant to post about this, and may even end up deleting it. I came here three years ago in a state of extreme depression, desperation and humiliation after a failed relationship.
Just recently, this fella has begun to show up in long, complicated dreams...all similar and symbolic of the same experience I had with him when I felt was "in love."
It's curious to me that now, only after I feel totally recovered, feeling nothing for the man, that he appears in long, involved dreams.
Has anyone else experienced this kind of thing?
I am thinking it is my mind trying to sort it out.
For two years, I actually continued to contact him thru email...my way of trying to make it "right."!!! I stopped doing this about 6 months ago, and have finally moved beyond!
Patty

[zapot7]

I've experienced the same. My fiance split up with me (many years ago) and it was a hard time in my life. IMO, I'm totally over it now - I'm married with kids, house, dog... no regrets.

But every once in a while I have an "important" dream with him playing a major role. The type of dream that you think is trying to tell you something. I'm not sure what, unfortunately. Dunno how much help this is.

[seeker1950]

Thanks, Zapot7,
It's just good to hear from someone who has experienced this!
I was truly in love with this man, and he told me emphatically that he wasn't "in love" with me! It was so humiliating! I'm 56 now, and will probably not venture into another relationship ...ever...so humiliating!
I think it's my mind trying to come to terms with it.
I've truly punished myself for my foolish behavior! I look in the mirror at myself and see how I've aged, let myself go, and been reclusive. The only positive in my life is my pursuit of my art study. I will probably never, ever put myself in the position fo being hurt again!
Patty

in 2006, i was still dreaming about my ex. excruiating dreams. very real and i always ended up being really hurt, embarrassed or humiliated in the dream. it's been a year since i've experienced a dream with him in it.......thank god! it hardly seems fair that you have to experience it twice!

[seeker1950]

Thanks, Pat,
But, you know, the dreams are not that painful....just a vallidation of what I experienced. In my long experience, I usually never dream of someone unless I really knew them, and they were part of my life.
It's good to have feedback from someone like you, Pat, who was there from the initial stage, the beginning of this experience, and to know you have experienced something similar.
I don't feel it is going thru it twice, being much stronger now/ I just see it, like I said before, as my mind working it out.
Dreams are mysterious, and. thankfully, don"t make me want to contact him again.
It's also sad and humiliating that I continued to contact him for so long, with my pitiful emails...cloaked as "just friendly" contacts...still trying to make it right and not so humiliating!
I'm past that now! I received much help here, but it still took long past the help to finally come to terms with it.
I think there are others here who are experincing the same, though different, circumstances....It takes time, precious time.
Love
Patty

[tiodlliwi]

Oh, yes- the "ex" dreams...

I have them a few times a year- sometimes boyfriends from high school (12 years ago), sometimes people I was never with but had crushes on, and, worst of all, the person I had an affair with 3 years ago! They are never bad, like you sad, and they are usually not sexual, but they haunt me. Like running into someone from your past (that you'd prefer to keep in your past!) at the mall or something... It just gives me a creepy feeling in the pit of my stomach, so I know what you are saying. For me, it also makes me feel horribly guilty- why do these men come to me in dreams when I'm happier with my dh than I've been in a long time!

That is really crazy that you posted this today actually, because this happened to me just last night for the first time in a long time. And, to tell you the truth, I have been in a slump about it all day- "what does this mean?" "Should I feel guilty?" and reminiscing (sp?) and all that...

Thanks for posting!

[seeker1950]

There is no reason whatsoever for feeling guilty.
I believe it's our subconscious working things out..truly.
It's great no longer to be waling wounded, but getting on with life! I can handle anything now, and the dreams are just our subconscious way of revisiting or dealing with it in a different way than when it was active and so painful!
Patty